Soaring
by Vivi-ntvg
Summary: Hiccup and Astrid have been through a lot... but, for the two of them, there's still a long road left. Can the heir of Berk's chiefdom and the archipelago's most wanted criminal overcome their differences? Or will those differences prevent them from finding what they're looking for? Sequel to Phoenix. Cover art by justinwharton.
1. Musings

**A/N: Guess who's back, back again :P The outline didn't take forever to complete this time, yay! (Although it's way longer than I expected it to be, why am I like this *cries*)**

 **If you haven't read Burning and/or Phoenix... you definitely need to read both to understand this.**

* * *

Hiccup was walking towards the smithy, Toothless padding beside him, when he heard his name being called by Eret's voice. Surprised, he turned around. It was unusual for the elder man to come looking for him. If there was a mission for him, it was always either Heather or Einar who let him know. The latter also supplied him with Gronkle Iron or asked questions about how to care for his dragon.

Eret, on the other hand, was the kind of man you always found with a sword or some other weapon, challenging others to fight him. Being among the biggest, most muscled men in the camp seemed to be a particular worry of his. Between that and his tendency to boast about his skills, Hiccup found himself steering clear of the man sometimes. He reminded him too much of Snotlout's most annoying traits.

Eret avoided him as well, although that was more out of his wounded pride than anything. One night, obviously under the influence of alcohol, the older man had made the mistake of challenging Hiccup to a dragon race. Astrid had been watching from the distance, but he could see her smiling and shaking her head, knowing that her employee was making a fool of himself. Of course, he'd lost spectacularly, and though he didn't think Eret held a grudge, he did stay away.

"Haddock!" Eret never called him by his first name, he had no idea why. "We have a new location. We leave tonight."

"Very well." He waited a moment to see if he'd add anything else, and when he didn't, he kept walking. Toothless followed, though not without throwing the other rider a smug glance first. After all, he may not understand words, but he could sense Eret's arrogance, and had loved putting him in his place. The Night Fury now made sure to remind the man of what had happened at every turn.

"Haddock?" he called again, and Hiccup turned.

"Yes?"

"You. Me. Tomorrow night. The arena. Our swords and nothing more. No dragons."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow, surprised. "Right after a mission?"

"Hofferson doesn't think it'll take long. So?"

Hiccup sighed. To be honest, having to work with Eret frequently since they were both dragon riders, he was tired of this stupid rivalry that the brunette had made up in his head. If a fight made him feel better, he'd take it.

"Sure."

Eret grinned. "Great! See you tonight." And with that, he turned around and left. Toothless warbled curiously, and Hiccup headed for the smithy, shaking his head.

"He's hopeless, bud."

At least Gerd was always glad for the extra help. As he worked on some weapons with the new Gronkle Iron, Hiccup thought about the latest mission. Although "raid" might be more appropriate a word. Ever since she'd got Viggo to lift the charges against him, Astrid had been sending constant attacks on his islands, freeing the dragons and destroying the bases. She'd also suspended all but her most private and necessary transactions, to reduce the chances of Viggo retaliating. According to her, the constant attacks were a way to debilitate him, after he'd just lost his main customer.

"But you didn't actually go to Erling's island", Hiccup had argued when she told him this. She'd explained how she'd freed him in detail, and he couldn't help but be impressed at the finesse of it all. "You just threatened to."

"Of course, but as long as I have the map, I'm a threat to him. I have an ace under my sleeve. He'd rather cripple his business a bit and try to recover than risk suffering a full blow."

"So if he's lost a customer, and then we raid his islands..."

"We don't give him time to think his next move. We force him to take quick measures to solve the immediate problem. Slowly, we close in. And once we've destroyed all his bases, we'll destroy him."

Hiccup still didn't like the idea of having agreed to murder, but he understood that it made sense. Astrid was right; he was too dangerous and cunning, and would get out of any prison. For the sake of dragons everywhere, they had to kill him.

There was something else bothering him. Since many of Astrid's transactions weren't taking place, the employees that were normally away were staying at the camp, which had forced them to move to a bigger island. During his stay in the past few months, he'd never seen so many people walking around, at mealtimes, everywhere. He felt like he hadn't understood just on how big a scale Astrid's operations were. Luckily, nobody questioned who he was, or what he was doing there. It was easier to go by unnoticed in such a large crowd, although Toothless certainly attracted attention.

The problem with having so many people around was that he never got to see Astrid. She was always busy, talking with one person or another, and in fact she didn't even go with the other riders to the raids. Instead, she did other missions that also required Stormfly, apparently looking for Viggo's location, or so he'd heard.

Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal. Sure, he liked talking to her and all, but if for a while he couldn't, then he'd take it. The issue was, they hadn't talked about the night before they came here. They hadn't talked about the kiss.

And Hiccup felt that they had to. He'd expected her to bring it up the following morning, but she hadn't, and he hadn't had the courage to do it himself. The sensation was still too new. Not that he regretted having done it. It was the first time he kissed someone just for the sake of it, and he'd enjoyed every second of it. He had thought so had she, but apparently that wasn't the case.

They'd come back here, and Astrid had immediately locked herself in her tent to make plans. Since then, he'd hardly seen her; only a brief glance or smile when he happened to walk past her. Sometimes, it felt like she was avoiding him.

Except that the idea was ridiculous. Astrid wasn't the kind of woman to run away from her problems. If she took issue with what had happened that night, she'd come and tell him. She was straightforward like that. If she didn't like him kissing her, she would let him know. He almost wanted her to come and yell at him for what he'd done. He'd prefer it to this silence. Then he could tell her he wouldn't do it again, and they could forget about it and be friends. (There was a small part of him that reminded him of her dilated pupils right before he kissed her, but he was starting to wonder if he hadn't imagined it.)

He was pretty sure that everyone had noticed this sudden distance between them. (Everyone who had been there the past few months, that was.) However, they respected their boss' privacy and didn't ask. Well, most of them, anyway. After all the raids they'd done together in the past week, he'd got closer to Eret, Heather and Einar, the other riders of the camp with whom he did missions. And while Einar would never question Astrid's personal life, Eret and Heather had no such reservations. Eret was teasing, while Heather seemed more concerned than anything.

He wanted to talk to Astrid. Hopefully this would all be over soon, and then things would calm down around the camp.

* * *

"Hey, Hiccup", Heather greeted him when he showed up. "Hey, Toothless." The dragon warbled and came up to her, letting her pet him.

"Hey", he replied. "The usual?"

"Yep, as far as I know. Fly in, destroy everything, leave."

"Very well." He looked around, noticing that they were alone in the spot where they usually met with the other riders. Toothless had gone over to greet Windshear. "Where's everyone?"

"Firestrike was going through a mood or something, last I heard. Einar was helping Eret through it."

"Oh."

It was quiet for a few seconds.

"Hiccup..."

"Yes?"

"Now that there's no one else around... what happened? Between you and Astrid?"

"Nothing", Hiccup replied instantly. He didn't really know if he wanted to talk about it. And while it was true that Heather might be able to tell him what was going on with Astrid, he also knew that, whatever he said, she was likely going to tell her friend.

"Come on. Before, when you were here, you two were practically joined at the hip. Even in her busiest days, she'd make some time for you. Now she seems to be avoiding you. Clearly, something happened."

"So she _is_ avoiding me", he said without thinking, and then winced. He didn't mean to let Heather hear that.

"Of course she is. But there has to be a good reason for that." She stepped closer. "After you got discharged at the trial, she disappeared for a while and then came back with you. I know she went to Berk. I don't know what she did, or why she brought you back, but I know that those things have to be related. So come on. Astrid is like a sister to me, and she won't talk to me about what's going on. I'm worried."

Hiccup watched her face carefully, and could see nothing more than concern for her friend. She wasn't asking for gossip, like Eret would; she wanted to help Astrid. He opened his mouth to answer when steps were heard.

"Hello, Haddock, Heather", Eret greeted as he came closer. Einar walked behind him. "Shall we do this?"

* * *

The raid went by as usual; they hit all the dragon traps, the Hunters ran away screaming, and they freed the dragons. By now, Hiccup was surprised that Viggo hadn't put more security measures in place; he had to know that he was being attacked. Not that the rider was complaining; it made their job much easier, after all.

When they were flying back, Eret suddenly nudged Firestrike to get closer to Hiccup.

"So Haddock, you and Hofferson break up?"

That wasn't what Hiccup had been expecting; he thought the other man would be thinking about the upcoming 'fight' that they'd scheduled.

"Uh, no? I mean, can't break up when you've never been together in the first place."

Eret scoffed. "Yeah, right."

Hiccup noticed Einar seemed to tense. "Eret..."

"Just because _you_ won't ask doesn't mean everyone else is that way. So? What was it? Weren't you, you know... satisfying her needs?"

The other rider felt himself go red. Luckily, he was saved the trouble of having to answer by Heather, who intervened.

"Eret!" she said sharply. "What Astrid does or doesn't do is none of your concern. Got that?"

Eret seemed to shrink. "Yes."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow at the quick change in his demeanour. Once they were back at the camp, though, he went back to his characteristic cockiness.

"Well, Haddock, see you soon. Get ready to eat my dust."

Heather looked at him as he walked away, confused. Then she turned to Hiccup. "What was that about?" She smirked. "Please don't tell me he's challenged you to a dragon race again."

"No, he wants to spar this time."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm not sure how much of a chance I have."

"If you want to get him off your back, you should let him win. Then his pride will be mended."

"Sounds like a good idea." As they walked away, he thought back to how he'd reacted to her scolding. "By the way, what was that all about, back in the flight? He seems pretty scared of you."

"Oh, he isn't scared. It's just that... this isn't his first time making comments like that, you know. He oversteps his boundaries sometimes."

"And Astrid doesn't mind?" he asked, surprised. He wouldn't have expected her to accept that kind of comment being made about her. Especially with how much she cared about her reputation.

"She does, of course, but on the whole, Eret's a loyal employee, so she keeps him."

"Not to mention he probably knows too much by now."

Heather smirked. "Also that."

They went their separate ways. Hiccup was going to the kitchens to get some food, when Astrid's voice stopped him.

"Hiccup!"

He turned around, surprised that she would come talk to him after so long practically ignoring him. "Astrid?"

"Come with me."

He followed her to her tent. As they walked, he wondered what she wanted, why she'd suddenly decided to speak to him. Did she want to talk about what had happened, or was this completely unrelated? She remained silent.

The moment they were in the tent, though, she turned to him. "We have a mission."

"'We' being...?"

"Just you and me."

Hiccup tried not to let his surprise show in his face. After all the effort she'd put into avoiding him, he was surprised she wanted them to go alone. "Okay. Where?"

"To a ship that's about a day away from here. We're going undercover. I suspect that Viggo is leaving his bases of operation defenceless because he plans to run away and start over somewhere else. We can't let that happen."

"No, we can't", he agreed. "So what's in that ship?"

"According to the information I have, the captain there owns a number of ships of different sizes, and Viggo plans to use him in his escape. If we can get into his chambers, perhaps we'll find a letter or something to tell us where he is. And if we find nothing, well, we can always come back with more people and interrogate him, but I'd rather not risk Viggo finding out."

"Okay. When do we leave?"

Astrid smiled. "Now."

* * *

During the flight, Hiccup kept glancing at Astrid out of the corner of his eye. He expected her to talk to him, now that they were alone, but she never did. She just stared straight ahead, seemingly lost in thought.

"Astrid", he spoke at one point. She looked at him.

"Yes?" she answered, but there was something unreadable in her eyes. Something that prevented him from asking the question he wanted to ask.

"How are we getting in?" he said instead.

"We'll take the place of two sailors. I've already arranged it."

"Oh. Okay."

The rest of the flight was silent. Toothless crooned, concerned, but he patted his dragon's head absentmindedly and quietly reassured him that everything was fine.

* * *

"There they are", Astrid spoke, as they hid behind some crates. The docks were bustling with activity, and the ship that they were about to get in was huge; a crowd of people were going around, loading cargo and shouting orders.

"So whose place are we taking?" Hiccup asked. Astrid pointed at a group of people who were hanging around a door.

"Those are the new recruits. They go inside that office to get a tag with their names. We're going in instead of those two." She pointed at a man and a woman who were standing somewhat separated from the others. "Everyone is new, so nobody really recognises each other. And those two are loners, so if we switch, it won't be noticed."

"And how are we going to switch?"

She smiled. "Wait for it."

A minute later, a small explosion rang nearby, opposite their hiding place. The new recruits went to see what had happened, but the man and woman stayed in place. Astrid took the chance to take out a pipe from which she shot two darts in quick succession. They hit their targets, and Hiccup and Astrid came out and dragged them into the bushes.

"How long will the effect last?" Hiccup asked.

"Long enough for us to be out of here by the time they wake up."

They mingled with the other recruits, looking at the place where the explosion had happened, and when it was time, went into the office and got their tags. Hiccup was now Henrik, while Astrid was Ava. Soon enough, they were on board and the ship was sailing.

For about an hour, Hiccup went around, doing whatever task he was given, and thinking about Toothless. The Night Fury had been given dragon nip and was being kept safe in the island they'd parted from by some of Astrid's people. Stormfly, however, was hanging by the side of ship, ready to fly them away when the moment came.

At one point, Astrid came near. She washed the floor right next to him.

"In about ten minutes, the guard is going to change", she said softly. "I'll come back for you then. Follow me."

She went away then, and soon enough she was back. At the same time, he saw a few men come up from a staircase and stay off to the side, speaking with others.

"Come." He walked behind Astrid as she slipped into the staircase. They walked along a hallway until they got to a door at the end. Hiccup was surprised when Astrid reached out and simply opened it.

"The captain's chambers aren't even closed?"

"This isn't Drago's ship. Security is a bit more lax around here."

They went in, and inside it was exactly like Hiccup expected: a bed, a desk, a chair, and a ton of papers everywhere.

"So what are we looking for?"

"Anything with Viggo's name on it. It may give us a clue as to where he is going."

The sudden sound of footsteps on the other side of the door made Hiccup look up, terrified that they'd be caught, but Astrid got closer to him and smiled reassuringly.

"It's just the new guards", she whispered. "They go up and down the corridor every ten minutes. Stormfly is right next to us; we can slip away through the window, if we make a hole around it. They won't suspect a thing. The captain himself is rarely here."

For a while, they searched through maps and letters, until at last Hiccup found something. He called Astrid over and showed her the letter.

 _Captain Bravesword,_

 _I would like to express my gratitude for your impeccable service. I am aware that arranging a ship to Firestone Island on such short notice is a difficult task. Accept this payment with an added bonus for your efficiency and I will see you in ten days forth._

 _Cordially,_

 _Viggo Grimborn_

Hiccup turned the paper around; it was dated from two days ago, so they still had eight days left.

"What's Firestone Island?" he asked.

"It's pretty far to the south", Astrid said, "but there are a ton of dragons there, and people around the area consider them curious creatures. I bet he sees potential for his business there."

"So we have to get th-"

He was interrupted by voices outside.

"General! What brings you here?"

"The captain has some plans he wishes to discuss."

"Of course, of course. But we need to see your permit."

"Sure, it's right- blast it, where is it?"

While whoever was on the other side of the door searched, Hiccup and Astrid shared a panicked look. There was absolutely no place to hide in the room, and widening the window to get out would take time.

Suddenly, he remembered the last time they'd been in a situation much like this, a long time ago. In Drago's ship.

And then he knew what he had to do.

He grabbed Astrid's shoulders. She made a noise of surprise, which was quickly muffled when he kissed her, hard.

* * *

 **A/N: So that happened, again. I was going to stop the chapter before this, but I thought, 'fuck it, I want to get to this point and this is the first chapter. It has to be good.' Plus, miscommunication makes me angry, so the faster I resolve it, the better for all of us, hehe.**


	2. From Valhalla to Hel

**A/N: Dang, why is this chapter so long? Anyway, I think it's a good time to give a shoutout to Ulcaasi, who made sure to review every chapter in Phoenix and reminded me that there was someone out there reading this series. Thank you so much, dude.**

* * *

Astrid knew that Hiccup was getting frustrated with her. She knew that he wanted to talk about what had happened between them, but didn't know how to broach the topic. He had wanted to do so the morning they left Berk, although he didn't manage it. So, in an attempt to avoid that talk, she'd put distance between them as soon as they reached camp. She found excuses to do missions that she could've sent others for, and tried to be as busy as she could each day. When she couldn't leave, she found ways to send him away instead. It was selfish, and honestly rather cowardly of her, but she didn't want to talk about what had happened.

Right now, she could keep him around, as long as they pretended that everything was normal. If they talked about what had happened... Astrid knew what she was going to say. It would hurt both of them, the truth, but it was necessary that she let it out. And it would push him away from her. She knew it was the only way to keep him (and his heart) safe, but that didn't make it easy. So she put the moment off, even though she knew, deep down, that it was only a matter of time before he cornered her. She could see it, in the way he looked at her when they walked past each other. His half confused, half hurt expression. He wanted to talk to her, and he was as stubborn as they came. He'd find a way.

However, she'd never expected it to come like this. When he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her, she didn't react for a second; she was too stunned. But then she understood. She could practically hear the question he was asking. It was there, in the way his mouth pressed down on hers desperately, like he needed an answer, and soon.

She kissed him back, and then thought of the situation they were in, of the reason why he was doing this. And came to the conclusion that their position wasn't convincing.

(That was what she'd tell herself later. That everything she did in that moment, she did for the act.)

She reached for the collar of his tunic and walked backwards, pulling him with her, until her thighs collided with the desk. She managed to get on top of it without breaking the kiss, and pulled Hiccup closer until his knees met hers. He came willingly. Without thinking, she spread her legs so that he could stand between them, which he promptly did. His hands landed on the desk, to each side of her. One of them went up to hold her hip.

His mouth was still moving insistently against hers, and at one point, she felt his tongue brush against her lower lip. He tried to retreat, but she touched his tongue with her own, prompting him to continue, and soon their tongues were battling one another. The kiss became much more passionate, and Astrid felt her hands, which were still in Hiccup's collar, move upwards. This time, she was powerless against the urge to run her fingers through his hair. The feeling was even more pleasant than she'd imagined. She also hadn't expected the noise that Hiccup made when she did that; half surprise, and, dare she think, half pleasure.

The fact that he didn't stop her also said a lot. Instead, he stepped even closer to her, their bodies pressed together. For the second time, she didn't think and instead wrapped her legs around his waist. This time, he stiffened noticeably, but didn't pull away. After a moment's hesitation, the hand that wasn't on her hip went to rest on her thigh, right above the knee.

They were pressed so close together, and in such an intimate position, Astrid couldn't help but think of the few times she'd done this before. And then she felt the sudden, urgent desire to just _grind_ against him. He was so close, and she was in the perfect position to do so... but she restrained herself, this time. Making out was one thing. _That_ would be taking it too far. So she just enjoyed the kiss and the feeling of closeness.

She'd completely forgotten why they were even doing this in the first place. So much so that, the first time the general cleared his throat when he saw them there, she barely heard him. She didn't even react, and neither did Hiccup. Both carried on exactly as they were. It wasn't until the man let out a loud "Excuse me!" that they stopped. Astrid felt as though she was drunk, and judging from Hiccup's face, so did he.

"What?" she asked, turning to the general. "Can't two Vikings get some privacy here?" Hiccup suppressed a smile, and she realised that that was exactly what she'd said last time they were in this situation.

The man scratched his head. "Well, yeah, but the captain's chambers? I mean, I guess nobody comes here..." He shook his head. "How did the two of you get in?"

Astrid smirked. "That's a secret."

The general huffed. "Well, look. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to grab my paper and go. When the next change of guard comes, I expect the two of you to be gone, the same way you came in, I suppose. Deal?"

"Deal", they answered in unison.

"All right." The man looked around for a few seconds, and soon found the paper. He walked away, and before leaving, threw them a serious glance. "By the next change of guard." Then he was gone.

And Hiccup and Astrid were still standing in their embrace. Their rather _intimate_ embrace. Astrid kept her gaze on the door, knowing Hiccup was looking at her. Knowing what he was probably thinking about. That they needed to talk.

And they would. She owed it to him. But not now.

She dropped her hands from his hair. "We should go", she murmured, not meeting his eye.

They remained silent as they widened the window with Stormfly's help. And they remained silent during the flight back. When they landed, she finally looked him in the eye again.

"Do you know that cliff on the other side of the island?" she asked him. _No more running away_ , she thought.

Hiccup looked confused, but nodded. "Yeah."

"Meet me there tonight." It wasn't until much later that she realised how that could have sounded. But she knew that Hiccup would interpret it the correct way.

* * *

Once again, Hiccup found himself wondering about Astrid's attitude throughout the day. She had definitely enjoyed the kiss as much as he had; there was no question of that now. Not with the way she'd reacted. Yet she still refused to talk to him. He didn't understand what was going on. Hopefully, that night it'd be cleared.

The only moment he thought about something else was when Eret came up to him, complaining that he'd missed their sparring session.

"I was getting ready last night, when Heather mentioned that you and Hofferson had up and left to do something, and wouldn't be back until today. You can't just conveniently run away, Haddock."

Hiccup sighed and resisted the urge to rub his forehead. "I wasn't... Look, if you really want to do this, let's just reschedule. But not tonight. I... have another compromise tonight."

Eret smirked. "Sure. How about right now?"

"Uh..."

And that was how he found himself holding Inferno and facing Eret. Remembering Heather's advice, he decided to pretend to fight and then give up. He wasn't in the mood for this, anyway.

It only lasted a few minutes. At first, Hiccup actively attacked the other man. He was much bigger than himself, but that was the case with most of his opponents. It was something he was used to. Soon, he began moving slower, pretending to get tired, until eventually he found himself with Eret's sword against his neck.

"You win", Hiccup said, without much enthusiasm. "Congratulations."

"I think you can do better than that", Eret answered, helping him get up. "Rematch?"

 _Oh, for Thor's sake. Doesn't he ever give up?_ "Maybe some other time."

"I'll hold you to that", Eret grinned.

 _Please don't_ , the rider thought.

* * *

Nightfall arrived and Hiccup flew Toothless to the spot Astrid had told him. He found her there, along with Stormfly. His dragon immediately rushed to greet hers and then they bounded off, playing some strange game. Hiccup went to sit by Astrid.

"Hey", he said.

"Hey."

Silence. Hiccup was unsure if he should speak first.

"So..." he started.

"We need to talk", she said.

"Yeah", he agreed. "We do."

Astrid took a deep breath.

"Listen", she began. "I know you must feel confused. When you... That night, I didn't reject you, and yet the next morning I acted like nothing had happened and refused to talk about it. I didn't want to leave you hanging like that. But I thought that, maybe if we pretended that everything was the way it used to be... that you'd leave it alone. That if I didn't bring it up and neither did you... nothing had to change."

Hiccup's confusion was only growing. She didn't want to talk about it? But why? Had she decided that she regretted it after all? And yet the second time he kissed her, she hadn't rejected him either. Was this something she'd decided just now?

"Well", he said slowly. "If you don't want things to change... they don't have to, I guess." If she'd decided she hadn't enjoyed it... the only thing he could do was respect that, and keep his distance. Although the thought stung, he supposed he could live with it. He felt closer to her than ever, but it could be just as friends, he guessed. Hel, with everything that had happened, he hadn't even considered just how much things _could_ change between them, if they went down that path. If he was being honest, it was kind of scary.

Was that why Astrid didn't want it?

"Hiccup, let me speak, please." He waited. "I don't want things to change... but not for the reason you think."

Okay, he was officially lost. What other reason could there be?

"I... I _do_ want it", she said, waving her hand around. "This. Us. For there to _be_ an us. But... we can't."

The happiness that Hiccup had felt at her first sentence was immediately overshadowed by her final words. What did she mean, they _couldn't_?

He must've said it aloud, because she answered him. "Because we're too different."

 _That_ was not the answer he'd been expecting. Then again, on hindsight, he probably should have. All throughout his ordeal of being chased, she'd insisted that she was a monster and he was not. Back in the cove, when he'd told her that they were more similar than he'd first thought, she'd rejected the idea immediately. No matter how much he insisted that she was good, she'd say she wasn't.

It was unbelievable that she would let something like _that_ get in their way, if she really did want... whatever it was between them.

"Astrid..."

"Please, let me explain. I'm not talking about personalities here. I think we both know _that_ isn't a problem for us. It never has been. Perhaps it should have been; it would've made things easier. For the both of us." She sighed. "I'm talking about our backgrounds. Our lives. And more importantly, our _futures_."

Hiccup was starting to get confused again. He didn't understand how their childhoods could be the problem, if she wasn't talking about the way their characters had been shaped by them.

"Think about it", she continued. "You're the heir of Berk, Hiccup. You'll be chief someday. Do you really think that your people would accept you... having _any_ kind of relationship with one of the archipelago's most wanted criminals, never mind a serious one?"

Oh.

 _Oh._

That... that made a lot more sense. The situation she was describing did sound pretty impossible. The people of Berk would never accept something like that.

And yet... it sounded so unfair. Why should other people get a say in his life and who he decided to spend it with?

Except he might be chief one day (if he was able to convince Berk there was no reason to be afraid of him), and he knew that a chief had to protect his own at all costs, even above his own interests. It was a lesson that his father had repeated to him often. And those interests included his private life. After all, how many marriages were arranged between tribe heirs? Those people were stuck in those marriages, whether they were happy or not, for the benefit of their tribe. And considering the lack of choices in Berk, it seemed like he would end up with the same fate.

"You understand, don't you?" Astrid asked. "I knew you would."

"I do, but... it doesn't sound right. This should be my... _our_ choice to make. Not Berk's. Not your people's."

She sighed. "I know. But it is what it is."

"But..." Hiccup kept trying to come up with objections. He couldn't give up just like that. "But what if I don't become the next chief?"

Astrid looked at him, puzzled. "Why wouldn't you?"

"You know why. I may not be able to convince my village that I'm not dangerous."

"It still wouldn't work." He began to protest, but she held up her hand to silence him. "Say you don't become chief. What changes? If you stay in Berk, your father will never approve of me, and neither will your people. They'd turn their backs on you for that, probably. You'd become an outcast again, which is exactly what you told me you didn't want to happen. And you can't stay with me, so..."

"Why not? It's worked out great so far." Or so he hoped. The scenario she'd described previously was depressing. He hadn't really thought things through, but it was clear that Astrid had, and she was describing all the obstacles in their path in excruciating detail.

"Sure, because you have other tasks that you can focus on. Tasks that are more... benevolent in nature than what's normal around here, and that allows you to turn a blind eye to many things. But it's not always like that. Once we're done with Viggo, my activities will return to their usual status. I know you've changed after what you've been through, but not that much. You were hesitant when I said we had to kill Viggo, and that is probably one of the least morally-questionable things you'll see around here. You may think you're ready for this... this _life_ , but you're not. And I'd rather you never were."

He wanted to argue with her, tell her she was wrong. That he might learn to live with it. And yet he couldn't, because she was right. He didn't think he'd be able to take it. Smuggling, or whatever it was she did on a regular basis, killing anyone who stood in his path... he doubted he'd ever have the stomach for it.

"So that's it?" he asked in an emotionless voice. He felt suddenly empty inside. He'd been so excited... but she'd showed him reality. "Nothing can ever happen between us?" It sounded so awfully... definitive. Unchanging.

Astrid sighed. "Not the way I see it. I'm not saying 'never' because, well, you never know. But... no. I'm sorry. This is exactly why I was trying to avoid this talk. I didn't want to... bring you down so hard."

"It's fine", he told her. "I mean, it's not fine. I hate that it has to be this way. But it's not your fault. I should've seen it, I suppose. I should've realised it. Like you did. I wasn't thinking."

"People are never rational with... these things", she answered. "Plus, I knew it. That it couldn't work out. I was aware of it from the get-go." She shrugged. "And yet here I am. I knew these things, and I didn't care. Or maybe I did, but I couldn't stop myself."

Hiccup stared at her. The way she spoke was so dispassionate, almost cold. Like she had no emotions regarding this, despite her words. He shouldn't be fooled by it, though. He knew her well enough to recognise her act. He knew first-hand how convincing it was. Besides, she'd always stated she'd never lie to him.

Yet the insecure part of him, the boy that had spent fifteen years of his life being ridiculed, couldn't help but wonder.

"Couldn't you?"

Another confused look. "Couldn't I what?"

"Stop yourself."

"I don't think I follow."

He took a deep breath. "You say you want this, but... the way you speak about it says something else. You said it yourself, people aren't capable of being rational about... about this stuff." Saying 'love' or 'matters of the heart' would sound too deep for this conversation. "But you sound perfectly rational about it. And I can't help but wonder why that is."

To his surprise, she snorted. "Seriously? That's what you're thinking?" She shook her head. "It really shouldn't surprise me, I guess. Only someone with no experience with women would question... what I want."

"Well, excuse me for not having any women my age around", he replied, mock-offended.

"No, it's not your fault. Really, though. You and I have been the talk of the camp for quite a while now. And I'm pretty sure everyone who cared enough to look could notice how I felt towards you. In fact, that only fuelled those rumours."

Well, that made him feel better. Still... "So..."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "Yes, Hiccup. I like you. Just as much as you like me. Probably more." She looked at him from the corner of her eye and smiled. "Definitely more."

Despite the situation, he couldn't help smiling back. It was almost instinctive, a reaction to seeing her smile.

Gods, how could have been so blind as to what he really felt towards her? "You don't know that."

"I do, trust me." The moment passed, though, and her face turned sad again. "That only makes this harder."

He swallowed past the lump that was forming in his throat. "So that's it? We like each other, but we can't be together?"

"So it seems."

Astrid lay down on the grass, staring up at the sky. Hiccup joined her and, after a moment's hesitation, grasped her hand.

Neither of them said anything, but Hiccup could feel the lump go past his throat and settle as a dull ache in his chest.

* * *

That night, he didn't really sleep. He spent the night thinking about everything that had been said. Everything that had happened, and everything that might happen. And by morning, he'd reached a decision. It was hard, but at the same time felt like his only choice.

He walked to Astrid's tent and, after getting permission from her guards, walked in. Despite the early hour, she was already at her desk, studying a map. She looked up when he came in.

"Hiccup! Did you sleep at all? You don't look good."

He shrugged. He probably had dark smudges under his eyes, but he didn't care. "I didn't. But I was thinking, and I made a decision."

She tensed slightly. "Which is?"

"I'll stay here until we take down Viggo and destroy his business completely. After that..." He inhaled. "I'm leaving."

"Are you going home?" she asked in a tone that sounded almost hopeful.

"No. I'm leaving the archipelago."

* * *

 **A/N: *hides behind shield* PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! Remember, this is only chapter 2, there's still a long way to g- *dodges projectile* I gave you another kiss! More stuff will happen!**

 ***sees angry mob* See you next chapter! *runs away***


	3. Decisions

Astrid had seen just how sad Hiccup had been when she told him the truth. She knew that he hadn't really thought about it, not like she had, but her logic was irrefutable. What he'd do with that knowledge, she had no idea. She hoped he would come to his senses and go home, where he'd be safe and she could keep an eye on him.

Leaving the archipelago, however, would make that impossible. When he said those words, for a moment she was too stunned to speak.

"The archipelago? You mean..."

"Leave everything behind. Yes."

He said it with such certainty. How could he be so ready to give up everyone in his life, and the only home he knew?

"But why? Surely you can go back to Berk."

"No, I can't. Astrid, we've talked about this. It's like you said yesterday: I don't want to be the village outcast. Which, no doubt, is what awaits me if I go back there. For fifteen years, people didn't want to associate with me because I was always screwing up. Now, they won't want to be near me for fear of what I may do to them. Berkians are stubborn, and I've no doubt that the council elders have poisoned people's minds. They fully believe that I'm dangerous." Astrid tried to speak, but he raised a hand. "I know that you think I can convince them otherwise, but the thing is... I'm not sure I even want to try."

 _That_ she wasn't expecting. "What? Why not? Would you really rather just leave?" She had never really had a place that she could call home. For her, home had always been people: her father, Birger, and later, people like Alvin or her employees. She couldn't imagine leaving them behind if they turned their backs on her one day.

And yet that was exactly what Hiccup was going to do.

"Because... I can't convince them of something that I don't believe. I mean, never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I was capable of threatening my own father. Even when I was going behind his back in the worst way possible, I never would've done something like that. And yet I did."

"You weren't yourself", she jumped in immediately. She couldn't believe he was still stewing over that. They'd talked about it. He was tired, and stressed, and jumpy, or else he never would've acted out like that.

"No, but that's exactly the problem, isn't it? I thought I would always stay true to myself. But that incident showed me that it was possible for me to be pushed too far. That, under certain circumstances, I'm capable of things I never thought I would be capable of. And what happens if such a situation arises again while I'm in my village? What then? I might harm someone I care about. Someone I grew up with. And I can't risk that."

So _there_ was the root of the problem. He was afraid of himself. He'd discovered his own limits weren't as... moral as he thought, and he believed that it could happen again. It made sense, she supposed, but there was something she needed to make him understand.

"Do you really think that something that bad could happen again? Your situation was pretty darn extreme, Hiccup. It's hard to imagine something that could come even close to that. Not to mention, I'd be keeping an eye on things. I wouldn't let it come to that, if I could prevent it."

He gave a hint of a smile. "I know. But I was thinking more of something internal. For example, a lot of people distrust me right now, and the elders in particular are insufferable. I can't guarantee that, one day, one of them won't make me mad enough. And then I'd just be proving their point."

She wanted to argue, but couldn't. Power-hungry people were capable of anything, and she wouldn't doubt that they could resort to purposefully needling Hiccup until he exploded. Then they could keep on spreading their malicious message. Undoubtedly, Hiccup himself believed this would happen.

His argument was solid, she had to give him that. But still... he had to have some second thoughts about this.

"All that sounds very rational, but... leaving your home can't possibly be that easy, Hiccup. You're talking about the people who you've known your whole life, the only island you've ever known."

"It's not." He sighed. "You're right, I don't actually _want_ to leave, but I don't feel like I have a choice."

"There's always a choice." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she groaned. "Sorry, that was super cliché, but it's true. And what I'm about to say is even worse." He frowned, and she smiled. "What does your heart tell you?"

His expression cleared, and he laughed. "I didn't think I'd ever hear you say something that cheesy." Then he was sombre again. "And you know what my heart tells me? It says, _not again_. I... you'd think the Viking who endured fifteen years before showing his village that he wasn't useless could also show them that he isn't dangerous."

"Also the Viking who's one of the most stubborn people I've ever met", she chimed in.

"Also that. But I can't. The mere thought is discouraging. The thought of... being avoided by everyone..."

He trailed off, and his whole demeanour changed. He looked... deflated. Discouraged, like he'd said.

Astrid felt like she was finally understanding a fundamental fact about him. All that time being ridiculed by his village, having only Birger by his side... it had left a mark on him, one that was bigger than he let on. He may act like it was all fine, because in the end he'd proven his worth. He had probably forgiven them... but he could not forget. The memories were there, etched deep within his mind, even if he didn't pay attention to them, and in a moment like this, they were most likely resurfacing. Hiccup thought about the loneliness of those days, and the little boy who was always rejected by everyone immediately cried out against being put in such a situation again.

"And what about the fact that you're the heir?" she asked. This time, it was more out of curiosity than her trying to dissuade him.

Hiccup shrugged. "The council will have to choose a new one."

His father would find that extremely hard, they both knew it, but neither one mentioned it.

"Okay", she said at last. It wasn't the best thing to say, but really, what was?

"Okay? What does that mean?"

"It means I understand where you're coming from. It means that, now that you've explained it to me, it sounds logical." She gave a wry smile. "Not going to lie, I'll miss you."

He smiled sadly. "Yeah, me too. I mean, I think I'll miss a lot of people, but you more than..." he appeared to think. "More than most people."

"Am I up there with your father?" she asked with a cheeky smile.

He looked at her for a few seconds, and then smiled back. "Yeah, definitely."

"Well, so are you, if it's any consolation."

"Not really, but... thanks, I guess."

It was quiet for a few seconds.

"So... you're leaving after we're done with Viggo?"

"Yeah."

"Well, in that case, I should show you where we're going in order to do that." She pointed at the map on her desk. "Here's Firestone Island."

The conversation was all business after that, but Hiccup thought that her eyes seemed a little less bright.

* * *

Heather went into Astrid's tent, carrying some parchments she'd asked for.

"Hey", she said. "I got those records."

"Oh, hey." The moment she spoke, Heather could tell that something was wrong. Her shoulders were just the tiniest bit slouched, and her lips were slightly turned down. She could hide it from other people, but not from her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing", she replied instantly. Heather just looked at her. "Nothing I can tell you", she amended.

"Why not?"

"Because... it's not mine to tell." She seemed to think. "Then again, I suppose he _would_ tell you, eventually."

"Hiccup? What about him?"

Astrid glanced at the tent opening meaningfully. Understanding, Heather went towards it and let the guards outside know that they should go for a round. Everyone knew that was code for 'Astrid is talking about something she doesn't want others to overhear'. They complied instantly.

Once they were gone, Heather sat down in front of Astrid.

"So, tell me. What's up? Only Hiccup could get you to look this sad. You've been avoiding him since you got here, and he seems troubled, too. You haven't been talking, but it's clear that it's been affecting you. So come on. Spill."

"All right."

Heather listened with astonishment as the blonde talked about how they'd kissed back in Berk, how she'd been trying to pretend like nothing had happened, the ship, and their conversations, both the one the night before and the one they'd had that morning. By the time she was finished, Heather understood why her friend was so downcast.

"So he's pretty convinced then."

"Yup. Nothing I can do to stop him. And I wouldn't try anyway. His arguments make sense, and if the idea of being an outcast triggers so many bad memories for him... then I'd rather he left."

Astrid spoke nonchalantly, as though she was pretending it didn't hurt her. Some might wonder why the blonde even tried to put up a charade for her closest friend, but Heather knew better than that. She knew that Astrid was so used to hiding her feelings, that it came more naturally to her than actually showing them. It took some coaxing to get her guard down.

And that was extremely fucked up, now that she thought about it. The fact that her lifestyle had conditioned her to that. Astrid was a good person, despite everything; she deserved better than that.

She deserved to get what she really wanted. Which right now, was Hiccup.

An idea suddenly occurred to her.

"What if you left with him?"

Astrid looked confused. Then let out a short laugh. Then, when Heather didn't laugh with her, she frowned.

"Are you serious?"

"Completely."

"What makes you think I _want_ to leave?"

"The fact that I know you better than anyone. When you speak about your childhood with your father, your eyes light up in a way that shows me that you miss that time. You miss the idea of him, of having a family. Of living a normal life. But, after everything you've done, you don't think you deserve it."

"I _don't_ deserve it", Astrid said firmly, although her eyes were regretful. "I don't get to fly off into the sunset with someone and ignore everything else. No decent person could do that."

" _Exactly_ ", Heather pointed out. In this regard, she agreed with Hiccup completely. "The fact that you realise that shows just how decent _you_ are."

"It doesn't change what I've done."

Heather sighed. She loved Astrid like a sister, but sometimes she could be so tiresome. "Okay. Forget about deserving or not. Do you want it? To... how did you put it? Fly off into the sunset?"

"Yeah."

"With Hiccup."

"If possible."

"Well then, what's stopping you from doing just that? Go with him."

"And how do I know if he even _wants_ me to go with him?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "He likes you. He may not have said those exact words, but he implied them, and I think anyone with eyes can see it."

"Yeah, but does he like me enough to want me to go with him?"

"Nobody wants to be alone, Astrid. You of all people should know that."

"He won't be alone. He'll have Toothless."

"Toothless doesn't speak."

"If he wants to be around other people, he'll find a new place."

"Wow, you can be really dense when you want to, did you know that?" Heather got up. She'd said all she could. "Look, it's your choice. You have a chance now that you didn't have when your father died. A real chance to be happy. I think that, at the very least, you should ask him. Maybe you're afraid of being rejected, and that makes sense, but you've never been a coward, Astrid." She turned around. "See you later."

* * *

That night, Hiccup was, to say the least, curious, when Einar told him that Astrid was waiting for him in the same place as the previous night. (The boy had been a bit flustered when he said that, but Hiccup didn't bother telling him that it wasn't what he was thinking.) This morning, she hadn't tried to change his mind after he explained his reasons for leaving. Yes, it hurt to abandon the one home he'd ever known. Of course it did. But he meant what he'd told her. He couldn't stand being given the cold shoulder by everyone again. And the idea that the elders might try to make him snap on purpose... it was too risky.

She understood, so what could she want now? Well, he thought as he flew there with Toothless, time to find out.

Like last time, when they arrived, his dragon left to play with her dragon. This time, though, she was lying down on the grass, staring at the sky. Silently, he lay next to her. Part of him wanted to take her hand, but he waited. He wanted to at least know why she'd called for him.

After a few moments, she pointed at the sky.

"Do you see that? That is Ratatosk. It's a squirrel."

Hiccup squinted. "Where?"

Her hand moved. "There's the head, the feet, the body, and of course, the tail."

Now that she'd pointed it out, he could see it. "Oh. Yeah."

"And over there are the deer, Dain, Dvalin, Duneyr and Durathor."

He shrugged. "The only group of stars I knew was Friggerock."

"Yeah, most people have no idea of this stuff. I know because my father taught me." She spoke slowly, softly. "When we were travelling by ship, and at night I was restless, we would find an empty spot on the deck. We would lie down, and he'd show me all that he knew. Stargazing was a favourite pastime of his. I think he found it relaxing. So do I."

Hiccup didn't speak. He wanted to know what she was driving at.

"For all those years", she continued, "he was there with me. When he died... I had sometimes felt lonely growing up, when he'd leave me behind to go find a target. But when he was gone for good... that was when I understood just how alone I really was. I had nobody in the whole world. I had no idea of what I was going to do, or how I was going to survive."

He was surprised she was speaking about this so freely. He wanted to comment, but he was afraid that doing so might put an end to her sharing mood. So he remained quiet.

"If you leave... that's what you're going to be facing, Hiccup. You're going to be alone. Just as alone as I was then. I know you have Toothless, and I know he'd protect you at all costs. But you can't have a conversation with him. In many places, you'll probably find you're better off hiding him."

Once again, he wanted to say something, but she sounded like she was getting to the point. She couldn't possibly think he would convince her with that argument. He'd already thought it through.

"You need to go with someone who's human. So..." She took a deep breath, and for the first time since their conversation had begun, turned her head to him. Hiccup was surprised to see her expression. It was shy, hesitant. He understood why when she finished her sentence. "I can go with you. If you want me to."

He stared at her, wide-eyed. Of all the things she could've said, he never would've expected _that_. If he was being honest with himself, he _had_ thought of going with someone, and she would've been great company... but he never would have asked her.

"You want to come? With me?"

"I mean, not if you don't want it. I-"

"No, it's not that", he cut her off. "It's just... why?"

"Why what? Why do I want to come?"

"Yeah. I never... never thought that you would want to leave... leave your life behind. I mean... you have tons of people who are loyal to you. You've built an empire here. I don't understand... why would you give that up? For me? I'd never ask you to do that."

Astrid smiled. "I know you wouldn't. I'm making this choice myself."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"I know." She sighed and looked back at the sky. "You're right, I _have_ built a life here. But... I don't feel at home, not in the way you do in Berk. Growing up, I never stayed in one place for long. I was always with my dad, so for me, home was made by the people around you, the people who loved you. And, in my mind, that notion never changed."

"But you do have people who love you here."

Astrid snorted. "I think 'love' is too strong a word. They like working for me, because I treat them fairly, and they know they have it way better than others who work for people like me. And that makes them loyal to me. But that's it. Yes, I do have a closer relationship with a few of them, but... even if I'm friendly with them, I can't consider them friends. It would make things difficult if one day I had to be tougher with them, whatever the reason."

It was hard to believe that she thought that way of her people. He never could've guessed it from the way she interacted with them, but he supposed it made sense. She was still their boss, after all, and needed to be respected.

"What about Heather?" What she was saying might be true for everyone else, but not for the brunette.

"She's different", Astrid admitted, "but you know what? She's the one who encouraged me to leave. She wants me to... be happy, in her words."

"Are you not happy right now?"

She shrugged. "I'm... fine, I guess. I'm not unhappy. But I've been happier, admittedly."

He wanted to continue questioning her, but she didn't give him the chance. It felt like she'd said more than she meant to.

"But, back to my question. You didn't answer it."

"I forgot what it was, to be honest."

"If you wanted me to come with you."

"Oh." He smiled at her. The prospect of leaving was less daunting if she was with him. Not only would he have someone to keep him company, but her skills would probably be useful when they reached unknown territories. "Of course I do, if you're willing to. Do you even have to ask?"

"Well, it's only polite. It's your plan, after all. I can't just barge in and tell you to count me in."

She turned her head and smiled back at him. On impulse, he reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear. He leaned a little closer, and she didn't withdraw.

"If you come with me", he started, a bit awkwardly, "then... what we talked about last night wouldn't apply anymore, would it? I mean... I-"

He was cut off by her lips pressing into his. The kiss was short, but sweet. When she pulled back, her smile was almost blinding.

"No", she said. "If we travel together, then we can try... this. Us."

"Then I'm sold", he half-joked.

She looked down at his chest, for some reason, and bit her lip like she was hesitating about something. Her eyes met his, and a second later, she scooted closer and turned so she was lying face up with her head resting on his chest and part of her torso on his. Hiccup was surprised at first, but then he wrapped his arms around her waist.

It was quiet for a few seconds.

"This is nice", Hiccup murmured.

"Yeah."

More quiet.

"Show me more stars." And as the words left his mouth, he knew they had more than one meaning.

* * *

 **A/N: A lot of people were mentioning how the first two chapters ended in sort of clffhangers... so here. Have a chapter with a fluffy ending. Also, see why you didn't have to kill me? It's going to be all right! :D I want Hiccstrid as much as you guys do!**

 **Also also, if anybody was wondering, the constellations mentioned are actual constellations the Vikings had (according to the Internet). And I hope that Hiccup's motivation for leaving is clear now.**


	4. The beginning of the end

**A/N: No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is a new chapter, two days after the last one xD I'm going away on holidays now (only until Monday though), and I started writing this and then I thought, what the hell. I'll be getting a break soon, so why not post now so I can go back to writing when I get back? :D**

* * *

Astrid felt like she was on a cloud as she walked back to her tent. So as to be more discreet, she'd told Hiccup to wait five minutes before coming back. She wasn't entirely sure that it would help prevent any rumours, but it didn't hurt. Plus, she didn't want to have to pretend that there was nothing between them, not after what had just happened.

She'd showed him all the groups of stars that she knew, and then for a while they'd remained there, in comfortable silence, until a voice in the back of Astrid's mind reminded her that she had things to do in the morning. Then she'd told him to wait and left, though not before kissing him goodnight. (Was it extremely cliché of her? Yes. Did she care? No.)

To think that, that afternoon, she'd been feeling so down over the fact that he was leaving and she wouldn't see him again for Thor knew how long... and now, she was actually going with him. Not only that, but they'd have a chance to try and be together. (She didn't dare use the word 'couple', not yet at least.)

Be that as it may, there were still a lot of things to be done before that could happen. First of all, they needed to capture Viggo. And once he was no longer a threat... she had a lot of things, or rather _people_ , to take care of. She'd always had a backup plan for each of her employees, in case something happened to her, but now it needed to be put into motion. They all had to be sent to new jobs, or retired in a few cases. Debts with some of her allies would have to be paid. Gold stashes across the archipelago would need to be retrieved and distributed among everyone. Just thinking about it helped ground her.

Yes, she could go find happiness. But she needed to deal with the mess she'd created first.

When she reached her tent, one of her guards told her that Heather was inside, waiting for her. Astrid suppressed a smile as she walked in.

"Impatient, aren't we?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah, we can talk about how gossipy I am later. But tell me, how did it go?"

Astrid let her smile break free, and it was all that Heather needed to know.

"You're going?" The brunette's smile was just as big as hers. "That's amazing!" She jumped up and hugged her. "I'm so happy for you."

"I know. I'm happy for me, too. Although I must say, I'll miss you."

Heather pulled back then to look at her. "Yeah, me too."

"Unless you want to tag along."

"And be a third wheel? Uh, no thanks. I'll find something else to do."

"Or some _one_ ", Astrid grinned. The other woman grinned back.

"Oh, that's for sure."

"But anyway, we have a lot of work to do before I can go. Starting with getting Viggo."

"Not tonight, though. I think you should go to sleep right now. Savour the feeling."

Astrid smiled. "You know what, I will."

"In that case, good night." Heather began to walk away, but then stopped. "Oh, by the way, I came here to see you because we got some news from the south, close to where Firestone island is."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Apparently, there was a huge war between two bands of smugglers, which ended up causing the volcano there to erupt. That, in turned, caused a series of earthquakes all around. The result is that the sea around that area will be closed off for a least a week while they repair the damage. So Viggo will have to take at least two weeks before he gets there."

"And that gives us more time to prepare ourselves", Astrid nodded. "That's great news!" Besides, they could get there by dragon, meaning they'd have a lot of time to devise a trap.

"It is. Anyway, I'm going now. Good night."

"Good night, Heather."

* * *

The next morning, Hiccup was woken up by shouting. He was so deep in sleep that it took him a few moments to understand what was happening. He had to catch up on a lot of sleep; after all, two nights ago, he hadn't got any rest. Last night, however, he'd been in such a great mood that he'd actually overslept today.

Just thinking about it lifted his spirits again. Not only was he not leaving alone, but he had a chance now, with Astrid. And not just to be with her, but also to try and bring out her good side. Once they were far from all this, he was sure he could do it. It would be hard, of course, but not impossible.

He was so caught up in his daydreaming that for a moment he failed to realise that the shouts he was hearing weren't normal. He threw on some clothes and rushed out of his tent to see what the commotion was all about.

A group of men, among which was Eret, were holding back another man. He was big and bald, with no other hair than a moustache on his face. He was trying to break free, but the others were too strong.

"What is going on?" asked a very familiar voice. A few people parted and Astrid came into view. She stared at the struggle in front of her, and raised her eyebrows when she saw the bald man. "Ryker", she smirked.

Hiccup had no idea of who the man was. An old enemy of hers, perhaps?

"Hofferson", he spat. "Of course. Should've known. You can torture me all you want. I'll never tell you anything."

Astrid snorted. "Like I need you to tell me anything. We're putting an end to your brother's operation, and I've long suspected that he plans to abandon everything he's done here and start again somewhere new."

His brother's operation? Was this man Viggo's brother? Hiccup felt sudden contempt for him.

"I must confess, though", Astrid continued, "I thought he would at least take _you_ with him." She turned to her men. "Which of you found him?"

"I did, Hofferson", Eret stepped forward. "I don't mean to brag", _yeah, right_ , Hiccup thought, "but I did sort of save his life. A bunch of pirates had him tied and were going to use him for archery practice. I thought you might have some use for him, so..."

"Well done, Eret. So", she turned back to Ryker, "not only did your brother leave you behind, he left you to be killed? That lets me know that he won't take anyone with him. He wants to go it alone. Well, that's all the better for me."

"You'll never find him", Ryker growled. " _I_ 'm not talking."

Astrid scoffed. "Because you have no idea of where he went. I'm not dumb. But _I_ know where he's going."

Ryker's eyes widened for a moment before he controlled his expression. "You're bluffing."

"Oh, I'm not. But even if I were, that makes no difference to you. You're not going back to him."

Then, to Hiccup's surprise, Astrid turned to him.

"You're the dragon expert here, Hiccup. What should we do? Should we send him to keep Dagur company?"

It took him a moment to recall Dagur's fate. Right, the Iron Fortress. The prison that, according to Astrid, was the most secure in the archipelago.

"Don't you think he might escape?"

"Nah. He's not smart enough. And even if he were... he's no Viggo. He doesn't have that ability to rally people to his cause."

Hiccup considered her words. If she was offering it, then she had to be completely certain of it. "Very well."

Astrid nodded at her men, and they carried Ryker away. He shouted curses at them, but nobody paid any attention to him.

"Well", she said loudly when he was gone, looking around, "this has been interesting, but now it's time for everyone to return to their duties." As she turned away, she caught his gaze and then made the tiniest gesture with her head towards her tent.

Understanding, he nodded, and started to follow her, when he felt like he was being watched. He looked around and realised that, in fact, a few of the people near them were giving him glances that went from confused to amused. So much for avoiding rumours, he thought.

Once he was inside the tent, he immediately asked what was on his mind. "What was _that_ all about?"

Astrid shrugged as she sat behind her desk. "I wanted to deal with him as quickly as possible. Plus, you _are_ the dragon expert."

"You realise people are going to talk, right?"

"I haven't given them more than what they already suspect. It's not the same as... last night." As she said the words, she smiled. "But that's not why I called you here."

"Oh, what is it then?"

"Several things, actually. First of all, I think you may have surmised this, but I'd rather we kept... this, you and me, a secret while we're still here. It's not that I'm embarrassed or anything, but I don't want anyone to have any certainty. Viggo already went after you once because of some obscure information. I won't risk that happening again."

"Fair enough." From the moment that she asked him to wait before leaving the previous night, he'd figured she wanted to keep their relationship secret. Her logic was sound. "What else?"

"Last night I got word that we have more time to catch Viggo. It'll take him at least two weeks to get to Firestone Island, and with what just happened, I'm confident he's got nobody helping him. Well, nobody we can't bribe, anyway."

"Okay. So does that mean we leave now, or...?"

"On the contrary. I think we can do this one on our own, without help from my people. So... we won't be leaving just yet. I'll organise my things. I need to give everyone new jobs, pay some people, and other stuff. That'll take me at least a week, which I now know I can take."

"All right, so what do I do in the meantime?"

"I was thinking... maybe you should go say goodbye to your parents."

Oh. He hadn't thought about that. Had tried to avoid thinking about it, actually. How was he supposed to tell his father that he was leaving permanently? He'd be heartbroken, and try to convince him to stay.

The idea was painful, but not seeing him again was even worse.

"Wait. Parents?" He hadn't thought about Valka in a while, not with everything that had happened, but Astrid was right. The least he could do was go visit her one more time.

"Yeah, I think Valka would like to see you." He nodded. "And by the way... it doesn't have to be goodbye forever, Hiccup. I know we're leaving, but we can come back to visit."

"Even if we're very far away?"

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "Just how far do you plan to go? Do you want us to reach the end of the world?"

"No, but I was hoping to get somewhere nobody has heard of either of us. Somewhere we can start anew."

The blonde's gaze was lost for a moment. "That would be nice", she murmured, and he wasn't sure he was supposed to hear it. Then she spoke louder. "Anyway, that's all. I'll let you know when we're ready to leave."

"Okay." He hesitated. "So, um, will I see you around or..."

Her smile was much softer this time. It did things to his stomach. "I'll send you a message. Don't think that just because I'll be busy, I won't find time for you. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

He smiled back. "Wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

Valka watched the dragons playing around with a smile. This was her home, and she felt like one of them, even if she was a human. She felt welcome in a way she never had in Berk. It was the main reason she hadn't gone back, even though she knew her husband and her son probably missed her. She missed them too, truth be told, but she found herself unable to go back to that atmosphere of constant war and hate. And now that she had proof that dragons weren't evil creatures, she couldn't possibly return.

At least, those had been her thoughts the past twenty years. She told herself that Hiccup couldn't really miss her because he was too young and wouldn't remember her. And Stoick... well, he was the chief. He could always find some young maiden to take as a wife, a woman who would bear him more children and who wouldn't get in his way when he tried to kill a dragon. Her feelings hadn't changed even when she got proof that not everyone was that way.

When she first saw that blonde riding a dragon and attacking the Hunters, Valka was initially suspicious. Maybe this was a trick. But then Astrid had presented herself and explained how she too was in favour of protecting dragons. For a few months, she'd helped her in raids, even brought injured dragons sometimes. And while the young woman showed Valka that it was possible for others to care for dragons, she wasn't from Berk, so the elder woman's mindset stayed the same.

But then she showed up with Valka's son, of all people. And he had turned out to be just like her. Incapable of killing a dragon, and he'd been ostracised for it. Not only that, but Stoick hadn't remarried at all and kept the memory of her close. Initially, she'd felt a strong surge of guilt. If she had come back, Hiccup wouldn't have been so alone. Stoick wouldn't have been so sad. However, would they have listened to her, if she'd told them the truth about dragons? Considering what Hiccup had had to do, the answer was probably no. And she assuaged her conscience with those words.

Afterwards, she didn't have a lot of time to consider her feelings, because Astrid dragged her into the ploy to show that Hiccup hadn't committed a crime. She'd told her in a letter that everything had worked out, that her son was free, and thanked her for her cooperation. She hadn't heard any more since, although she was certain that, if she sent a letter, she'd get an answer.

There was something else bothering her: had Hiccup told Stoick that she was still alive? They'd never discussed it, and if there was one thing she was sure of, was that she didn't want him to know. She knew it was extremely selfish of her, knowing she could end his suffering, but she felt incapable of facing her husband after twenty years. Meeting Hiccup had gone better than she could've expected, but it was different; he hadn't known her as well, and he understood her point of view. Stoick, on the other hand... She knew that Hiccup had told her how he'd shown everyone that dragons weren't dangerous, but that didn't make her feel better. Her husband was still an intimidating man.

At this point, she was thinking that Hiccup had kept her secret, for whatever reason. Stoick hadn't come barging, and he'd had plenty of time to do so, so she could only assume that he didn't know.

So lost in thoughts was she, that she didn't hear the Night Fury approaching until he was landing right next to her.

"Hiccup!" she exclaimed, delighted. Her son got off his dragon and stepped forward to hug her.

"Hey, mum."

"It's been a while. To what do I owe this visit?" Not that she was complaining, but he hadn't shown up for some time. Toothless came up to her and greeted her, too.

"I'm... here to say goodbye, actually. I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Valka frowned.

"Leaving the archipelago."

 _That_ she hadn't expected. "Why? I heard that you got released."

"Yeah, I did. But... well, some more things happened, due to which I really can't be in Berk anymore."

Valka eyed him. "All right, let's find a quiet place and talk."

They walked at a leisurely pace to a waterfall, and while they did, many dragons came up to Hiccup. Some sniffed him and walked away, while others came up to him and practically demanded to be petted. He complied easily, and Valka was once again marvelled by how much like her he was.

Once they sat down, Hiccup explained the whole story of what happened in Berk and how people there didn't trust him anymore. He also told her some of the things he'd done during his time as a wanted man, like dropping someone to his death. It was clear that he was still struggling a bit with those feelings, but she didn't feel like the right person to comfort him.

Then he explained his reasons for leaving, and Valka felt that his arguments made sense.

"Have you told your father yet?"

Hiccup sighed. "No. I kind of... left him for last. It won't be easy."

"No", she agreed. "He won't be happy that his only son is going away."

"It's not just that." He seemed uncomfortable.

"Then what is it?"

He watched her carefully when he spoke. "I'm leaving with Astrid."

Valka waited for him to say something else, something shocking that would explain why he seemed so wary. When he didn't, she piped, "And?"

He frowned. "You're not... upset?"

"Why would I be?" Her feelings towards the blonde were rather ambivalent. She had been told bad things about her, but the only side of her she'd seen was when she was helping dragons. And, from their brief conversations, she seemed to have a clear sense of right and wrong. Maybe there were better people to accompany his son, yes. But it could be much worse.

"You don't think going with her is a mistake?"

"No, I don't. From what I saw of you two, you make a good team." She noticed him blushing slightly. "Or is it something... more?"

"I, uh... yeah, sort of. It's... a recent development, to be honest."

Maybe Astrid wasn't the best person, but she clearly cared about Hiccup. Hel, she'd moved Valhalla and Midgard to clear his name. In the end, that was what was important.

"Well then, I'm happy for you, son."

He smiled. "Thanks."

Still, there was more to this. His reaction made no sense to her.

"Why did you think I'd be upset?"

"Because I know Dad will be. He hates Astrid."

That surprised her. "Why?"

"Basically, because he thinks she corrupted me. From the beginning, he thought she wanted to use me, and never trusted her, even when she saved my life."

"Well, you know your father. Once he gets an idea in his head, it's practically impossible to change his mind."

"Yeah, I guess so." He rolled his shoulders. "So you're okay with this?"

Valka smiled. "You're twenty years old, and I wasn't there for most of that time. I don't think I have the right to tell you what to do. You can make your own decisions. Promise me that you'll write, though."

Hiccup smiled. "I will. And, if we're not too far away, I'll visit."

"That would be nice."

He stayed a while longer, playing with the dragons. Eventually, though, it was time for him to leave.

"I still need to go to Berk. And that conversation will take a while."

"Speaking of which... Hiccup, have you told your father that I'm here?"

"No." He looked uncertain. "I wasn't sure, but it felt like it wasn't my secret to tell. Like maybe you wouldn't want me to."

Valka breathed a sigh of relief. She knew she was being a coward, but she couldn't help it. "Good. That was the right call."

"Are... are you going to tell him?"

She didn't want to lie to him. "I don't know." If she had her way, no, but she never knew. Maybe one day she'd find that the secret weighed on her too much.

Hiccup nodded. "I thought so. I can't tell you what to do, but... Dad misses you a lot. He'd love to see you."

"I know, son. I just... don't know if _I'm_ ready to see him."

"Fair enough."

They hugged for a long time.

"I'll miss you, Mum."

"And I'll miss you, Hiccup." As he got on Toothless, she spoke again. "Good luck out there. I hope you find what you're looking for."

"Thanks, Mum. So do I."

As Toothless disappeared into the afternoon, she hoped that, at least, he'd able to find peace for himself.

* * *

 **A/N: Like I said, next chapter will take longer, because I won't get to start it until Monday. Also, I'm not looking forward to writing that goodbye between Stoick and Hiccup D:**


	5. Partings

Stoick stood impatiently on the cliff, waiting. In one hand he was still clutching the note that Hiccup had sent him, telling him where he'd be and when. He was unsure of why they had to meet in secret, but he hoped that he had a good explanation.

He hoped that he was coming to tell him he was returning home.

It had been less than two weeks since the last time he'd seen him, yet Stoick missed his son terribly. Going back home at the end of the day, only to find it completely silent and devoid of life, gave him an empty feeling that he hated. Admittedly, while Hiccup grew up, he'd come home many times to an empty hut, but that was different. If Hiccup was gone, then he was either at the forge, or out in the forest exploring. He knew that he could find him. Now, he had no idea of when he'd be back.

He'd told the village that his son was away at a trip. He hadn't gone into further details; after all, last time he'd said pretty much the same, and they now knew he hadn't told them the truth. He'd admitted what had really happened, once Hiccup was released, but he'd emphasized the fact that his son had been innocent and it had been proven. Yet it wasn't enough to assuage people's fears. They had seen what he had done here, and there was no releasing him of that. And the elders' constant murmuring didn't help matters at all.

A whistling sound broke him out of his thoughts. A Night Fury coming. Even as it landed, Stoick didn't try to stop the smile that split his face. He was glad to see that Hiccup appeared relatively fine. His son smiled back when he saw him.

"Hiccup!" He stepped forward and enveloped him in a hug. "I missed you, son."

"Missed you too, Dad", he answered.

Stoick dropped him and turned to Toothless. "Glad to see you took care of him." The dragon looked offended at the insinuation that he might've let something happen to him. "So", he said, turning back to Hiccup, "what is it? Are you coming back?"

Hiccup's face turned sorrowful. "No, Dad. In fact, I'm leaving."

For a moment, his words didn't fully register. Then they did, but he felt like he still didn't understand. "What do you mean, leaving?"

"I'm leaving the archipelago."

Again, it took a moment for the words to make sense. This time, when they did, they felt like a punch to the gut. Leave the _archipelago_? He couldn't possibly be serious, could he?

He must have said this out loud, because Hiccup spoke. "Yes, Dad. I'm very serious."

He didn't know what to say, where to begin. At last he started with, "Why?"

Hiccup sighed. "Because I can't stay where I'm not wanted."

Stoick bristled. "You're not talking about Berk, are you?"

"Dad, you've been here all this time. I haven't, but I can imagine what it was like. Everyone talking about me, about how I'm dangerous and I can't be trusted... I bet the elders were spreading fear, too, weren't they?"

He didn't answer immediately. He supposed he shouldn't have been so surprised that Hiccup would know exactly what was going on. He'd lived his whole life here, after all.

Up until now, which he apparently wanted to change. "They just want power, son. You know that as well as I do."

"Yeah, but they're extremely good at manipulating the rest of the village. They've probably done a great job of brainwashing them. And I can't fight that. I don't _want_ to have to fight that. To meet opposition at every turn. Hel, if I were to stay here, they'd probably vote against me being the next heir."

"Hiccup..." The emotions were starting to grow inside him (mostly fear of his son leaving) and it was hard to come up with a convincing argument other than 'you have to stay'. "You can't let a group of old men decide your future. You have a say in it."

"I know I do. And this is what I'm choosing. I have to take charge for my actions, Dad. I never wanted to... threaten you, but I did. And now I'm suffering the consequences. I must deal with them."

"By running away?" He hoped that hurting his pride might work, but it didn't do anything.

"By accepting that I can be dangerous, and acting accordingly. And..." he took a deep breath and looked at him sorrowfully. "By being exiled."

At first he didn't understand what Hiccup was saying. When he did, he gasped. "No. Hiccup, no."

"Yes, Dad. It's the only way."

"I can't banish my only son. You can't ask me to."

"You have to. That way, your credibility within the village will be restored, and you can choose your own heir, instead of just having it be Snotlout by default. Unless you want him, of course."

"I..."

"Am I wrong to think that people are whispering about you, too? That your judgement is unreliable? It would be convenient for the elders to say those things, wouldn't it? That way, their power is greater than yours."

His son's logic was indisputable, but that didn't make it any easier. Clearly, he understood the workings of the council well, and he had thought this through.

If only the heart could be persuaded by logic.

"Hiccup, everything you're saying makes sense. I understand. But... I can't bear the thought of you leaving. You're the only thing I have left, son."

Sadness appeared in his son's face, mixed with... was that guilt? Maybe because he was leaving him alone.

Alone. He would be completely alone.

"I know, Dad. I wouldn't do this if there was any other way. But I've given it a lot of thought, and there isn't any."

Stoick inhaled shakily as the idea began to sink in. "I'm going to miss you, Hiccup."

"I'll miss you too, Dad. I'm not leaving forever, though. I do plan to come back to visit."

Well, that was a small consolation.

"When?"

"Eventually. When we've settled down."

The comment didn't go unnoticed. "We?"

Hiccup shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, um... I'm leaving with Astrid. She offered to come with me, and I accepted."

"So this was her idea." Suddenly, everything made sense, and anger began to rise within him. Slowly, she'd been taking his son from him, and this was the culmination of her plan. Before he could continue, though, Hiccup cut him off.

"No, Dad. She had nothing to do with this. She was just as surprised as you are, and tried to convince me to stay home, too. It was only after I told her that she made up her mind to come. I would've never asked her to leave her life behind."

So Hofferson had wanted him to stay? Maybe she found him easier to control if he was nearby, he thought... but then the rest of the sentence sunk in. "Leave her life behind?"

Hiccup nodded. "She's dismantling her operation as we speak. Sending everyone home."

"Why?"

"Because she wants this part of her life to be completely over." He looked at him pleadingly. "She's not a bad person, Dad, she's just made a lot of bad choices. I hope some day you can see that. But in the meantime..." He rolled his shoulders. "We're leaving." He looked at the sky. "I should get back."

That sentence immediately buried Stoick's anger and replaced it with the grief that was starting to mount inside him. "Are you coming back when you leave definitively?"

"No, I don't think I will. This was hard enough."

Stoick couldn't help but agree. "Take care, Hiccup." He stepped forward and hugged him again, this time longer. "I love you."

"I love you too, Dad."

Eventually, he had to let him go. Allowing him to climb on Toothless without taking hold of his wrist or something was one of the hardest things he'd ever done.

Hiccup looked at him. "Goodbye, Dad. Don't forget what I told you to do."

Stoick barely nodded. "Goodbye, Hiccup."

As Toothless climbed and became smaller and smaller, Stoick felt the tears welling up inside his eyes. Normally, he would've suppressed them, but he was hidden from view and nobody would know that the chief had been crying. So for a while, he abandoned himself to his agony, and sobbed until he could scarcely breathe.

When his tears dried out, he got up, squared his shoulders, and walked towards the village. Even if he felt like there was a knife embedded in his heart, to be a chief meant to hide your emotions. To pretend like everything was fine, even if it wasn't.

And for what he was going to do now, he'd have to do a Hel of a job at it.

Unknown to him, in the sky, Hiccup also shed a few tears for his lost home.

* * *

"Now, remember, Einar, Valka isn't used to humans, so try not to be too loud or speak too much. I think she already likes you, so that's a good start, but don't push it. She's been living among dragons for many years, so she's bound to be a bit strange."

"Yes, ma'am."

Astrid smiled and patted him on the back. "Good luck, Einar."

"Thank you, ma'am." As he climbed on Glutton, he added, "You too."

And then he was off.

Astrid turned around, looking at what had once been a huge camp. Only two tents remained now: hers and Heather's, who'd stayed with her the longest. The others had already departed, one by one, with Einar being the last. She hadn't actually been sure of where to send him, but luckily Valka had accepted her request to have him as a helper. She hoped it'd work out for him; dragons were his thing, after all.

Gerd, her blacksmith, had been the first one to go. He was the oldest of them all, and deserved to have a break at last. She'd sent him home with a bag containing enough gold for him to live out his days comfortably. After that first departure, everyone had been confused, so she'd decided to address her people, telling them that her operation was coming to an end, and it had been a pleasure to work with them all. This declaration was met with dismay in many cases, as well as confusion as to what had caused her to reach such a decision.

She hadn't explained, and nobody had asked, but she'd heard the rumours in the following days. Of course, everyone correctly deduced that it was related to Hiccup; she didn't work with idiots, after all. However, she stood by what she had said: she'd rather leave them rumours than certainties.

Over the days, the amount of people in the camp had slowly been reduced, as transactions were made for the last time and employees were sent away. Some, the oldest ones, she sent into retirement; for others, she'd fixed up jobs a long time ago. In some cases, they would work with her allies, while in others, they were going to do more honest work. She made sure that everyone would have something suited to them.

After her dealers were gone, the guards were next. With so many people away, they were less necessary. Then came the healer, the cooks, and other house workers. Eret was one of the last to leave, thanking her for everything, including letting him keep his job at times when other bosses wouldn't have been so understanding. At last, only Heather, Einar and herself were left. Hiccup was gone, to say goodbye to his parents, and she'd asked him not to return for a few days. If people saw that everyone was leaving and he was not, it'd be like confirming their suspicions.

All of her gold stashes across the archipelago had been dug up as well. First of all, she'd paid every last remaining debt she'd had. Then she'd distributed it among her people, making sure that those who would be in a more precarious situation got more. At the end, there wasn't much left, but she planned to leave it all for Heather. She didn't want to take any of it; if she wanted to leave this life behind, then it had to mean every aspect of it.

It was a strange sensation, to take apart everything that she'd done. A small part of her felt saddened, mostly because it was something that had taken a lot of time and effort to build. But the rest of her was certain that something much better, much more _fulfilling_ , was coming.

A chirp from Stormfly brought her back to reality. Her dragon was happy to spend a lot of time with her rider. Normally, when the camp was crowded, the poor Nadder had to be kept in the stables because too many people were afraid of her, and Astrid didn't want to cause a panic. She hated it, but tried to make up for it by going on flights with her as often as she could. Now, though, there was nobody who scared of her, so she could roam freely.

Astrid smiled and scratched her. "It's almost done, girl. We'll be free. Well, you're already free, I guess."

The noise of a Night Fury flying made her look up. Stormfly chirped again; she'd missed Toothless.

"Well", came Heather's voice, "I guess that's my cue." She began taking down her tent, putting it away in a bag. Astrid turned to Toothless and his rider as they landed.

"Hey", he smiled, but it was just a bit strained. She understood; saying goodbye to his parents, especially his father, must've been extremely difficult.

"Hey", she answered. "How was it?"

He shrugged. "With Mum, it was fine. With Dad..."

Astrid nodded. "Yeah, I can imagine. Did he accept your suggestion?" When he'd told her his idea, she could tell just how much it pained him, but she agreed with his logic. He just wanted to protect his father. It was perfectly reasonable.

"Not very willingly, but I think he did. I hope so."

"Well then", Heather spoke again, and they both turned to her. "I think it's time for me to go."

Astrid nodded stiffly. Of all the goodbyes she'd said, this one would be by far the hardest. If there was one person that she was going to miss a lot, that was Heather. She was the first friend she'd made after everything that had happened to her. "Where are you going?"

She shrugged. "I'll see. I haven't decided yet."

"I'll miss you." She hugged the brunette and clenched her jaw. Part of her wanted to cry, but she was so used to keeping her emotions down that she really couldn't do it.

"I'll miss you too, Astrid." She pulled back. "Good luck out there. I hope you find happiness. You deserve it." She turned to Hiccup. "Break her heart, and I'll come for you."

Hiccup smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it", he answered, and though it was silly, her heart seemed to beat just a tiny bit faster for a second.

Heather nodded and then hugged him as well. Hiccup looked surprised before hugging her back.

"Look after her", she said in a whisper that Astrid heard perfectly.

"I will."

Heather stepped back and smiled at them both. "Goodbye, guys. I'll keep in touch." She climbed on Windshear and took off. Hiccup and Astrid watched them until they disappeared into the sky.

Hiccup took her hand. "I'm sorry you're losing your best friend."

"Don't worry. Heather's a free spirit. I'd never ask her to come tie herself down with us."

She turned to him and smiled. "Plus, I want some alone time with you", she added as she stood on her tiptoes and threw her arms over his shoulders.

"Yeah", Hiccup laughed as he pulled her closer by the waist, "it'd be kind of rude to send her away all the time."

Then they were kissing, and Astrid forgot the sadness as she remembered what she was trading everything for. They only broke apart when Toothless grumbled impatiently.

"Okay, okay, we're going", Astrid laughed.

"Do you have everything?"

"Pretty much."

They took down her tent, packed it with the rest of her belongings, and then they were on their dragons. As Toothless and Stormfly raised, she looked down at the island. The place itself didn't really matter, but it was a symbol, in a way. A symbol of everything that she, that _they_ were leaving behind.

"Are you okay?" Hiccup asked her, ever the observant one. She smiled.

"Yeah. Are _you_ okay?"

"Not so much. But I will be. I know that." His smile wasn't as wide, but she understood. Knowing you might not see your father again left a mark in you.

The trip took a few days. In that time, something like optimism grew up in Astrid's mind. Being able to spend time with Hiccup without having to hide was something amazing. They slept in remote islands, in her tent, which was more than big enough for two people. Toothless and Stormfly would run around, playing, while they talked or... not.

Eventually, they reached Firestone Island. Like they'd heard, the place was a mess. As they reminded their dragons to remain hidden, Astrid felt like she was flashing back to all the times they'd done this before. It was the same, and yet it wasn't. They wouldn't return to their normal lives after this.

According to what she knew, Viggo should be arriving this afternoon. They waited in the dock, and when the ship arrived, they stayed a distance away, watching everyone who got off. When she didn't see him, she didn't immediately worry. Maybe he had a reason to stay on board. As time went by, though, it became clear that they'd have to go looking for him themselves.

They waited until nightfall to sneak on the ship and go around. Although she tried to suppress it, she began to feel despair. Had he found out about them somehow and left?

She approached one of the sailors, casually, as though she belonged there, and Hiccup followed her lead. "Hey", she said, "have you seen Viggo? We need to talk to him."

The man looked at them strangely. "Viggo got off days ago. Didn't you hear? He said he was tired of waiting and instead took a ship to Whores' Port."

"Oh. Well then. Thank you."

As they walked off the ship, Hiccup snorted. "Whores' Port? That's an actual place?"

Astrid smiled. "Yeah, and it lives up to its name, from what I've heard." Eret had told quite a few stories. "I guess Viggo decided to take a break before starting business again. I don't recall any women in his army, after all." Which was a good thing, because while she was fairly sure that Viggo was above rape, she wouldn't say the same for many of his men.

"So we go there now?"

"Yeah, but not _right_ now. The dragons are tired, and there's no place to _sleep_ on Whores' Port. Let's just stay here for the night. I know a great inn." The owner owed her, and while she hated to take advantage of that, she also didn't have a lot of gold on her, and she'd rather save it in case she needed it in their quest to find Viggo.

They had just settled in their room when there was a knock at the door. Astrid opened it to find a maid.

"Miss Hofferson?" she asked.

"Yes, that's me."

"This is for you."

Astrid took it. It was a small chest, but fairly heavy. She wondered what it contained. "Uh, who is this from?"

"Your dark-haired friend left it a few days ago, and gave us instructions to give it to you when you came here."

So Heather had been here. She must've known that she'd choose this inn. "Thank you."

She closed the door and went to sit on the bed.

"What's that?" Hiccup asked, sitting down next to her and staring at the chest.

"No idea."

She didn't know what she expected, but when she opened it to find precious stones inside, somehow she wasn't surprised. There was also a letter. She opened it and they both read it.

 _Dear Astrid,_

 _I know you didn't want to take any gold obtained through illegal means. So every one of us took some of the gold we had saved from before working with you. We knew that it might be too heavy to carry, so we traded it in for these stones. They should be enough to help out for a few months, until you figure out a way to provide for yourselves._

 _We all love you and wish you luck in your journey. (But especially me.)_

 _Heather (and everyone else)_

Astrid felt a bump in her throat as she swallowed. This was a _lot_. She couldn't imagine the effort it must've taken to organise this behind her back. "You guys..." she whispered.

Hiccup laughed briefly. "Still think they didn't love you?"

She smiled up at him. "I don't think I've ever been happier to be wrong."


	6. Another one bites the dust

**A/N: I'd like to let y'all know that this chapter was ready to be posted yesterday afternoon, but the site was acting up and not letting me upload anything. So if it seems like the next chapter comes out quickly, it's because I already took a break today (while trying to upload).**

* * *

The following morning, they got up early and left. Their dragons greeted them enthusiastically, having had to spend the night so far from them. As they were flying, something came to Astrid's mind that she realised she should warn Hiccup about.

"Hey", she said, and he turned to her. "When we get there... well, like I said, that island's name is well earned."

"So?"

"I've worked with whores a few times before. And they love to make men blush." She smiled. "Especially guys like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Guys without a lot of experience."

His expression cleared. "Oh."

"Yeah. And I know well how easily you get flustered when the topic of sex comes up. So... try not to blush too much. Because they'll just find it hilarious and embarrass you even more."

"Great", he deadpanned. "But do you really think we'll spend a lot of time in a..."

"Brothel?" She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe we'll find out Viggo is already gone and we won't even go past the docks. But I thought I should warn you."

"Okay. Thanks. I'll, um, try to control myself."

Astrid grinned and didn't say anything. She was certain that he'd find himself going as red as his hair anyway.

Late in the afternoon, when the sun was setting, they reached the island. They landed in a forest, hiding the dragons, and then walked into town.

"So, do we start with the docks?" Hiccup asked, and she nodded.

"The first thing we need to know is whether Viggo is still here."

As they walked along the road, more than a few women threw suggestive glances at Hiccup. He pretended not to notice, but she could see how stiff and uncomfortable he felt. She should probably do something about it, she thought. Taking his hand felt too possessive, so she settled for glaring at anyone who dared look at him lewdly. The message in her eyes was clear and every woman understood: _he's mine. Back off._

Eventually, they reached the port.

"Do we just ask around?" Hiccup questioned, and she shook her head.

"If there are records, then those will show us." She tapped a sailor in the shoulder, who turned and gave her a strange look. "Excuse me", she said, giving him her best smile, "do you know where the records are?"

"Everyone knows where the records _are_ ", he stated. "With Andvett. But he doesn't let anyone see them. He keeps the order around here, and doesn't like anyone messing with it."

"Oh", she said, nodding. "I understand. Thank you."

As they walked away, Hiccup commented, "He keeps the order."

"Yeah. I see you caught that."

"So should we disturb that order?"

Astrid grinned. "You read my mind. But we have to be sneaky about it." She looked around until she saw a bunch of barrels tied at the very edge of one of the docks. One of them was loose enough that she could walk by and make it fall to the other side. And she knew, by Eret's tales, that the men who used this port tended to be quite temperamental.

She took her dagger out but kept it hidden in her hand. As she walked past the barrel, she discreetly cut the rope, sending it crashing into another man's boat.

"Oi!" a sailor that was there shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm not doing anything!" the barrel's owner answered.

"Sure you are!" The two men went towards each other. It didn't take them long to go from insults to fists. And soon enough there was a free-for-all brawl. Astrid went back to Hiccup, who looked incredulous.

"All that for one barrel?"

"Men who get violent easily tend to scare women away. That's why they need to get whores", she told him as they walked away.

"I suppose that makes sense."

A few minutes later, from a hut nearby, a big, burly man came out. "What's the meaning of all this?" he asked in a booming voice as he saw the brawl. "Bloody bastards", he cursed, and ran towards it.

Astrid and Hiccup made sure nobody was watching before getting inside the hut. The book with the records was right there on the desk.

"Okay. Let's see..." She skimmed the page until she saw Captain Bravesword's name. "There! The ship was here two days ago. Only one passenger got off. A certain Thorvald Onundsson."

"A new name for Viggo?"

"Most likely. I guess he wants to start over completely." She continued scanning the page and smiled. "No record of him leaving. So he's still here."

"Or he left through other means", Hiccup pointed out, but she shook her head.

"The port is watched at all times, and the rest of the island has huge cliffs. No other way to leave in a ship."

"Oh, okay. So now we ask around?"

"Well..." She looked through the window to see the stars. "It's night. A man like Viggo probably thinks that's the best time to go to a brothel. So I think we should start there."

"But there are a lot of brothels in this island. How do we know which one he went to?"

"He wouldn't go to one of the cheapest ones; he's too proud for that."

"But going to one of the most expensive ones might attract too much attention", Hiccup continued.

"Good point." She looked him up and down thoughtfully, then smiled. She felt a bit guilty about doing this to him, but it was the best way to be certain.

"What?"

"Come." They left the hut and walked down the street. They stopped in front of an old man who was sitting on a log, smoking.

"Excuse me", she said, and he looked at her. She smiled and pointed at Hiccup. "We're looking for a place for him." Hiccup's eyes widened for a second before he managed to control his expression. He clearly hadn't been expecting that.

The man nodded. "First time?"

"Yeah, so nothing out of the ordinary. A girl who's gentle. No tying him down or anything."

"I see." He regarded Hiccup long and carefully, stroking his beard. At last he blew his pipe and then spoke again. "I'd say the Blue Lady would work for you. Go straight down the street and at the first corner, take a left."

"Thanks!" She took Hiccup's wrist, because he still seemed a bit confused, and walked away. As they got out of the reach of the old man's ear, he whirled on her.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that?!" he exclaimed. She chuckled.

"Sorry. I wanted to see your face."

"Still, you could've warned me. I might've ruined the charade."

"Nah, you wouldn't have."

He wasn't mad, but he wasn't happy, either. She took his hands between hers.

"I'm sorry", she said, as sincerely as she could. "I should've told you."

"Yeah, you should have." He smiled, and she knew she was forgiven. "Please don't do something like that when we get in."

"I won't. It wouldn't work anyway, because they wouldn't let me go in with you. And I'm not leaving you alone with Viggo."

They found the brothel easily and went in. There were a couple of women sitting around, and one behind a desk. They all looked at them as they walked in, and Astrid could see a few murmuring among themselves, eyeing Hiccup.

"Hello", the woman in the desk smiled. "How can I help you?"

Hiccup spoke before she could. "My sister's promised is in here", he explained. "The arrangement between the families was made long ago, and she can't wait long before she gets married, if you get my meaning. We have to find him."

The woman nodded sagely. Astrid was surprised at first, but then realised this was Hiccup's way of showing her what he had felt like, back with the old man. A harmless way of getting back at her. Still, she'd long ago learned to go with the flow.

"What's his name?"

"Thorvald", she said.

"Thorvald... Thorvald..." The woman scanned her book. "Here. Room ten, on the first floor."

"Thank you", Astrid smiled, and she and Hiccup disappeared up the stairs. As they did, she snorted. "Engaged to Viggo. Now _that_ would be a nightmare." She smiled at him. "Nice cover-up, though."

"Thanks. I'm rather proud of it myself."

They found the room, and could already hear the pleasurable sounds coming from inside. "We'd better wait here", Astrid said in a low voice. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to know what Viggo looks like naked."

"Neither do I." He shuddered.

After a while, the sounds stopped and were replaced with the rustling of clothes being put on.

"Okay", she whispered, "I think it's time. Are you ready?" He nodded and drew Inferno from his leg. Astrid had left her axe with Stormfly so as not to scare anyone, so she got her dagger.

She took a deep breath, and then kicked the door open.

The scene that greeted her was exactly what she had been expecting. Viggo didn't have a shirt on, but mercifully he'd already put on his pants. The dark-haired woman on the bed, on the other hand, was still naked, and pulled the covers over herself when they entered.

"Who are you? What are you doing?!"

"Be quiet", Astrid spoke, eyes on Viggo. "And you may want to get under those covers completely. You don't want to see this."

She heard Hiccup close the door behind him, and Viggo smiled.

"Well, I suppose you're not here to take me peacefully, are you?" he asked, reaching for his pocket and producing a dagger similar to Astrid's.

"You wish."

She analysed the situation. Viggo was expecting a frontal attack, and he'd be ready to dodge her. She wasn't used to fighting with a dagger, and she wasn't sure if she could hold her own against him. She didn't think he was much of a skilled fighter, but obviously he had to know how to defend himself. Hiccup was the one with the advantage here, since his weapon was longer and on fire. However, she couldn't just send him to fight a battle that was hers. Even if he held a grudge against the Hunter, too.

She took too long to think about it, because suddenly Viggo was jumping forward, dagger pointing towards her. She reflexively jumped out of the way... and then he turned to the bed and dragged the poor woman out of it, placing the dagger against her throat.

"One move", he smirked, "from either of you, and this poor, innocent whore who has nothing to do with this will die."

Astrid and Hiccup looked at each other despairingly, then back at him. Before they could say anything, though, the brunette folded her arm and elbowed him in the gut. The unexpected hit was enough for him to let her go, and she quickly jumped over the bed to get away. At the same time, Astrid lunged forward and stabbed the hand which held the dagger. When he dropped his arm in pain, she took the chance to stab him in the chest, right where she knew his heart was.

Viggo gasped, and then slowly crumbled to the ground. Astrid stepped back and felt Hiccup's hand on her shoulder. She grabbed it with her free one.

Viggo opened his mouth, trying to speak, but only blood came out. "C... curse you", he managed, before choking.

Then his coughing stopped, and he was still.

Everything was quiet for a few seconds.

"He's dead", Hiccup said solemnly. Astrid nodded.

"Finally."

A throat cleared behind them. "Excuse me, but who was he and who are you?"

They both turned to the brunette, who was standing completely naked. She saw Hiccup avert his eyes and smiled.

"First of all, can you put on something?" At the woman's questioning face, she gestured towards Hiccup. "He isn't very comfortable with naked people."

The brunette rolled her eyes, but turned around and rummaged through a closet. After a moment, she pulled out a dress and quickly put it on.

"Done. So?"

"Oh, he's an old enemy of both of us", Astrid explained.

Hiccup, who had turned around again, nodded. "He even framed me for a crime and had everyone going after me", he explained. "But more importantly, he attacked... a tribe that we are close friends with." Astrid hid a smile at how he covertly talked about the dragons.

The woman contemplated the corpse, seemingly not very perturbed. This may not be the first time something like this happened, Astrid realised. After all, she'd defended herself. She was probably prepared in case things got messy.

"Well", she said, "at any rate, I don't appreciate a man who takes his whore as a hostage. So good riddance, I say."

"True. Now, as for the body-"

"I can take care of that", she interrupted. "Won't be the first time."

Astrid nodded uncomfortably. She didn't like the idea of leaving her mess for someone else to clean up, but it was true that she didn't have the means to easily get rid of Viggo's body. She noticed a rag hanging from the bed, and used it to clean her bloodied hand as she spoke.

"In that case, we'll be going."

"Your friend can go", she said, nodding at Hiccup. "I'd like to have a word with you, if you don't mind."

Astrid and Hiccup exchanged a confused look. "Go on", she said. "I'll be there shortly."

He nodded and disappeared through the door. She'd have to talk to him later, make sure that he was all right, but for now she turned to the other woman, leaving the rag and putting the dagger away. "So, what is it?"

"I'd like to help you, as a way of thanks. I take it that guy has never slept with a woman, considering the way he reacted to me."

"Not that I know of."

"And I guess that you plan to change that."

She shifted. "Some day." She had tried not to think too much about it, really, because she knew Hiccup had very little experience with women, even less with sex, but... they were travelling together know. That meant having a lot more time alone, and secluded. A lot more time where nobody would interrupt them. However, she didn't want to push him to do anything he didn't want to do. She wanted to wait for him to give her any indication that he wanted it. For him to be completely comfortable with her. Otherwise, what was the point? She wanted him, but she wanted him to want her, as well.

"Some day soon?"

"If that's what he wants."

The brunette considered her words. "So you're the experienced one out of the two."

"Yes."

"Was it ever with a man who you actually cared for?"

She didn't need to think about the answer. "No."

"In that case, you're not used to gently coaxing a man into it. You know foreplay, but you don't know how to make a man want you."

"Not really." She shrugged. "When it did happen, it was with men who very obviously wanted me."

"Well, excuse me, but I'd say he very obviously wants you."

"Maybe, but he doesn't know how to take the first step. He's too awkward for that."

"Which means that _you_ have to be the one to take the first step. Am I wrong to assume you don't know how to do that without scaring him?"

Astrid shook her head. The brunette smiled.

"Well, then, you're in luck, sister. I'll help you out." She turned to her closet and searched for a while, until she took out something and threw it at her. Astrid caught it and stared. It was a simple dress, not extravagant or anything, but it was rather short and with a wider cleavage than what was acceptable. She held it against her. It wouldn't even reach mid-thigh when it was on.

"I can work the length", she said, "but the cleavage is too much."

Without missing a beat, the other woman tossed her a wrap the same colour as the dress. "Put this on as well, then."

"And then what?" She could see Hiccup dropping his jaw if he saw her in that, but not much else.

"Do something for him. What that something is, I can't tell you. Make a special dinner, run him a bath, whatever. Then start with a little kissing, see where it goes from there."

"I don't think..." Astrid trailed off as an idea came to her. "Actually, you know what? It might work. Thanks."

The brunette winked. "We sisters have to help each other out, don't you think?"

* * *

"So, a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread. Anything else?"

"No", Hiccup answered and took out a few coins. He handed them over, and the man gave him the items.

"If you're staying longer, be sure to check out our mutton. Best on the island."

He smiled. "Thanks. Maybe I will."

He walked away from the stall and towards the inn where he was staying with Astrid. After leaving Whore's Port, she'd suggested spending the night somewhere comfortable.

"If we're going to go exploring", she'd said, "we'll probably spend a lot of nights camping. Might as well rest in a bed while we can. Plus, after today, I think we deserve it."

So that was how they ended up at High Rock island, the first one they came across. They'd traded one of their stones for gold to pay for the inn and food, hid their dragons, and now Astrid was making dinner and sent him to get some things she needed.

As he walked back to the inn, he couldn't help but think about what had happened that very afternoon. Viggo was dead, and Astrid had killed him. Truth be told, he was relieved that the man could no longer harm any dragons. He'd been an extremely dangerous foe, after all. However, a part of him still felt guilty. He'd consented to Astrid killing him, and even if he agreed completely that there was no prison where the hunter could've been held securely, he couldn't avoid his feelings. Astrid had told him that it was perfectly normal, and that it was part of what made him who he was.

"If you didn't feel bad, I'd be worried", she'd told him.

Eventually, he supposed he'd learn to live with it, just like he had learned to live with the fact that he'd killed Drago. In the meantime, his consciousness still bothered him. And even if what Astrid said was true and it was a good thing, he wished it'd be quiet. He wasn't sure he'd sleep well tonight.

Engrossed in those thoughts, he reached the inn and went to their room. He opened the door and was surprised not to see Astrid there in the kitchen.

"Astrid?" he called as he left the food on the table.

"In here", she answered from the bedroom. He walked in.

"I thought you were..." he trailed off, his sentence forgotten.

She was there all right, heating something up over the little hearth that kept their bedroom warm. Wearing a dress (had he ever even seen her wearing a dress?) that, given the way she was bent over, barely covered her ass. A fact that he couldn't really ignore.

She straightened, mercifully (although the lower part of him mourned the loss of such a fantastic view), and turned to him, smiling.

"Hey", she said in a normal voice. As if clothes like that were her usual attire. "I've got something for you."

"Oh?"

"Sit on the bed and take off your shirt."

His mouth went dry.

* * *

 **A/N: So... this chapter marks a break of sorts in the story. With Viggo's death, this is going to become 100% self-indulgent Hiccstrid exploration, and there will be long time gaps between chapters and whatnot. I want to develop them fully, now that I've finally got them to this point. So rejoice, shippers.**


	7. Don't stop me now

**A/N: A lot of people expressed their worry over this turning a bit more M-rated, so here's how this goes: if you're not interested in that content, avoid the paragraph between xx's and then when there is another line of xx's skip ahead to after the long line (the regular one that marks a change of POV). The conversation, obviously, is about these topics, so be warned, but in general, most of this chapter is still T-rated.**

* * *

For a moment, he just stood there, unable to articulate any words. At last he managed, "what?"

"Sit on the bed and take off your shirt", she repeated. When he just continued to stare at her, she winked. "Trust me."

He nodded, not knowing whether he could speak coherently right now. He removed his shirt with some difficulty, since his hands were trembling a bit, and sat down. Astrid went back to what she had over the fire and took it. As she walked towards him, he could see it was a bowl, though he had no idea of its content.

She stood behind him, and he felt himself tense up. He had no idea of what she was planning. And although a part of him (his lower half, to be exact) wasn't complaining, he couldn't help being nervous.

"Relax, Hiccup", she told him, chuckling. "You're acting like you think I'm about to poison you. Deep breaths now. In... and out. In..."

He followed her instructions and eventually he was able to relax, although he still felt a bit wary, not knowing what she was going to do. He found out a few moments later, when her fingers landed on his shoulders, slick with some kind of oil (maybe that was what she was heating up) and began working out the knots that he hadn't even noticed were there.

She performed her task for a long time, and he could hear her humming when she was dealing with some of the most persistent knots. His shoulders began to feel light, in a way they hadn't in months, and he wondered just how long he'd been carrying this tension with him. Maybe it had started when he was framed.

"You've been stressed for a while, haven't you?" she commented at one point. He wasn't sure if her question was rhetorical or not, so he answered it. Sarcastically, of course.

"Well, you were there. What do you think?"

"Fair enough."

The oily substance she was rubbing him with was also helping him. It was warm and soothing, and it made Astrid's fingers slide over the knots more easily.

"What is that thing you're putting on me?"

"Coconut oil", she answered distractedly.

"Coconut?"

"Some southern fruit, apparently. I bought it from a trader."

"Oh."

When she was done, he felt about ready to drop down on the bed and fall asleep. His muscles were in a strange state of lightness and he didn't want to move, to lose that pleasant feeling.

"That was nice", he admitted. "Thanks."

"You're welcome", she answered, and he could hear the smile in her voice. Then he felt her rubbing a piece of cloth on his skin.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting that oil off, or you'll stain the sheets. No reason to give the cleaning ladies more work."

In a minute, she was done. She came around him to sit down facing him. As she did, he couldn't help but notice that dress again. When she plopped down, it rode up her thigh, leaving the whole length of her legs bare. His gaze inevitably slid down to look for a second before he was able to control himself and look back up. Her amused glance told him she'd noticed. Worse, she seemed satisfied, as though that had been exactly what she wanted.

And if she was purposefully trying to rile him up... there was no doubt that she'd succeed. The question was, how far was she willing to go? More importantly, how far was she willing to let _him_ go?

He cleared his throat.

"Where did you learn to do that?" he asked, trying to distract himself with conversation. She shrugged.

"I asked my healer to teach me a few things, in case I was ever in an emergency."

"This doesn't seem like the kind of thing you'd need for an emergency."

"You'd be surprised. Sometimes, the muscles get knotted so tight that they need to be massaged right away, to ease the person's suffering."

"That sounds terrible."

"Yeah."

Silence. His eyes slid down again, without his permission. When he looked up again, he saw Astrid smirking.

"See something you like?" she teased.

She was challenging him, he realised. She was trying to get him to react to her. She _wanted_ him to do something.

It was strange that she hadn't gone ahead and done something herself. Then again, in this area, she was the more experienced one. Maybe this was her way of pushing him while still leaving the final decision to him.

He wanted to do something, of course. His body was screaming for it. But he didn't know just _what_. He didn't know how to start.

"You think too much sometimes, Hiccup."

And before he could do anything, her lips were on his. The kiss was fierce, intense. She was pressing against him with so much force that she began to push him backwards. After the massage, his muscles weren't up for resisting anything, so he surrendered to gravity and fell on the bed, breaking the kiss.

xxxx

But only for a second. Astrid immediately crawled forward, one leg on either side of his, and leaning down, continued the kiss, burying her hands in his hair. While he kissed her back, he couldn't help thinking about the fact that her body was closely pressed to his, and she was wearing far less clothes than normal. He could feel her breasts pressed against his bare chest, and they were most definitely unbound. The fact that there was only one layer between them contributed to get him more... _excited_. He needed to control himself before his body reacted in a more obvious way.

xxxx

"Hiccup." Astrid pulled away enough to look him in the eyes. "Seriously. I can hear you thinking from here. Stop."

"I just..."

"Do you want to stop?" she asked, much more softly this time. She sat up straight on his legs. "Because if you do, all you have to do is tell me."

Hiccup shook his head immediately.

"No, it's not that", he assured her, and it was the pure truth. He didn't want to stop, but he wasn't sure of... well, of himself. He wasn't sure if she really wanted him. "But I don't know when _you_ will want to stop."

She frowned in confusion. "Why would _I_ want to stop?" She gestured between them. "I'm the one who started _this_."

"Yeah, but I'm not..." He trailed off. He wasn't sure of how to say this. He knew that Astrid cared for him, but affection and physical attraction were very different things.

"Not what?"

He sighed. "Not like you."

"Meaning?"

"Attractive. I'm not... a typical Viking, rather the opposite. I'm a talking fishbone. And let's not even mention my missing foot. I'm not sure how much you might like this", he said, gesturing to himself.

Astrid regarded him carefully for a few moments, then smiled. "Let me see if I understand. You think that I'm attractive and experienced while you're not, and that means there's no way I can want you like _that_. Is that right?"

Hiccup nodded, glad she always understood him so well.

"Oh, Hiccup." She shook her head. "If you don't mind, whether you're attractive enough for me is a fact that _I_ will decide."

"I know, but look at me." He looked down at his exposed torso. "I don't even have muscles. I'm not toned like other men."

Astrid's smile had not left her face. It was warm and gentle. "And who told you I found overly muscular men attractive?" She ran a hand down his abdomen, and Hiccup suppressed a shiver at the way she deliberately scratched her nails against him. "Maybe I prefer this. Strong, but in a more subtle way." She looked back up at him. "I like you, _all_ of you. Even the parts that you may not like so much yourself." Her expression suddenly became fierce. "So I don't want to hear you insinuate that you're not good enough for me, ever again. Because it's simply not true. Am I clear?"

There was only one thing to answer. "Yes."

"Good. But I can see you still don't fully believe it."

Feeling a little braver, he spoke. "Maybe you can convince me of it."

Her smile turned predatory. "Maybe."

xxxx

Then she leaned down and kissed him once again, her tongue tangling with his own. This time, her hands roamed freely over his exposed skin, and his own were itching to touch her, too. She'd just encouraged him, so he braced himself mentally, just in case he was going too far, and placed a hand on her bare thigh. She didn't react in any way, so he gave in to temptation and squeezed, just a little. She made the softest of noises, and he repeated the motion.

They went on like that for some time, just kissing and groping. At one point, Astrid kissed down his jaw and his neck. The feeling was new and wonderful. So much so, in fact, that he forgot caution and palmed her breast, like he'd been longing to do. Her answering moan encouraged him to continue exploring. However, as he did, he realised that he was getting hard, and fast.

Before he could do something to hide it, Astrid slid forward on his legs and straddled him properly. Then she ground down on him, and he couldn't stop the moan that escaped him. The feeling of her right on top of _him_ was absolutely divine, and he instinctively rocked his hips against hers, wanting more. She continued for a while, bringing out noises that he didn't know he could make. He could see her cheeks were flushed, and she was breathing just as hard as he was, but he didn't think anything of it until she suddenly shuddered and began rolling her hips without control. He was confused for a moment, before he understood what had happened to her.

She stopped, finally, and smiled down at him.

"That was awesome. Like I said, let _me_ decide if you're attractive enough for me."

He didn't answer. He was still processing the fact that she'd come because of him. And they hadn't even been doing... it.

She got off him and dropped next to him, staring at his erection pointedly. "I'd offer to help with that", she said, "but I feel like that may be too much right now."

Once again, it was great that she understood him so well. While he had certainly enjoyed himself just now, he wasn't ready for that yet. He nodded.

"Do you want to go take care of yourself?"

Blushing, he considered her suggestion. He really couldn't go to sleep like this, he supposed.

Astrid smiled. "Go to the outhouse if you want. I'll be waiting."

He got up and looked back at her, lying on the bed, her legs fully exposed by the short dress.

He decided he rather liked that dress.

* * *

Astrid did her best _not_ to think about what Hiccup was doing right now. She'd just come down from her high, and she knew that she wasn't getting another chance, not tonight. The last thing she should be doing was winding herself up _again_. She'd have to get up and go deal with it herself, and Hiccup would only get even more flushed. And although she enjoyed seeing him like that, she knew he'd been embarrassed enough for tonight. She should leave him be.

Her plan had worked, in any case. She sure was glad for those skills she'd learned. She'd made him relax (she hadn't realised just how tense he'd been for a while, which in hindsight was obvious). She'd been able to coax him to get a little more physical with her. And more importantly, they'd talked about it. She knew he didn't hold his physique in high regard, but she hadn't suspected just how unsure he was about it until now. Maybe those were the fifteen years of rejection creeping up on him again.

She'd make sure to dispel any doubts he might have regarding himself. She'd show him that she really did want him. Although she was sure, considering what had happened, that he had to know now.

She absently ran a hand along her thigh, remembering the touch of his hand there. He had been gentle, unsure. He didn't know what he was doing, so he guided himself by her reactions, it would appear. Nobody had ever taken that much care with what she wanted. And she'd made sure to reciprocate, of course. Sadly, it hadn't been enough for him, but maybe that was for the best. Maybe bringing him to his own end the first time they did this would've been too much.

The sound of the door unlocking made her come back to reality. Hiccup sheepishly stepped in.

"Umm... we haven't had dinner yet."

Astrid bolted upright. With her plan, she'd completely forgotten.

"You're right! Sorry. I'll get to it."

"I'll help."

They cooked the eggs and a few pieces of mutton they still had from their provisions. The food was eaten in silence, and Astrid let Hiccup mull over whatever it was he was thinking. He didn't speak until they were lying in bed, both facing the ceiling.

"Astrid?"

She turned to him, but he didn't look at her. "Yeah?"

"You have... slept with a man before, haven't you?"

So that was what he was thinking about. It made sense, she guessed. "Yeah." A pause. "I hope that isn't a problem for you." Her voice had a slight edge to it. Being possessive wasn't his style, as far as she knew, but...

"No, no", he assured her. "I was just... wondering. I mean, I always assumed that you had, what with the way you look, and the fact that you always seemed so much... wiser than me, in everything. I thought this was yet another thing where you had more experience. But I didn't really think any further than that."

"Well..." she hesitated. "It's more complicated than that."

This time he turned to face her. "How so?"

"Like I've told you, my previous job depended a lot on my reputation. So I couldn't exactly go around sleeping with guys, because that would make everyone deem me a whore. Even though, for a man, that would be a boast-worthy achievement." That injustice had always stung. Hiccup nodded. "At the same time... as long as I was a maiden, there was this whole world that I didn't understand, which was dangerous in my position. So then, I had to lose my maidenhood, but at the same time, it couldn't be with someone who would go around talking about it."

"That sounds like... you chose someone", Hiccup commented.

"I did", she admitted. "It was a carefully thought out process. At last, I settled on a guy I'd seen a few times in a tavern. He was as inexperienced as me, moderately considerate, and more importantly, I could scare him into staying quiet."

"And did he? Stay quiet?"

"Yeah." She hadn't even needed to scare him, really. She'd just asked him, and he'd agreed.

Hiccup remained quiet for a moment. "What was his name?"

"I never found out."

He was surprised. "Seriously?"

Astrid nodded. "I didn't know who he was, he didn't know who I was. I thought it would be the best way to... make it clear to him that there would be no strings attached."

"I guess... that makes sense. And... if it's not too personal a question... how was it?"

She shrugged. "It was fine, I guess. It wasn't like I had anything to compare."

"But you do now", he pointed out.

"True", she admitted. "And my opinion is the same. Your first time, especially if your partner doesn't have any experience either... it's nothing extraordinary. He wasn't too rough, but it wasn't particularly pleasant for me. The second time, I chose a guy with a bit more experience, and it was better."

Hiccup nodded. He opened his mouth, but then closed it.

"Ask", she said. She was sure she knew what he wanted to know.

"How many times?" he asked. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

She shrugged again. "Four times. All with different guys, for the reasons I've just mentioned. And since I know you're wondering, I started just after my seventeenth birthday. I didn't feel ready before."

"There was no pressure", he told her. "I mean, if you wanted to try it, that's fine. But I hope you didn't do it just because you felt like you had to get it over with it."

Astrid averted her eyes. There was another reason, one that she wasn't eager to reveal to him, because she knew how he'd react.

But if they were having a go at a relationship, she should be honest. She knew that much.

"Astrid?"

She looked back up at him. "I wanted to get it over with... because I didn't want it taken from me", she admitted. "I remembered all too well what had almost happened when I was a kid."

Hiccup's eyes widened. "Oh, Astrid..."

"I thought that, if I should ever find myself in that situation again, and I'd already had sex, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad." She couldn't hold his gaze when she made that confession, voice small. It was a fear that she was ashamed of, but that she could not get rid of. It was too deeply ingrained. Even now, with more experience, she knew that if she didn't want it, it would hurt.

Suddenly, she found herself in Hiccup's arms. He didn't say anything, just hugged her close.

"I'd say something", he whispered in her ear. "But I get the feeling you don't want me to. And, in any case, I think I've already said what I'd like to say now."

"I appreciate it", she whispered back. Thor, she hadn't been hugged like this in... how long? Maybe Heather had done it, when she'd told her the story. Or maybe it was even longer. Maybe the last person had been her father.

The thought stung.

After a minute, she pulled back.

"So, that's enough about _my_ sex life. What about yours?" Her attempt to change the subject wasn't subtle at all. She wasn't trying to be. Hiccup understood, and looked properly put out.

"You have to be kidding. You _know_ you were my first kiss. That should be kind of a dead giveaway."

"I know, I know. But, I mean, didn't you ever find a woman in your village attractive?"

"Not really. The only one my age was Ruffnut." He shuddered. "So no."

"No visiting women from other tribes?"

"Not that I remember."

"So..." She didn't want to ask out loud, because it was a tremendously personal question. But Hiccup was staring at her curiously. "What did you... you know... get off to? You don't have to answer if you don't want to", she added immediately.

He blushed instantly. "Oh." He looked away. "I guess... I just made up imaginary women in my mind."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's fine. I just asked a bunch of very intimate questions. It's only right I answer a few, too." He peered at her. "What about you?"

She shrugged. "I did see some attractive men, sometimes, seeing how much I travelled. But most of the time, same as you."

She wondered if she should confess that she had, many times, got off to the thought of _him_ , but decided not to. She'd tell him one day, of course, but they'd already had enough embarrassing honesty for one night.

She faked a yawn. "I'm tired", she announced. She leaned forward and pecked Hiccup's lips softly. "Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

 **A/N: *sweats* So... to those of you that did read it... how did I do? This is the first time I write something like that, and I'm really nervous about it D:**

 **Also: on Thursday I'll be leaving for a few days on holiday, and I don't know if I'll return on Monday or Thursday. So expect a little break.**

 **See you then!**


	8. Put out the fire

**A/N: Man, it's been a while, hasn't it? As you may have deduced, I ended up staying until Thursday, and then on Friday premiered the last season of RTTE, so... I didn't start writing until yesterday. Hopefully this is the last delay in a while!**

* * *

Astrid didn't hear Hiccup get up; she was too focused on what she was doing, stirring the broth to make sure it got properly done. She didn't want to make _another_ mistake. One of the first things that she had discovered in their travels was that she was a terrible cook. Hiccup, on the other hand, managed fairly well. He'd explained to her that, since his dad was gone so often when he was a child, he either had to learn how to cook or starve to death. Astrid, however, had always had someone else cook for her, be it in her own camp or at Outcast Island. She'd thought it was easy, but after burning a meal for the third time, she'd given in and accepted help.

Although Hiccup had shown her some things, her main teachers were the cooks of the inns they'd stayed in. She'd go down to the kitchens early in the morning and watch them, sometimes asking questions. The people there accepted her presence, as long as she kept out of the way and helped clean the dishes. She'd made some progress, but she still preferred to tread lightly in the kitchen.

Hence, her current concentration, and why she didn't notice that Hiccup was up until she felt his presence behind her. His arms wrapped around her waist, and his breath hit her ear.

"Morning."

She smiled, leaning into him. "Morning."

He kissed her ear. "What are you making?"

"Broth. I hope it turns out alright."

"Mmm." He bit her lobe lightly, and she felt a shudder down her spine. "It will. You've been getting better at this, milady."

She raised her eyebrows, although he couldn't see it. "Milady?"

"Heard someone use it the other day. Thought it might suit you."

"Hmm." Pet names weren't something she'd ever thought about in her life –it was one of those things she knew she'd never get to have-, but she liked it. She said so.

Hiccup's answer was to kiss her ear again. "I'm glad." Then he continued down her jaw, to her neck, where he immediately found that one spot that made her melt.

She suppressed a moan. "I have to finish this."

"I'm not stopping you", he mumbled against her skin, and continued his ministrations.

Ever since that first night when she'd given him a massage and more, their relationship had got a bit more physical. Obviously, they weren't anywhere near sleeping together, and their clothes had stayed on so far. But their make-out sessions had become more frequent and more intense, and Hiccup was slowly becoming bolder with his explorations.

That was how he had discovered that she loved it when he kissed her neck, and that spot that made her knees weak. Now, he would often come up behind her and kiss it. He enjoyed her reactions, that much was clear to her.

Astrid, for her part, had discovered that he tended to act much more outwardly affectionate in the morning, when he was sleepy. Normally, she'd have no problem with that, but she really didn't want to ruin breakfast.

"You're distracting me", she complained, even as she tilted her head to give him better access.

"I thought you could focus on several things at once." His lips didn't leave her neck. The spoon in the broth had stopped moving completely.

"Not when you're doing _that_." The last word came out as a gasp when he bit down on her. Although she couldn't see his face, she knew he was pleased he'd found something new that she liked.

"That's not my fault."

"If we have no breakfast, it's on you."

"I can make something later."

The idea was tempting, she had to admit. However, years of exercising her self-control over many different things meant knowing when she had to stop. Even if Hiccup tended to test the limits of that control.

"Hiccup."

"Fine", he sighed. With one last kiss, he pulled away and came to stand next to her. "That looks good, by the way."

She smiled. "Thanks."

Eventually, the broth was done. She brought it to the table, and they ate in comfortable silence. Astrid was glad to have a table; in order to save gold, they tried not to stay at inns very often. If they were in the middle of the wilderness when the night came down, they stayed at the tents. While Astrid was used to living in a camp, her home had far more facilities than they did here. She'd never realised she'd taken those for granted.

"So", Hiccup said, "what are you going to do today?"

Astrid shrugged. "I'll walk around town. See if anyone needs a hand with anything. And if not, I'll go to Stormfly and fly."

He looked at her with regret. "I really didn't want to leave you alone all day."

She gave him a small smile. "It's fine. We don't need to spend every waking moment together. Besides, you're just trying to help. And the man might consider he owes you a favour."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

After they'd eaten, he left to help the local blacksmith. Apparently the man had been sick and needed to catch up on a lot of orders, and Hiccup had offered to help, having heard rumours somewhere. That left Astrid with nothing to do, so she wandered off, with no real direction.

After an hour, she was walking along a deserted street when an old lady who was trying to carry a box tripped and fell. The contents of the box, which had been full of food, fell everywhere. There was nobody, so Astrid rushed to help.

"Oh, thank you, girl", the woman smiled at her, and Astrid smiled back.

"No problem, ma'am. Do you want me to carry this for you?"

The elder woman bit her lip. "I don't want to intrude on your schedule, young lady."

"You're not", Astrid insisted. "Let me give you a hand."

"Very well then, if you insist."

They walked a few more blocks until they reached a large building. The elder woman knocked, and the door was soon opened by another woman who appeared to be just as old.

"Una!" she said. Then she looked at Astrid and raised an eyebrow. "I see you've brought company."

"Hello, Siv! As for this young woman, she kindly helped me with the food." Una turned to her. "I don't have the pleasure of knowing your name, though."

"Astrid", she replied with a smile.

"Well, Astrid", Siv said, "thank you for the help. Not everyone is willing to lend a hand to the elders these days."

"It was no problem", the blonde answered once more.

"In that case, come inside. I'll show you where to leave the box."

She followed the old woman into a large room full of women with grey hair and wrinkled skin. Some were moving around, while others were sunk into chairs and seemed more stiff.

She put the box down at Siv's request.

"Well", she said, "I suppose I'll leave you to it."

"Unless you'd like to join us. You did carry this food. The least we can do is let you have some."

"Please. You weren't counting on one more guest when you got all this. I wouldn't want to intrude." Astrid had no idea of how these women had come across the food, but they didn't look to be particularly well off, rather the opposite. And it must have been a sacrifice to get that stuff.

"You're not intruding", Siv insisted. "You showed kindness, it's only fair we pay it back."

Una and the others joined in, and she relented. She spent an hour or two with them, just talking and eating. Some of them were playing a game with cards, and she joined them for a few rounds. From what she could gather, these women had all lost their families under different circumstances, some tragic and some not. They only had each other, and they were together to make getting by easier. Astrid wondered if there was any way she could slip them some gold without their knowing.

Everything was going well, until suddenly the front door burst open, and in came a large man with a crazed expression. He was carrying a spear. Astrid had her axe with her, though, and reached behind her back, grabbing the handhold but without taking it out yet. She wanted to assess the situation first. (And she didn't want to scare the women.)

"The gold", the man said in a throaty voice, like he was sick. "Give me the gold."

"There's no gold here", Siv said fearfully. "We don't have any."

"Lies", the man spat. "Give me your gold!"

"All right", Astrid intervened, "you've obviously made a mistake-"

"The _gold_!" He advanced, swinging the sword, and Astrid noticed that his eyes also had a glassy look. She understood, then.

He was under the influence of something. He would not listen to reason, and he'd be violent.

So she did the only thing she could, and took her axe out.

"Look", she said, and this time her voice was much firmer. "You should leave. If you don't, I'm going to make you."

"Let's see you try, blondie", the man said, and lunged at her. Astrid sidestepped him and stuck her foot out when he ran past her, sending him crashing to the floor. She'd thought that would be enough to stun him, considering the state he was in.

She was wrong. He raised the spear and threw it at Una. Astrid barely had time to swing her axe before it, blocking it. Then, in a move that was more out of reflex than anything, she turned around and brought the axe down on the man's head.

She didn't think about what it meant, until she looked up and into Una's shocked eyes. Then she looked back down at the man's head.

And suddenly she felt sick.

* * *

Hiccup was sharpening a sword when a boy came running to the smithy. He stopped what he was doing and looked at him questioningly.

"Relax. Whatever you need won't be done faster because you ran here."

The boy shook his head. "Are you... Hiccup?" he panted.

He nodded. "Yes, and you are?"

"It doesn't... matter. I'm here... on behalf of the Wise Women."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "Should I know that name?"

"No, but they say that there was a woman named Astrid there. That she mentioned your name, and that you were working here."

Hiccup instantly became more concerned. "Has something happened to her?" It seemed unlikely. She'd said she was going to walk around town, and this was a fairly peaceful island... not to mention she was perfectly capable of defending herself.

"Sort of. The Wise Women said that you could go find them, and they'd fill you in. I can take you there, if you want."

Hiccup turned his head to look at the master blacksmith. "All right. Just give me a second."

He went to the man and explained the situation. Fortunately, he was very understanding and told him to go. "You've already helped me a lot", he said.

Grateful, Hiccup left and followed the boy for a few streets, until they reached a large building. When the boy knocked, an old woman opened the door. She stared at Hiccup.

"Are you Hiccup?" she asked and he nodded. "Come in."

He did, and they explained the situation: how a man had suddenly burst in, armed with a spear, how Astrid had defended Una and then killed the man.

"It was so strange", the woman, Siv, said. "Like she did it without thinking. But afterwards, she regretted it. She gagged, and then ran off. Even though we tried to tell her to come back."

Hiccup didn't need to hear any more to know he needed to find her, now. Gods only knew what kind of thoughts were running through her head.

"Do you know where she went?"

"No, sorry. I thought you might know."

"All right. Thank you."

Once he stepped outside, he immediately went to their inn, but she wasn't there. That left only one possible place.

He ran towards the forest and looked for the spot where they'd left their dragons. As he approached, he could suddenly hear sobs, and he stopped for a second. Then he walked into the clearing.

Astrid was sitting on the ground, knees up against her chest, head buried in her arms and shoulders shaking. Stormfly had curled up around her protectively, as had Toothless. The latter raised his head as Hiccup arrived and warbled happily. He trotted to his side and Hiccup hugged him. Then the Night Fury turned to Astrid and crooned, concerned.

"Astrid", he called out, slowly stepping closer. She didn't answer, didn't stop sobbing. He went to her side, patted Stormfly's flank and sat down next to the blonde. He thought about putting his arm around her shoulders, but decided against it. He waited.

Eventually, Astrid's sobs stopped. "Still here?" she asked in a dry tone, lifting her head but staring straight ahead.

The question confused Hiccup. "Where else would I be?"

"Somewhere else. Away from me."

Oh, so _that's_ where her thoughts were. Not good. "And why would I do that?"

"I assume you know why, if you're here. It's not like you to ditch someone in the middle of doing them a favour."

"I know what happened. I don't know why that means I'd leave without you."

"Oh, I don't know." Astrid's voice was heavy with sarcasm. She was looking away, though, so he couldn't see her face. "Maybe because it turns out that, after all, I'm just a murderer who doesn't deserve you."

"Astrid..."

"Don't. You know that as well as I do." She took a shaky breath. "I mean, how else do you explain that, when threatened, the first thing I do is kill a person? And a disarmed addict at that. Someone who could've easily been restrained until guards arrived to take him to a dungeon. It wouldn't have been a problem. But no, I had to go and immediately split his head in two."

He could see the corner of her eyes, and they were watering up.

"And you know what the worst part is? I didn't even think about it. Not for one second did I stop to consider what I was going to do. It was almost... reflex. Muscle memory." She gagged. Hiccup remembered Siv's words. It was like she was sick. With herself, apparently.

"Tell me, Hiccup." She faced him then. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her expression was absolutely heartbreaking. "How am I supposed to live a normal life? Knowing that, if I'm threatened, I will immediately turn to murder? Knowing that killing is instinctual to me?" She shook her head. "I can't do this, Hiccup. I don't _deserve_ this. Or you. I should just go and leave you with Toothless." The Night Fury warbled at the mention of his name. "He, at least, isn't a killer."

Deeming it appropriate now, Hiccup draped his arm around her shoulders. She stiffened and looked away.

"Astrid", he began. He chose his words carefully. "You knew this wasn't going to be easy. You've lived your whole life one way, and it's not going to go away overnight. You'll need to work on it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone needs a little time to adjust to change."

"But it's my instinct to be a killer", she said, looking at him. "How can something like that go away?"

"For generations, it was everyone's instinct on Berk to kill a dragon on sight", he told her. "And if you think that changed as soon as the battle with the Red Death was done, you're wrong. Sure, a lot of people were happy with the dragons, but there were many who were unconvinced. There was a man who did everything he could to get the dragons away from Berk. Once, he convinced everyone that the reason lightning was striking the island was because Thor was angry at Toothless. And you know what? The same people who'd accepted dragons were calling for my and Toothless' head. That incident showed me that it takes people some time to adapt to change. Especially when they have to change something that's deeply ingrained in them."

Astrid sighed, looking down, but scooted a little closer to him. He counted that as a small victory.

"I just... what if I can't change it? What if I'm like this the rest of my life?"

"Then we'll do whatever is necessary. We'll go live in the middle of the forest, if we have to." He smiled. "But I doubt we'll have to resort to that. After all, this was the first time you encountered something like this. Something that was a real challenge to the way you used to act."

"And I failed."

"I didn't think _you_ were the kind of person to give up after one try." He meant to irk her, to make her react.

"I'm not. But if every time I fail, someone is going to die..."

"Astrid, you were completely unprepared today. But now you know what happens when you're threatened, and you're going to be more careful. And the next time you find yourself in a situation like that, you'll think more before acting. I know you will. If there's one thing you're great at, it's thinking."

Astrid gave a small smile, and he felt relieved that he was getting her out of her downward spiral. Then she sighed. "I guess I can only try."

"Don't we all?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. "I don't understand how you can put up with this", she said quietly.

He brushed her cheek. "Because I know you, Astrid. And I know who you really are." After a moment's hesitation, he grasped her waist and pulled her into his lap, and she curled deeper into him. "I've seen your best, and I've seen your worst. I've got a glimpse at what's in here" he kissed her temple, "but also here." He placed a hand against her chest, close to her heart. "And from what I've seen, there's true beauty in there. Beauty that you've repressed, but if you allow it to flourish, will be amazing." He kissed her cheek. "And I know you can do it. More importantly, you _want_ to do it."

Astrid switched her arms from his waist to his neck and looked at him. Her expression was less sad now, more thoughtful.

"You feel terrible right now", he continued, "because of what you did. That only proves my point. If you weren't the incredible person I know you are, you wouldn't feel that way. You wouldn't care at all. But you do. And that's a step in the right direction." He brushed her cheek again. "The important thing is that you keep trying, and don't give up. It will be hard, yes. But I know you can do it. And I'll be here for you, every step of the way."

Her eyes teared up again, but before he could say something, she used her hold on his neck to bring him closer and press her lips to his. He kissed her back gently, sweetly, trying to convey the message that he meant what he'd said. When they broke apart, she buried her head in his chest.

"Thank you", she whispered.

"Always."

He could've sworn he heard her mumble three little words. But he wasn't sure he was meant to hear it. So he pretended he hadn't.

He pretended his heart didn't beat just a little faster. And if Astrid heard it, she ignored it, too.


	9. Loss

**A/N: Because last time I was asked for this... trigger warning for attempted rape of a minor. (Again. Yeah, y'all can guess just _what_ is going to be remembered this chapter.)**

* * *

When Astrid woke up that morning and realised that there was nobody lying next to her on the fur, she immediately had a bad feeling about it. They were staying in a forest, so reasonably Hiccup could've gone to get firewood or fish... but her gut told her that wasn't the case. The feeling was amplified when she stepped out of the tent to discover that Toothless was missing as well. Stormfly was there, and she caressed her happy Nadder while she considered the situation.

Hiccup being on Toothless could, potentially, just mean that he'd gone to get something, or even that he was just going on a morning flight. Except that they always did that together, all four of them. And even if he was going on an errand, why wouldn't he wake her up beforehand, or at least leave a note? No, there was something amiss. Either he didn't want her to know that he'd left... or he'd been taken. She immediately discarded the latter; they were wandering around aimlessly, far too randomly for one of her enemies to find her. Not to mention, Stormfly wouldn't be so calm.

So why would he leave without her knowledge? And with Toothless...

The answer sprung to her mind immediately, and when it did, she groaned aloud. Stormfly chirped questioningly.

"Don't worry, girl. Nothing's wrong. Well, except maybe that Hiccup is a muttonhead."

She'd seen him jump off Toothless in that flight suit of his a couple of times. And no matter that he came back okay every single one, it didn't stop her nerves. After all, it had to have taken him time to perfect the suit and his manoeuvres. Which in turn meant he must have been close to falling to his death a few times. Yet it apparently hadn't deterred him in the slightest.

She did recall him mumbling something about making some changes to the flight suit, or to Toothless' fin, to make gliding easier. He never mentioned it to her, though, probably because he'd seen her frown whenever he brought up the topic.

She hadn't thought he was stupid enough to go do such a thing without her knowledge, or any backup.

Apparently, she was wrong.

So now she had to go find him. She went back into the tent and searched in their provisions until she found a waterskin. She took a sip, then tore a piece off a loaf of bread and stuck it in her mouth as she stepped outside. There was no time for breakfast. Chewing, she climbed on Stormfly.

"Come on, girl", she said once she'd swallowed. "We have to go find a muttonhead."

* * *

Hiccup knew, from the moment he quietly slipped away from Astrid when she was sleeping, that he was playing a dangerous game. If she found out what he'd been doing behind her back, she'd be furious, he knew. He'd noticed her dislike of the flight suit, which was why he never talked about it with her. But it was a clever idea, he was sure of it, and he'd finally managed to get it working properly.

However, the other day, he'd come up with what he hoped was a way to make Toothless' flight easier when Hiccup wasn't on his back. And of course, the only way to really test that was to jump off him mid-flight. He'd managed to hide the contraptions he was making at an island's forge, so she hadn't noticed. But if she woke up before he came back, she'd wonder where he'd been. And he doubted he'd be able to lie convincingly.

Toothless hadn't been particularly keen on this, either, but he'd begrudgingly agreed to fly to this secluded spot. So far, they'd done two tests, and they'd both gone remarkably well.

He was preparing to jump off a third time, crouched on Toothless, when a loud, _familiar_ voice came out of nowhere.

"HICCUP HADDOCK!"

The sudden shout scared him enough to make him lose his balance. Instead of diving head-first, like he'd intended to, he fell off to the side and tumbled through the air, out of control.

"Hiccup!" This time, the cry was much less angry and much more desperate. He tried to regain his sense of space, so as to get his balance back and be able to open the suit, but he felt like he'd been hit by a Thunderdrum. He couldn't seem to stop moving. He heard Toothless' anguished roar higher up, trying to get to him but being unable to make such a steep dive by himself.

And then, his fall was broken as claws grabbed him. He looked up to see the underside of Stormfly's blue hide. He heard Astrid mumble something, and the Nadder rose until she could drop him on Toothless' back.

Once he'd sat down and recovered, he was able to turn to look at Astrid. And do a double take when he saw the fire in her eyes. She was absolutely _livid_.

"Astrid..." he began, but she cut him off.

"Don't", she said, her voice cold. "You know what I think of you doing this. But that you'd do it alone... I mean, what would you have done if I hadn't been here just now?"

"Well, if you hadn't shouted so loudly and thrown me off, I wouldn't have fallen!" He wasn't sure why he raised his voice. Maybe it was an instinctual reaction, from the days when he used to argue with his father. But in any case, he _had_ fallen because of her.

"And if you hadn't been jumping off your dragon like an idiot, then you would've been hooked to the damn saddle, and you wouldn't have fallen!"

He'd seen her angry before, of course. He'd seen her dealing with her enemies... but she'd never been mad at _him_. It was, frankly, terrifying. But he couldn't back off now, could he?

"Astrid, I've told you a hundred times! The flight suit is perfectly safe..."

"Until you go around making modifications, from what I've seen!" she exclaimed, nodding at the tailfin. Toothless warbled, concerned at their harsh voices. "And then what happens if the modification fails? What will you do then? Who will catch you?"

"Astrid, I did this alone all the time, and guess what? Nothing happened to me! I'm still in one piece!"

"I wouldn't call missing a leg in one piece", she muttered, but loud enough for him to hear.

His eyes widened. That was a low blow. One he would've expected of someone like his cousin, but not from her. He didn't have an answer for that.

"I mean, you've always done this alone, so that's what you'll continue to do, right? Even if it's stupidly dangerous. Even if I ask you not to. After all", her voice lowered to an almost inaudible degree, "what does it matter if I worry?"

His throat tightened. Her voice didn't sound angry any more, but defeated. Which was ten times worse.

"Astrid, that's not-"

"Let's go, Stormfly", she cut him off, not looking at him. "I hope you come back. Preferably with no more missing limbs."

The Deadly Nadder squawked with worry as she flew off. Hiccup watch them get further away, wondering if he should go after them or if he should give her time to cool off. Eventually, he decided that, if she was worried about him, he should probably stop his trials. So he followed, at a distance.

When he reached camp, he saw that while Stormfly remained by their tent, Astrid had walked away. Hiccup landed and let Toothless go to play with his friend, pondering where Astrid could be. There was a rather beautiful pond where they'd been a few times, so that sounded like a good place to look. Then again, did she want him following her?

It didn't matter, he decided. They were travelling together, doing everything together. They needed to resolve this. So he started walking. It was a short distance to the pond, and sure enough, there was Astrid, sitting by the edge of the water.

He approached carefully, watching for any signs that she wanted him to leave, and when she didn't move, he sat down beside her.

She didn't say anything, just kept staring forward. Finally, he couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"I'm sorry", he said. "I should've told you that I wanted to try some things out. I should've asked you for backup."

"Yeah, you should have", she replied dryly, and Hiccup was glad to hear that her anger, at least, seemed to have subsided.

"I just... I know you don't approve of the flight suit. I didn't want you being all negative."

As soon as he said it, he regretted it, but Astrid snorted. "Well, you got that right. But I guess that, if you're going to do the stupid thing and go it alone, then I should just cut back on the negativity, huh?" She sighed, and looked at him. Her eyes were regretful. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"I shouldn't have yelled, either." He'd regretted it the moment he'd done it, to be honest.

"But I did it first. You responded because it's a natural, human thing to do."

"You were pissed off. And I knew you would be. Of course you yelled. I should've realised that."

"And I should realise that you have your hobbies, and maybe I should be supportive of them." She gave him a sad smile. "I know you can take care of yourself, Hiccup. It's just... it felt like you didn't care at all that I might get worried about you."

"That's not true, and you know it." He sighed. "Still. Sorry if I made you feel that way. I promise that next time I want to try something like that, I'll let you know."

"And I promise to keep any criticism to myself."

They smiled at each other, and then Astrid scooted closer so that she could rest her head on his chest. He put his arm around her shoulders.

"I know I overreacted", Astrid said. "But I... I really don't want to lose pretty much the only person I have." Under her breath, but loud enough for Hiccup to hear, she added, "Not again."

Hiccup tensed. The last thing he imagined was that she was thinking about her deceased father. "Oh, Astrid..."

"I know, it's stupid. But my dad, too, was a man who could take care of himself. Or so he said. But that didn't stop him from getting killed."

Hiccup remained quiet. She'd never talked about her father's death in detail, and he'd never asked her, not wanting to bring up bad memories. But if she was in the mood to tell him...

"Astrid?" he asked tentatively. "How did your father die? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Astrid sighed and rearranged herself to sit down on his lap. He automatically surrounded her with his arms, noticing that her head was in such a position that he couldn't see her face.

* * *

 _Astrid waited impatiently for the man behind the counter to get her cake. She was having lunch with her Dad, and after the fish, he'd given her some coins and told her to go get some dessert. She'd been surprised, since that was a luxury they rarely allowed themselves, but she didn't complain. She'd happily rushed out, thinking of what cake she wanted. She'd like to try the brown one; it looked yummy._

 _The man finally brought the cake, and she gave him the coins. She thanked him and then ran again to the house they were staying in; meal times were important, a time to be with her Dad, and she didn't want to waste any more of it than she had to._

 _When she got to the door, she noticed that it was slightly ajar. Weird. Her Dad always made sure to close it. Why would he change that?_

 _Then the sudden thought came to her mind that maybe_ he _hadn't done that. What if there was someone else inside?_

 _Only one way to find out. Remembering the few things her Dad had taught her about self-defence, she slammed the door open and jumped inside._

 _The image that she found was one that would stay burned inside her retinas forever. Her Dad, who'd been sitting at the table when she left, was on the floor, next to the chair, which had also fallen over. His eyes were staring into nothingness, and he wasn't moving, not one inch. His glass was next to him, water spilled on the floor._

 _The next thing she noticed was the man who was standing opposite her father, near her. He was big, burly, and his face was mostly obscured by a beard. He was grinning at her in a rather unpleasant way._

" _Well, well, well", he said, "who do we have here?"_

 _Astrid didn't answer, didn't move, didn't react in any way. She was too stunned. She didn't understand what she was seeing._

" _You look like Hofferson himself. I'm guessing you're his whelp? Well then. This is quite lucky, don't you think?"_

 _When he stepped closer to her, her self-preservation instincts kicked in. She jumped away._

" _Get away from me", she hissed. Why she didn't scream, she didn't know. Maybe it was the shock._

" _Oh, don't be like that, sweetheart", the man said, closing the door. "I mean, we can have so much fun together, you know?"_

 _He began advancing on her, and she began walking backwards until her back hit the wall. Trapped. She was trapped. Her instincts kicked in again, and this time she made sure to remember what her father had taught her. A knee between the legs, biting..._

 _Suddenly, his hands were on her, and terror invaded her mind. She forgot which technique was more effective. Frantic, she tried using every single one of them, but he deflected her as if she were no more than a fly. He was saying something, but her brain wasn't registering what it was; her only thought was that she had to_ get out of here _, and fast._

 _Then he yanked her top from its skirt, and a single, horrifying realisation filled her mind; she_ couldn't _escape. She was too small, and he was too strong. This was going to happen, and her Dad wasn't there to stop it._

 _When she understood that, a single sob escaped her. Her Dad had taught her to be strong, and she had to be that. But she couldn't not make a sound._

" _Ah, finally you understand", the man said. "See, we're going to-"_

 _He didn't finish his sentence; suddenly his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed onto her. Sheer fear kept her paralysed for a second; then she immediately scrambled out from underneath him. Only when she was a good distance away did she realise that he probably hadn't gone unconscious alone, and she looked up to find the man who had sold her the cakes._

" _Are you all right, girl?" he asked in a concerned voice._

 _Astrid nodded, looked at the man once more to ensure he wasn't going to get up, and then turned._

 _To her Dad._

 _Her Dad who, she could now see clearly, was no longer among the living._

 _The sobs started coming again, and this time there was no stopping them._

* * *

Astrid felt the tears flooding her cheeks, and wiped them with her hands. No matter that it had been almost ten years since that horrible day, the memory of it continued to be absolutely devastating for her. They said that time heals all wounds, but whenever Astrid remembered her father's death, the injury was wide open again, stinging as much as it had the first day.

She didn't know how Hiccup realised that she was crying, since he couldn't see her face, but he pushed her hand away and wiped her tears himself.

When she'd calmed down enough, Hiccup spoke. "Why didn't you tell me last time?"

He didn't specify, but she knew what time he was talking about. When he'd heard half of it. "Because what I told you was painful enough. I didn't want you prying any more."

"Fair enough." A pause. "And... what happened after that?"

Astrid sighed. "Tadeo, the man, wanted me to go to his house, with his family, while he sorted out everything. But I didn't want to leave my dad. In the end, he asked someone nearby to keep an eye on me while he went to speak with the guards." She remembered spending that time, probably less than five minutes, slumped over her father's corpse, crying. The guy looking after her had seemed remarkably uncomfortable, though fortunately he didn't try to say anything. "The... my father's murderer was taken to a dungeon. And then they asked my father's name, so they could give him a proper burial. Thankfully, most people knew my dad's nickname, but not his real name. So I told them he was Asmund Hofferson. They shipped him off that very day, because I said there was no point in waiting."

She remembered that funeral. Tadeo and his wife, as well as the island's chief, had been there. The latter had spoken a generic farewell, so meaningless she couldn't even recall it. This man hadn't known her Dad; only _she_ had. How could he ever talk about him? How dare he? But she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Then she'd been given the bow and arrow. The chief had expressed his doubts over whether she'd be able to shoot it, but she was great with weapons. The arrow had hit the ship dead on. The chief had fired one, too, and then left. Tadeo had stayed with her in respectful silence. She was feeling... lost, that was the truth. What was she going to do now?

Tadeo had asked her whether she wanted to stay with his family, but she'd refused. She didn't want anyone to try and replace her father. Then he'd suggested that he knew several children her age in the village whose parents would be happy to marry off, even if it was to a girl with no prospects.

Looking back on it, she knew that he meant well, but he spoke with such insensitivity that she snapped. She wasn't some prize, and she didn't want his pity. She told him so, and then... she ran away, into the forest. The island had a big one; if she ran far enough, they wouldn't find her.

Hiccup asked what she was thinking about, and she told him. Afterwards, he was silent.

"How long did you stay there?" he eventually asked.

"Two days."

"Weren't you hungry?"

"Starving. I didn't even have a weapon to hunt an animal with. And I was also cold."

Truth be told, she didn't actually remember much of what had happened those two days. She'd just wandered, drowning in grief, without noticing much of what was going on around her. Wondering what she could've done to change what had happened, even if she knew deep down she couldn't have prevented it.

"And what happened? I mean, what made you... snap back?"

"On the second day, I saw a boar chasing a deer. Even as the boar attacked it, it kept trying to break free. To survive. And somehow, it got out. That got me thinking, that the deer was alive because it fought for it. It never gave up. And if I wanted to stay alive, I had to do the same. So I did. I went to the village, sneaked into the back of a shop and stole some food and a blanket." She smiled wryly. "That was like the beginning of my career, I suppose. After that, I tried to think more rationally, and thought about Alvin, the only person I knew who was a good friend of my father's. I had no guarantee that he'd help me, of course, but I'd never know if I didn't ask him. So I stowed away. The rest... well, you know already."

"Why didn't you ask Tadeo for help? I mean, he'd already offered."

"Because I'd already thrown his offer back in his face. I didn't know if it still stood. For a moment, I also considered going to Birger, but I knew his mother had a hard time getting by already as it was. She probably wouldn't be able to feed a second child. Maybe her luck had changed in Berk, but I couldn't know, and I didn't want to impose. And I knew, if I went to her, she'd feel compelled to help me."

"Hmm."

Hiccup seemed to be mulling on something, even if he didn't say it.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just... I was wondering what would've happened if you had come to Berk then. I mean... I would've met you under very different circumstances."

She'd never considered that. "True." She smiled. "Do you think we would've still hit it off?"

He chuckled. "Probably. And... if we'd wanted to be together, we might have been able to. You know, without having to run away."

"I don't know. I would've been a girl in a rather poor household. Not sure your father would've wanted such a prospect for the future chief."

"Maybe." He shook his head slightly, as if to clear his head. "So, your father was poisoned."

Astrid sighed. "Yeah. And... I've been thinking about it. I think he knew the moment he drank the water. That's why he sent me to get dessert." It had taken her a few years to realise that, since she tried to avoid thinking about that day as much as she could. Sometimes she'd blame herself for not being there, for choosing precisely that moment to go get a stupid cake, until one day she realised it was too much coincidence.

Hiccup stiffened. "You think he wanted to send you away when he was going to die?"

"I think he didn't want me to see him dying."

"That's... incredibly thoughtful. Especially for someone who has just realised he's not going to make it."

Astrid felt a lonely tear fall. "He was my father. He loved me, up until his last moments."

Hiccup just hugged her tighter.


	10. Need your loving tonight

**A/N: So... this chapter contains smut. Same as the last one, if you don't want to read that content, don't read the part between xxxx's (although since smut is the biggest part of this chapter, you won't get to read much. Sorry about that.)**

* * *

"So", Astrid asked, "where do we go next?"

"Well", Hiccup answered, "maybe-"

"Hey! This fish is cold!"

Astrid huffed and turned to glare at the owner of the voice, a woman sitting at the table to their left. She was dressed in expensive-looking clothes, and hadn't stopped mistreating the serving ladies since she walked in. They were both starting to get rather sick of her.

"Okay", Astrid said, "that's it."

Hiccup frowned. "What are you going to do?"

Astrid smirked. "Just wait until she goes to the outhouse. In the meantime, would you happen to have a pencil and paper?"

"Uhh, sure." He handed the items over to her, and she quickly scribbled something down. She flashed him a smile as she gave the pencil back.

"Thanks."

"What's that?"

She turned the paper over and he could see that she'd written. 'This is what you get for being a bitch. Love, A.'

"You'll see soon enough."

Ten minutes later, when the woman left, Astrid got up and wandered past her table. He saw her do a quick movement, although he couldn't quite tell what she'd done. When she came back, she showed him that she'd grabbed what looked to be an invitation.

"Left the paper in its place", she explained. "Next time she decides to throw a snit, she'll think twice."

After they'd left, they looked at the invitation more closely: it was for a formal dance to be held that evening, at the Great Hall. Hiccup didn't even know the island they were at _had_ a Great Hall.

"Do you want to go?" Astrid asked.

"Uh... we're not invited, Astrid."

"Twice the fun." She smiled. "Did you never go to a place you weren't supposed to be?"

"Well, I did do things I wasn't supposed to do, I guess", he answered, thinking of his friendship with Toothless.

"Then it's settled."

* * *

It was hard for Hiccup to settle his nerves. He felt like they might get discovered at any second. The cloak he was wearing wasn't helping; he felt like it was suffocating him, but it was part of the formal attire Astrid had got for him. The blonde herself looked stunning in a red dress that reached all the way to the floor, hair done up in two braids that merged into one.

They were at the entrance to the Hall. Astrid slipped her hand into his arm, the way the couples around them were doing, and they walked to the door. She handed the guard at the door her invitation with a charming smile. He read it briefly before nodding.

"Come in, Miss Svenson", the man smiled back. He glanced at Hiccup. "I assume this is your plus one?"

"Indeed."

"Very well then. Enjoy yourselves!"

The Hall had been decorated to mark the occasion, long tapestries in rich colours lining the walls. It was evident that this was an event for the wealthy. Two tables at the far end of the room were full of food, and people stood by, chatting with each other. There was also a space that had been cleared for the dancers, with a few musicians nearby playing a slow song.

Hiccup felt his nerves increase when he took a better look at the people surrounding them. They were all dressed in fine clothing, and seemed to look down their noses at the musicians and the people serving the food. This was exactly the kind of place he didn't belong in. His place was in the skies, with Toothless.

Astrid must've felt his anxiety, because she tugged his arm.

"Hey", she said. "No need to be so nervous."

"It's just... I'm not like these people, Astrid. And while you can pretend, _I_ can't."

She smiled. "Then don't", she told him. "If we don't speak to anybody, we don't have to pretend anything."

"What are we going to do then?"

She looked at the dance floor meaningfully, and he felt his stomach drop. "Astrid. No. Please."

"Why not?" She seemed genuinely curious.

He sighed. "Only one foot, remember?"

"Oh, come on. Plenty of Vikings have missing limbs, and it doesn't stop them from dancing. Plus, what else are we going to do?"

Hiccup sighed again. He wasn't going to win this argument, that much was clear, so he supposed he might as well get it over with. Astrid noticed his change in demeanour and smiled softly.

"Come on", she said, leading him, "it won't be so bad."

They stood in the middle of the other dancers, and Hiccup glanced around nervously. He saw more than one face turn to stare judgementally at his metal foot. He shifted uncomfortably. If Astrid noticed, she pretended not to as she took one of his hands and placed it on her waist, while she put one of hers on his shoulder. Then she joined her other hand with his.

"Astrid", he murmured nervously, "I've never done this before."

She seemed surprised. "Never? Were there no dances in Berk?"

"Yes, but not like this." The dances he remembered had more lively music, and people were kind of just fooling around.

"All right then. Just follow my lead." She smiled. "And try not to step on my toes, if you can."

"No promises", he answered wryly.

Astrid began to sway them from side to side, moving her feet to the soft rhythm of the music. Hiccup found, rather to his surprise, that it wasn't so difficult to follow, at least at this pace.

"See?" Astrid smiled. "You're doing fine."

As they continued to move around, Hiccup was slowly growing more confident, until he felt a voice: "...shameful that they'd allow someone without a foot here."

He didn't turn around to see who it was, but he saw Astrid glare over his shoulder. He couldn't help but look down and around, noticing that nobody else was missing a limb. Normally, it didn't affect him so much, but here, surrounded by people who were clearly much better off in life than him, he couldn't help but feel inadequate.

"Hey." Astrid's voice was sharp. "Hiccup. Look at me."

He did, and her eyes were fierce.

"You're here with _me_ , not them. Don't give a shit what _they_ think. Okay?" He nodded. "I want you to focus on me and nothing else. Forget these assholes in their high horses."

He was surprised by how easy it was to do just that, to get lost in her blue eyes. He couldn't stop staring at her, and it seemed like she was doing just the same. But what captivated him the most was the _way_ she was looking at him. It took him a moment to realise what it was, but when he did, it took his breath away.

She was looking at him like, right here and now, he was the centre of her universe. Like nothing else mattered but him.

Although he'd never had that look directed at him before, he could see it now. And what surprised him the most was that he was pretty sure he must have the same look on his own face. They were lost in their little private bubble, just the two of them.

He remembered the three little words that he'd heard her say, the ones he didn't acknowledge and neither did she. The fact that she hadn't said them aloud told him plenty. She meant them; she just didn't want to tell him yet, for whatever reason.

That also brought a question: did _he_ feel that way? Hard to say, since he'd never really known what love was supposed to feel like. He knew love for his parents, and love for his best friend. But he had no idea what love for a woman was like. Was this it? Feeling like she was the most important thing he had?

He had no idea, but something told him he'd find out soon.

And for the rest of the night, neither took notice of anything but the other one.

* * *

Hiccup was still deep in thought when they reached their inn room. If Astrid noticed, she didn't say anything, obviously waiting for him to share what was in his mind. However, he wasn't sure how to do that.

Astrid began wordlessly taking down her complicated braid, while Hiccup sat down on the bed and, after a moment's hesitation, removed his prosthetic. He felt Astrid's eyes slide over to him, but only for a second. He began massaging the stump: dancing hadn't sat that well with it, even though they'd been remarkably gentle, and it was hurting a bit.

"What's wrong?" Astrid asked.

Hiccup sighed and explained.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could've gone to do something else."

"To be honest, I didn't really notice until we stopped. And by then, the event was ending, so..."

"You really need better self-preservation instincts, Hiccup", she huffed. She turned to him again. "May I?"

He stared at her for a second. She'd never touched his leg before. Letting her do so felt incredibly intimate.

But after the moment (more like hours) they'd just shared, was it really such a big deal?

No. She'd gained every bit of his trust. She deserved it.

"Okay."

She kneeled in front of him and examined the stump. The skin was red, although thankfully it hadn't been rubbed off.

"Did you seriously not notice this?" She sighed as she went over to the bag where she carried some medicines.

"I was... distracted."

"By what?"

"You." The word slipped out without thinking. He blushed, but didn't correct himself. It was, after all, the truth. He could've sworn Astrid's skin was flushed, too, as she walked towards him with a small container.

"Oh." She didn't say anything else as she applied the salve to his stump, gently massaging it.

"How do you know how to treat this?" he asked, both to distract himself and out of curiosity.

"Also part of what I learned with my healer. Admittedly, I only asked her after meeting you."

She continued in silence. When she was finished, she stood up again and continued getting her hair back to normal. Or rather, trying to. Hiccup could see her struggling. When she gave a small tug and yelped, he decided to intervene.

"What is it?" he asked.

She sighed. "Can you help me out? I think my hair got stuck. These stupid decorative buttons look nice, but sure are annoying."

Damn. If he thought what she'd just done for him was intimate, this was much further down the line. He felt nervous just thinking about what it meant. But she clearly wasn't getting anywhere, and she couldn't sleep in that dress.

Not wanting to put any more pressure on his leg tonight, he opted against strapping on his prosthetic and getting up. Instead, he kneeled on the bed to be higher. "Come here."

She sat down before him, and he hesitated for a moment before running his fingers through one of the strands. It was soft, if a little ruffled by all the tugging. Carefully, he set to untangling it, separating tufts of hair from buttons. By the time he was done, her hair had practically come undone, barely holding on to the tie. Almost as if it was loose.

He hesitated for a moment. Then again, if Astrid let him touch her hair, she couldn't mind this much, right?

He took a deep breath and removed the cord of leather holding her hair together. It didn't flow, though, still tied up in the braid, so he set to undoing it slowly. Halfway through, Astrid must've noticed what he was doing, because he felt her inhale deeply, but she made no move to stop him.

At last, her hair was completely loose, falling around her shoulders. He ran his fingers through the silky, golden strands, gently undoing the last knots until it was perfectly straight.

His hands stilled as the full implications of what he was doing hit him. What was he supposed to do now? Let go and pretend like nothing had happened? Somehow, it'd feel like lying. They'd just shared not one, but two rather intimate... parts of themselves with each other. He felt like he should do something else.

xxxx

He thought of the times they'd spent making out, and inspiration hit him. He carefully brushed all of her hair over one shoulder, so he had access to the nape of her neck. And then he pressed a kiss to it. Astrid's breath hitched, and he knew by experience how much she liked that. So he continued, slowly kissing his way to the side of her neck, biting down every now and then for good measure. Astrid let out small noises of pleasure, and one of her hands flew back to grasp at his hair.

For the moment, it was good. But Hiccup found himself wanting more. More of that intimacy they'd just experienced. So hesitantly, giving Astrid a chance to object, he slid his hands forward to her breasts. She gasped, maybe in surprise, maybe it was something _else_ , but either way Hiccup allowed himself to move his hands in circles, massaging them. Soon, he felt her nipples harden underneath the fabric of the dress.

Before he could decide what to do about it, Astrid moved one of his hands higher, to the edge of her cleavage. The dress had some ties there, and he understood. He tugged at them, allowing the dress to fall a little lower. Enough for him to be able to touch her freely now, with no layers between his fingers and her breasts. Her skin was soft, and the moans she made were absolutely _divine_.

Not a minute had passed when Astrid suddenly pushed away from him. He was confused until she tugged at the strips of her dress, letting it fall off her shoulders completely. Then she turned around to face him.

He stared at her exposed chest in awe. Sure, he'd seen drawings of breasts before, but never the actual thing. And maybe he was biased, but hers were beautiful, creamy skin ending in darkened buds that seemed to be just begging for his attention. Astrid allowed him a couple of moments to look at her, then stepped forward and, tangling her hands in his hair, dragged his mouth down to hers. While they kissed, he toyed with her nipples, dragging his nails lightly over them, pinching them, and swallowing Astrid's resulting moans.

Her own hands soon began to wander. They unclasped his cloak, letting it fall to the floor, and then began tugging his tunic up. When it became clear that it wouldn't budge, stuck underneath his belt, she quickly undid that. He didn't expect her to brush over his crotch area, though, and when she did, he gasped into her mouth. She smirked, but went back to his tunic. They parted for a second so that he could pull it up over his head, and then Astrid was pushing him onto the bed. She crawled over him, legs on either side of his, and began kissing him again, this time running her hands down his torso while his own returned to her chest.

He kissed down her jaw, to her neck, and then got an idea. Without detaching his mouth from her skin, he sat up, bringing her up with him as he did.

"Hiccup, what- _oh_. _Yes_."

Astrid interrupted herself when his lips latched on to one of her breasts, his hand playing with the other one. He alternated between sucking, swirling his tongue around her nipple and gently biting it, seeing what got the biggest amount of moans from her. She was blatantly aroused by now, grinding against him mindlessly and letting out a string of half-finished sentences and noises. He himself was in that stage too, his bulge straining against the fine trousers, but he couldn't bring himself to worry about it right now. He was too immersed in what he was doing to her. He switched to her other breast, to give both equal attention.

Suddenly, Astrid grabbed him by the hair and pulled him off her chest. He stared up at her, confused as to why she'd stopped him.

"Hiccup", she said, face serious. "Do you want to go all the way?"

Warmth of a different kind spread through him at the question. Even though it was obvious what she really wanted, she was still giving him the choice. That, more than anything, was what made up his mind.

"Yes."

She smiled. "In that case, clothes off. Now."

She stood up, and he immediately mourned the loss of contact, even as she shimmied out of the dress entirely, leaving her in only underwear. Before he could enjoy the view, she nodded at him.

"Your turn."

Hiccup looked down at his stump. He knew it was ridiculous, given that she'd just been massaging it, but somehow, letting her see it in all its scarred glory felt different. Astrid sighed and leaned forward, lifting his chin with a finger so that he had to look her in the eye.

"Hiccup. I want _all_ of you. Just the way you are." She smiled. "No matter how many limbs you may have."

He gazed at her honest smile for a moment. She meant it, and he knew it. And if he'd trusted her with so many things, surely he could trust her with this.

Kneeling, he reached down for his trousers and began pulling them down. Once they were past his knees, he laid down to finish taking them off. Now he was just like Astrid, down to his underwear. His bulge was even more obvious now.

"Do you want me to go first?" Astrid asked.

He nodded, glad that as always she seemed to be able to read his mind. He leaned up on his elbows and watched, enraptured, as she took down the last piece of clothing that she was wearing. She stood, fully naked, as he took her in. Gods, he'd always thought she was beautiful, but this... this was a whole new level. He felt his manhood twitch with interest.

Astrid took advantage of his distraction to push him back down on the bed and crawl over him to kiss him. As she did, she hooked her fingers in his underwear and leaned back to look at him questioningly. He nodded, and she slowly pulled them down. His erection sprang free, but before he had time to be embarrassed or wonder how he should act, one of Astrid's hands came down to take hold of him.

A strangled moan escaped him. The feeling of a different hand on _him_ was surreal, and she wasn't even moving it.

"You okay?" Astrid asked.

Again, she was making sure she didn't go over any limits. He smiled. "I'm more than okay."

Her expression became mischievous, and she began running her hand up and down the length of him. Hiccup would've been ashamed of the sounds that came out of his mouth if he'd had the presence of mind to care, but all he could think about was how _wonderful_ that felt. His arousal multiplied tenfold, and he could feel the edge beginning to creep closer. A few seconds later, though, she stopped and sat up, and he whined.

"Why did you stop?"

Astrid smiled. "Because I don't want you to come just yet. Not like this anyway."

Hiccup understood. She wanted them to be... _joined_ for that.

"Do you need anything?" he asked her. He knew that if she wasn't aroused, too, it might hurt for her.

"Maybe. Are you offering help?"

"I can _try_. I make no promises though."

Astrid nodded and guided one of his hands between her legs. He moved his fingers carefully, noticing first of all how wet she was already. He brushed a little bump, and she whimpered. Encouraged, he began circling it slowly, drinking in the noises she made. Suddenly, she reached down and pushed his fingers further in, and he was surprised by how tight it was, although thanks to the wetness, they slid in without problem. He moved his fingers deliberately, in and out. Astrid moaned repeatedly, until she suddenly whimpered again, and pulled his hand off.

Hiccup felt a surge of nerves, even if his lower half was more than ready. They were doing this. There was no going back.

"Do you want me to be on top?" she asked, and he nodded. She, at least, knew what she was doing.

She scooted backwards a bit so she was right on top of him, and held herself over him. He felt his tip brush her entrance.

She looked up at him, sending him one last questioning glance. He nodded again, and she began to impale herself on him, inch by inch. As she did, he let out a moan as her wet heat surrounded him. Gods, she was _tight_ , squeezing him, and the sensation was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.

Once he was all the way in, Astrid stopped. He felt the primal instinct to just buck up, but he held back. She seemed a little tense.

"Everything okay?" he asked her, concerned. She nodded distractedly.

"Yeah. Just... it's been a while. It's a little more uncomfortable than I expected." He began to speak, but she cut him off. "Don't worry. It should go away quickly."

Then she rose on her legs, letting him slide halfway out from her, before sinking back down on him. He groaned at the sensation. He felt himself twitch inside her. Felt the urge to thrust up again.

Astrid smiled and leaned forward to whisper by his ear.

"Stop thinking. Just do it."

She repeated the motion of going up and then down, and this time he lifted his hips to meet her own. She gradually increased the speed of her gyrations, riding him while he matched her every thrust. He let himself go, his body knowing what to do, and felt the pleasure coursing through him like fire through his veins. Astrid looked unbelievably beautiful above him, golden hair spread around her shoulders, head thrown back, face flushed. Sweat was gathering on her forehead and between her breasts. Without thinking, he reached up to cup one of them, and she bucked into him suddenly. She gasped out something that he took to mean approval, and he reached for her other breast, repeating the treatment he'd given them earlier. The noises she made added fuel to his arousal, and he realised that he was starting to get closer to that edge.

He managed to convey that to her, somehow.

"I'm close too", she gasped in response. "Just need a little..." She then reached down for the place they were joined, and rubbed at that spot Hiccup had found earlier. Her moans intensified, and Hiccup knew she was getting there. A little more, and then she began thrashing above him, her hips thrusting into him seemingly out of control, his name dropping from her lips over and over. That was more than enough for Hiccup, who for a moment forgot anything else but her as he came inside her, blinding pleasure overcoming his thoughts. He, too, found himself moving his hips randomly as he rode the waves, much higher than anything he could've ever accomplished with his own hand.

Eventually, they both calmed down. They smiled at each other, still panting, and Astrid got off him, letting him slip out of her. Then she lay down next to him.

xxxx

"So?" she asked. "I take it you enjoyed it."

He laughed breathlessly. "That's an understatement." He looked at her. "It seems you enjoyed it, too."

She winked. "You bet I did."

For a few seconds, they didn't move or say anything, just lay in comfortable silence.

"Was it... everything you thought it was?" Astrid asked.

"More, definitely." Whatever he'd imagined it would be like, paled in comparison to the real thing.

"Yeah, for me too."

At that, he looked at her, quirking an eyebrow. "You meaning you'd been thinking about doing this for a long time?"

"Duh. Thought we established that."

Hiccup felt it might be too much to ask, but he was curious. "For how long?"

Astrid bit her lip, thinking. "Hard to say", she told him at last. "But definitely after the first time we fought a bad guy together. After we defeated Drago and then parted ways. Let's just say that I had a whole lot of new fantasies."

Hiccup was surprised at how easily she admitted that. Then again, they _had_ just slept together. "You mean..."

Astrid snorted. "Yes, Hiccup. I did get off to the thought of you. In fact..." she trailed off.

"In fact what?"

"That was the reason I had only slept with four guys before you. After knowing you, well... I tried, once. And I couldn't stop thinking about you, not even when we were right about to... you know. So I stopped the guy. And I never slept with anyone else after that."

Hiccup wasn't sure how to feel. Flattered, he supposed. "Well, I'd be lying if I said that, when I... got off, blonde hair and blue eyes didn't cross my mind. But I never admitted it, not even to myself."

He wasn't sure why he confessed to such a thing. Probably because, since Astrid had just admitted something so personal, he owed it to her to be equally sincere.

Astrid smiled. "Because it was like consorting with the enemy?"

"Kind of. But also... because if I ever had to face you again, I wouldn't be able to look you in the eye."

"Sounds logical." She cuddled against him and whispered in his ear. "Well, now you have permission to use me for your fantasies. Or, you know, I can just make them come true."

"I'll hold you to that, milady."

* * *

 **A/N: So... how was it? The reviews were positive last time, but that was nothing compared to this one and I'm super nervous D:**

 **Also, PSA: the term starts again this week *cries* so updates will be less frequent, I'm afraid. More similar to Phoenix than it's been up to now.**


	11. What runs through your veins

**A/N: You know the drill by now, xxxx means start of smut, until the long line. Also, the part before that has Astrid's thoughts about it, if anyone wants to skip that, too.**

 **In any case, you might have noticed that the rating has been bumped up. But I'll still warn people of incoming smut. After all, it wasn't M-rated when we started, and I don't want anyone to have to drop this story now :)**

* * *

Astrid had been awake for a while now, but she felt too warm and cosy to get up. Her comfort had nothing to do with her bed (she was sleeping on a handful of furs, after all), but rather _who_ she was sharing it with. Hiccup's front was against her back, one hand over her waist and stomach, breath gently ruffling her hair, and Astrid didn't want to move. She'd never have imagined that spooning could be so comforting; it was one of those things that she knew she couldn't have, so she didn't dwell on it. Yet here she was. Somehow, it felt extremely intimate, which was weird, considering they already had far more intimate knowledge of each other.

It had been a few weeks since that wonderful first time, and just thinking about it made her warm up, even if they'd done it many times now. She hadn't felt so scared since her own first time, and even then it had been different. Sure, she'd been hoping to have a good time, but her main objective wasn't really that, and she couldn't care less if the other guy thought she sucked. With Hiccup, it was the complete opposite. She wanted him to enjoy himself, and she wanted him to want her out of his own volition. To not feel like she was pressuring him into it. And for that, she required far more finesse than she'd ever actually tried to achieve.

If Hiccup's reaction was anything to go by, though, she'd definitely succeeded. For her own part, sex with Hiccup had been everything she'd hoped for, and completely different from her experiences so far. She hadn't imagined that doing it with a man she actually cared for would make it that much better, but it had. She felt like she understood why people called it 'make love' now. Even if Hiccup didn't _love_ her. (Not that she knew of, anyway.)

He'd also been far less awkward about the whole thing than she'd expected him to be. The following morning, she'd wondered how he'd act. And while at first he was rather shy when they talked, he grew more confident, ending in them actually doing it again. And that time, he even had the courage to try being on top.

Since then, they'd become more acquainted with each other's bodies, exploring other things they could do. For Astrid, this was as new as for Hiccup, since she'd never tried using her hand, never mind her mouth, on another guy. It was one of those things that could make her look less empowered, so it had always been out of the question. Now, though... she had found, rather to her surprise, that giving Hiccup pleasure was actually enjoyable for her, as well. And Hiccup was just as eager to learn what made her moan, what had her shivering in anticipation of what he might do next. He was great at it too. She'd always known that his fingers were clever; one only had to look at the things they'd created. But she hadn't imagined that it would translate to the bedroom.

xxxx

Speaking of which, said fingers suddenly began moving down from where they were resting on her stomach, slipping under her nightgown.

"Morning", Hiccup mumbled against her ear.

"Morning", she yawned.

He didn't say anything else, but his fingers continued its path downwards until they were right above the line of her underwear.

"Hiccup", she protested, although she could hear the lack of firmness in her own voice.

"What?" he asked in a falsely innocent tone. His fingers slid under the linen, brushing the top of her.

"It's too early for this", she said, even as she settled more decisively against him and made no move to stop his hand.

"Is it?" His thumb brushed _that_ spot and she gasped, involuntarily grinding down against his hand. She could practically _hear_ his smirk, the smug bastard. "I think not."

She gave in to his fingers then, and with practiced ease he began thrusting them in and out of her, stroking her sensitive spot every now and then. She moaned and writhed against him, arousal quickly overcoming any residual sleepiness. Soon, she was chasing the edge, pleasure building inside until she was about ready to burst. Hiccup kissed her neck, biting down and sucking hard, and that was the last straw. Then she was thrashing in his arms, whispering his name between fragments of sentences, mind clear of anything but the utter bliss she was feeling. She was distantly aware of Hiccup removing his fingers.

"You're so beautiful when you come, milady", he told her.

Astrid smiled. Since the first time he'd used her pet name, it had stuck. She quite liked it. She decided to try something.

"You too, babe."

Hiccup gave a short laugh. "Babe?"

"What, you don't like it?" Like him, she'd heard someone call someone else that, and it stuck with her, for whatever reason. If he had a pet name for her, then she wanted to have one for him, too.

"No, it's fine", he assured her. "I just... never pegged you down as the type to find something to call me."

"Well", Astrid turned around to face him, "this is a two-way relationship." She smirked as she reached down and under his trousers. "In everything."

"What about wood-" she grasped him and he practically _squeaked_ the rest of his words "-for the fire?"

"I think we've got plenty of _wood_ right here", she whispered against his lips.

* * *

Later, when they finally got up, they discovered that their dragons, apparently bored at their humans' weird mating rituals, had left. Hiccup went to find them while Astrid gathered the wood for their fire. She prepared the pile, and when the dragons came back, Stormfly immediately lit it up so they could cook breakfast.

They ate in comfortable silence. However, Astrid could tell that Hiccup was thinking about something.

"All right", she said at last, "what is it?"

"What is what?"

"I know that look", she said, pointing at his face. "Something's up." She smirked. "Is it something bad, so you decided to try and get me in a good mood when I woke up?"

He smiled. "No. I just felt like doing that." Then his expression grew more serious. "I've been thinking about where we've been going. I know we said we were going to explore, but... I think I'm ready to go further south. If that's okay with you."

Now she had an inkling of what was happening. "Sure. I'm not tethered to any place, you know that. But if we go to the south..."

"We'll be too far from my parents, yeah." From what Astrid knew, he had sent one or two letters to his parents, although she was sure they were vastly different in content. He didn't have to filter any of their relationship to Valka, after all.

"And you want to visit them?" she asked. She knew that wasn't the real problem; it was what came with that.

"Yeah. And, um, I think that... well..."

"It'd be easier if you were alone", she concluded. It was the only reason why he'd be so sheepish. And it made perfect sense.

"Yes. But only if you're fine with it."

She smiled. "Hiccup, you're not my slave. You're free to come and go as you please. I don't need to follow your every move."

He frowned, confused. Did he seriously expect her to be upset by this? She thought he knew her better than that. Then again, their relationship _was_ closer now. Maybe he thought she might turn into one of those clingy jealous girlfriends.

"You won't be lonely?" he asked, tentatively, and her heart warmed at his thoughtfulness.

"Well, of course I will. I mean, I'll have Stormfly, though I can't talk with her. But it doesn't matter. I think it makes sense. You need to speak with your parents alone. And while your mother may not mind my presence so much, your father certainly will." He nodded. "If this is the last time you speak with Stoick in a while, I'd rather you did it peacefully. No tempers rising." Talking about Hiccup's relationship with his father brought with it a certain sting when she thought of her own father. It always did.

Hiccup, oblivious to her moment of angst, smiled gratefully. "Thanks for understanding", he said.

"No problem. So, when are you leaving then?"

"Umm... right now?"

"Are you in a hurry?" she asked, surprised.

"Well, there's no reason to delay. Besides, I think I'd like to leave with a _great_ memory of us." He winked, and Astrid laughed.

"Fair enough. Do you have provisions?"

"Yeah, I packed Toothless' saddle last night, in case you said yes."

"Very well. Come here."

Their goodbye kiss was longer and more passionate than she meant for it to be. When they finally parted for breath, Astrid turned him around and shoved him in Toothless' direction.

"Go", she said. "Before I decide not to let you leave."

He climbed on the saddle.

"Bye", he said. "See you soon!"

"Bye. And don't jump off your dragon!" she reminded him. He rolled his eyes, but nodded.

Toothless rose, growing smaller, until he was just a small speck in the sky that soon grew out of sight. Stormfly squawked sadly at the loss of her friend, and Astrid patted her flank.

"Don't worry, girl", she told her. "You'll see him again soon."

As she went to put out the fire, she thought about what she'd told him, and the previous fight. She hadn't meant to yell at him, but her anger had got the best of her. That wasn't something that happened to her often; in her previous occupation, she had had to learn to hide her feelings well, and that included controlling her anger. But seeing Hiccup put himself in danger... it made her snap. Later, she'd felt guilty, and she'd apologised. After all, if she were more supportive, Hiccup would let her come. And he had, in fact. He'd done a few more tests, and she'd been there to witness it.

She was simply afraid. She didn't want to lose him, after all. Talking about the pain of losing her father, remembering it, had only made her more determined to keep him safe at all costs. He was sweet, not only understanding, but also supporting her during her weakest moments. Telling the tale of her dad's death had been one such moment. The other one... she tried not to think about too much, because the shame of what she'd done still filled her. Even so, whenever she found her thoughts spiralling down into self-loathing, she remembered his words. That she had to try, and it was all she could do. That she had to learn to watch her own reactions.

She still didn't think she deserved this... this reprieve. She wasn't fully convinced that she was a good person.

But the way Hiccup looked at her sometimes, she could almost believe it.

* * *

Flying back to his mother's home island took longer than he'd expected. It seemed that all the time spent exploring with Astrid had made him misjudge just how far they'd actually got. He was rather relieved when the relatively familiar shape came into view.

Once Toothless landed, he let him run away to play with the other dragons, while he looked for his mother. It didn't take long to find her, tending to a Hobblegrunt's injured paw. She had his back to him, so he cleared his throat. She turned around, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Hiccup?"

He grinned. "Hey, Mum."

"Hiccup!" Her tone was delighted. "I didn't know you were coming!" She stepped forward to hug him, and he gladly returned the embrace. "You didn't say anything in your last letter."

"No, this was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment decision", he admitted as they let go.

"And Astrid?" Valka asked. "I thought you two were together now."

"We are, but we both thought it would be better if I spoke with Dad alone."

Valka's expression darkened, but she just nodded as she finished bandaging the Hobblegrunt's paw. The dragon carefully trotted away.

"Come with me?" she asked. "I have to check if there are any more injured dragons."

"Of course."

As they walked, Valka looked at him. He thought for a second that her eyes had fixated on one spot, but then they were back to normal, and he decided he must've imagined it.

Until she spoke again.

"I'd ask how you and Astrid are doing", she said, humour in her voice, "but if that bruise is anything to judge by, I guess the answer is 'more than all right'."

Hiccup was confused for a second... until he remembered that, the night before he left, Astrid had bit down on him hard and left him with an obvious hickey on his neck. He hadn't really cared, since they rarely spent much time around other people... but he was only now noticing that the flight suit apparently didn't cover it.

Feeling his cheeks warm, he tried to stammer a reply, but failed. Valka laughed.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, son. I mean, you're probably breaking a bunch of societal rules... but you two don't seem to care much for those, anyway."

"It's... a fairly recent development", he admitted. "A couple of weeks."

"So little time?" He looked at her, confused. "When you visited me, you two seemed so close... I know you told me then that it wasn't like that, but I always assumed it happened some time later after that."

"Uhh... no. It was still all very complicated."

"Well", Valka shrugged, "if she makes you happy, then that's what really matters, I suppose."

"Yes, she does", he said with a smile. "Anyway, enough about me. What about you?"

"Well, Einar has been staying here, remember? It's been quite a change."

They spent a few hours talking about this and that. Valka showed him the new dragons that had showed up, and told him about Einar. From the way she talked, it sounded like she found him mildly annoying at times, but still liked him. The boy himself wasn't at the island then, having left to get some supplies. Hiccup, in turn, told her about the places he and Astrid had visited.

Finally, he broached the topic of going further south.

"I'll miss you", she said, "but if it makes you happy, that's what you should do."

"I'll still try to visit", he insisted. "Even if it's less frequently."

"I know."

He helped with the feeding of some of the youngest dragons, and finally decided he couldn't keep putting it off any longer.

"I think it's time for me to go."

The trepidation in his voice must have been clear, because Valka smiled. "Let me guess, you're going to visit your father now?"

"Yeah", he admitted. "And I don't know how he'll react to any of this."

"Do you want my advice?" his mother asked, smirking. Strange.

"Yes."

"Cover _that_ up", she said, pointing to his bruise. "Stoick will go crazy if he sees that."

He blushed, but nodded. "I will. Any other wisdom?"

"Sadly, no. You'll just have to be patient."

"I know."

They hugged, and then Hiccup called Toothless, who reluctantly came over. He had fun here, having so many other members of his species around, and didn't like leaving. Hiccup climbed on him.

"Goodbye, Mum. I'll try to write as soon as I can."

"I know you will. Goodbye, Hiccup."

He waved at her as Toothless rose. And as he lost sight of her smiling face, he thought that with her, at least, he'd made the right choice.

Yes, she was alone (excluding Einar). But that was the way she wanted it to be.

* * *

Stoick grunted with the effort of heaving a log up so the men above him could grab on to it. Building a new beam in a house was no easy task, and as the chief, he had to help. He'd had the help of Skullcrusher to bring it all the way to the house from the forest, but the large dragon couldn't exactly fit in. Plus, even if it could, no dragon had enough room to fly inside a hut. So the rest of the manual labour fell to the villagers.

The people soon had the log secured and began working on the beam. Stoick excused himself and left. Before he could go home, though, he saw Fishlegs running towards him.

"What is it, Fishlegs?"

"Chief!" He panted for air. "The Jorgensons asked to see you, sir."

Stoick instantly tensed. Although Spitelout kept a respectful distance and sometimes even made comments with the clear purpose of drawing him out of his shell, he was weary. His relationship with the man had never been easy, and so he wasn't sure if he did it out of real worry or if it was something else.

Everyone seemed to be standing on tiptoes around him lately, not sure how to act. They chose each word carefully so as to avoid provoking his anger, which got out of hand more easily these days. Some people stared at him with pity, while others (particularly the elders) wore smug looks that he sometimes wanted to punch right off their stupid faces.

He couldn't, though. Because, as smug as they were, they were also forced to recognise his authority fully once again. They couldn't question what he'd done, when they were the ones who had been calling for such actions. They had no choice but to support him now. That was a silver lining, he supposed.

It was exactly what Hiccup had wanted when he told him that he had to be banned from the village.

The announcement had caught people off-guard, especially with the way he'd been defending Hiccup up to that point. The words had seemed to burn his throat as he spoke them, and he'd found himself almost choking them out. It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. People had been disbelieving. He'd just reiterated his statement, the second time every bit as difficult as the first. Only then had it begun to sink in.

He'd immediately retreated to his home then, before they started asking questions he didn't want to answer. He'd already shed tears for his son back at the cliff, but now he'd found he had a few more left.

Gobber eventually forced his way in later, when Stoick had already calmed down. The chief related the conversation he'd had with Hiccup, and how he was leaving. His second-in-command saw the logic in what he was doing, although he seemed just as torn up about it. Then he'd left him alone.

And that was what he'd been ever since. Alone.

There was no other living being when he walked into his home. No noises that indicated that someone was there. Some nights, the loneliness got so unbearable that he'd slip out and go to sleep with Skullcrusher, who slept at the stables because he was too big to fit anywhere else. The dragon couldn't speak, but he could croon sympathetically. And he listened to his rants, even if he didn't understand them.

Sometimes he also spoke to Gobber, but only rarely. The blacksmith was worried enough about him as it was, and he had his own grief to deal with, too. It was only after a while, when Stoick was able to reign his pain in enough to look past it, that he saw how Gobber had retreated into himself. He no longer sung in the smithy. Seemed to make less inappropriate remarks. Smiled less.

Just like Stoick.

Most of the people who'd apparently been scared of Hiccup had taken care not to show their relief, at least not that he knew. He appreciated the show of respect. The others just went on with their lives, although they'd sometimes glance at the smithy or the chief's house and notice the lack of light in either of those places.

If Stoick hadn't been chief, he might've began drinking. Just to ease his pain. But he had responsibilities. He couldn't do that.

So he shouldered the load. It was the only thing that he could do.

"Chief?" Fishlegs asked, and he realised he'd spaced out.

"I'm going", he sighed, and began walking. It didn't take long to get to his destination. Fortunately, Spitelout merely asked him about a rather trivial matter, and he was able to leave quickly. On his way out, he met Snotlout, who greeted him normally and then walked into his house.

The one consolation he had in all of this, was that the dragon riders were the only ones who didn't walk on eggshells around him, speaking to him as they always did. (Except Fishlegs, but he'd always acted scared of him so it made no difference, really.) And one night, he'd overheard a conversation between them. Each of them had stated that they didn't understand what Hiccup had done to be banned, and still considered him a friend. He left when the twins began coming up with preposterous scenarios to explain his son's fate, though.

When he walked through his door, he immediately noticed something was different, and it took him a few seconds to realise what it was: a Terrible Terror was sitting on the table, licking its paw.

A green Terror he knew well to be Hiccup's.

* * *

Hiccup waited anxiously, not knowing how long his dad was going to take. He'd asked him to meet at the same cliff than last time, and he hoped he'd get the message soon enough. Toothless was bounding up and down with excitement. He wished he could share in the feeling, but too many other things were running through his head.

A few minutes later, he spotted a large figure running towards him. The man didn't stop until he'd reached him, and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hiccup!"

"Hey, Dad", he wheezed out.

It took a few more seconds for Stoick to put him down.

"I'm so happy to see you!" He petted his dragon's head, who'd been nudging him. "And you, Toothless."

"Me too", he grinned. "You have been getting my letters, right?" Judging from his reaction, it seemed like he hadn't.

"Of course, but it's not the same as seeing you person." Well, that was true.

"I know, I know. But I'm here."

Stoick's grin dissolved. "But not permanently, am I right?"

Hiccup shook his head. "Sorry, Dad. I still stand by what I said last time." He looked at the familiar shape of Berk, and felt a pang of longing. This had been his home for so many years... but he knew what would happen if he walked into it now.

"Berk's not the same without you, son." Stoick's voice was quiet.

"I know, I know. I imagine the twins get up to even more trouble without me there to stop them."

His father didn't smile. "You know what I mean. I miss you. So does Gobber. And your friends, who by the way don't believe you're guilty, wonder what happened to you."

"You can't tell them, though. None of them are very good at keeping secrets." Fishlegs caved easily under pressure, and Gobber, Snotlout and the twins had no filter when speaking.

"I'm well aware of that."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"So, other than that, how have things been here?" Hiccup asked. "And let's continue this conversation somewhere else." He wanted to walk around, even if he didn't get to see the town. He missed this place.

They ended up at the cove, while his father filled him in. The people were doing fine, having got over the news of his banishment quickly, and not much of particular interest had happened. Snotlout and Fishlegs were still fighting for Ruffnut's hand, and apparently the Thorston family hadn't decided which one they preferred yet.

Afterwards, it was quiet for a few seconds.

"What about you, son?"

Hiccup proceeded to tell him about the new places they'd visited. He tried to keep Astrid out of the tale as much as he could, so as to avoid seeing the frown that immediately passed Stoick's face when he mentioned her. Considering how they spent most of their time together, that was difficult. However, it seemed like his father wasn't so angry at her anymore. It was like he'd given up. Which was worse, in a way.

"So, things are good."

"Yeah. I don't have to pretend. I don't have to tiptoe around people. We're both strangers, and nobody pays much attention to us. I never knew just how relieving that could be."

"Don't the dragons attract attention, though?"

"We never bring them with us into town for that exact reason. Plus, we can't know if there are any dragon hunters out there. We'd rather not find out."

"I see." He paused. "And are things good with Hofferson? I mean..."

"We don't have to talk about it", Hiccup immediately stopped him. He could tell his father didn't actually want to bring her up.

"But it sounds like... she's such a big part of your life now, son. And I can't ignore that."

"She's... fine. Trying to be a better person. Sometimes, it's not so easy. But I understand her better now."

Stoick huffed, but said nothing.

"Look, Dad. I know you think people like her can't change. But there's someone great underneath the violent exterior. And I hope some day you can see that." He shook his head. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I missed you. And because... we're going further south. I won't be able to visit often."

Stoick sighed. Again, it was like he'd given up. "Why?"

"Because I'd like to see something different. Isn't that the point of exploring, after all?"

"I suppose."

Hiccup squinted at the sun. He hated to leave on such a depressing note, but he had to get back.

"Well, it's time for me to go."

"So soon?"

"I think it's been a few hours, actually. I'm surprised nobody came looking for you."

"Only because they didn't know where to look." They both got up and Hiccup called Toothless, who was napping nearby. The dragon got up and came to them.

"So..." Stoick said. "This is goodbye, I suppose."

"Not forever", Hiccup pointed out.

"I know, but still." He petted Toothless. "Look after him, dragon."

Hiccup hugged his father for a few moments. He found himself wishing there was something he could do to help him. Truly help him.

"Bye, Dad." He climbed on Toothless.

"Goodbye, son."

Toothless gained altitude, and Hiccup thought about how his father seemed to be a shadow of his former, energetic self. He hated it.

But there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

 **A/N: Just like Hiccup, I, too, hate to end this chapter on such a depressing note. I'd like to clarify that Hiccup doesn't regret what he did, but he does regret causing his father pain.**


	12. Somebody to love

"So, what are these? A kind of stone?" the woman tending to the stall asked. She was holding one of Toothless' scales, inspecting it with a careful eye.

"Yes", Astrid lied. She didn't know if these people from the south knew about dragons, and she'd rather play it safe. "They grow in some caves in the coldest parts. I think something about the intense temperature makes them turn that way."

"How could the ice do this?"

"I don't know", she shrugged. "But it also makes them shiny, and malleable enough that we can cut them into smaller shapes. Like this one."

"Why not just leave it whole, though?"

"They're easier to carry in a pocket without being noticeable", she explained. It sounded feasible.

The woman nodded. "So, how many of these do you carry?"

Astrid smiled and produced a small bag, showing her the contents. "Quite a few. I bet you could probably sell them to a wealthy person for a good price."

"Fair enough. What do you want?"

Astrid started picking some items that would be useful, as well as provisions. They'd travelled so far that their original stock had run out by now. They still had coins, but they had discovered, rather to their dismay, that the people here used a different kind, so they didn't accept theirs. And the stones they still had were _too_ valuable. So valuable, in fact, that they'd already suffered two robbery attempts. After that, they understood it was just too dangerous to use them.

Fortunately, they'd made an accidental discovery. Somehow, one of Toothless' scales had ended up on Hiccup's clothes when they went into a market, and traders kept asking about what it was. Eventually, they made up an explanation, and they were able to get a fair deal in exchange for the scale. Even better, because they looked so small and not particularly valuable, unwanted people didn't seem to take an interest.

Once they were done, Astrid shouldered the bag with her purchase and thanked the woman. As she did, a few faces turned around to look at her; she ignored them and started walking to find Hiccup.

She knew why they stared; she spoke Norse. Another aspect of coming down south that they hadn't considered was the fact that different languages existed here, and not everyone knew Norse. More than once, they'd found themselves unable to communicate with a trader or with a tavern waitress due to that block. And the further south they went, the less common their language was. Some of the smallest islands they'd visited didn't seem to have a single person who spoke Norse. Astrid had already started looking for anyone who could teach them Latin, because it was clear that they'd need it.

While she walked, she soon began to feel sweat on her skin. The further south they went, the warmer the weather. Astrid had long ago ditched her fur boots in favour of lighter boots, and she'd stopped using her hood and her bracers altogether. There was no need for them here, not even when they were flying and the wind was whipping past them. Hel, those moments felt like a reprieve from the constant heat. Hiccup rarely wore his flight suit these days, simply because, in his own words, he felt like he was being boiled alive. In a way, he had it worse, seeing as many of his clothes were leather. He'd replaced most with lighter fabrics.

She went on. It didn't take her long to find Hiccup, who was getting some materials he needed to work on Toothless' tail.

"Hey", she said, walking up to him. "How's it going?"

"Pretty well, I think. They're getting my things ready." He wrapped an arm around her waist. "You?"

"Got everything", she answered, showing him the bag. "We should be good for a while."

Her top rode up a little, just enough that Hiccup's fingers were on bare skin now. She tried hard to ignore the cold sensation stemming from the ring in his hand. She also tried not to stare at the matching ring in her own hand.

She tried not to think about how much she'd like for those rings to be _real_.

* * *

Coming further into the south, it was obvious that there were some cultural differences with the north. The language, the different temperature, even the clothes' styles. In general, Hiccup felt like these people tended to be more pacific than Vikings. He hadn't seen many fights, and everyone seemed to have a lot of interests, like art, that didn't exist in their archipelago.

However, there was one thing that was radically different, and not for the better.

In the north, a man and a woman travelling together with no apparent compromise would've raised a few eyebrows, but nothing more. Here, it felt like they were constantly being scrutinised, every time they reserved a room at an inn or ate together in a tavern. Eyes would always fly towards their hands, and when they saw no rings, they would turn judgemental in a heartbeat.

After a while, he was sick of it. He made an off-handed comment to Astrid, who agreed with him. Then, with what was clearly a carefully-crafted casual tone, she'd suggested that maybe he should make some rings for them to wear. Just to get people off their backs.

He knew her well enough by now to know that she felt anything but _casual_ about it, but he chose not to press her about it. Plus, it was an actually good idea. So, the next time he'd had access to a forge, he'd made the rings. The first time they tried them on, neither made any comment about it. It was unlike them, really, and he thought the reason they didn't talk was because they didn't know what to say. Hiccup had never really thought about marriage in anything other than abstract terms, and Astrid... if he had to guess, she'd never allowed herself to consider it.

Was she considering it now? Hel, was _he_ considering it? He didn't know. Logically, it did seem like the next step in their relationship. But that didn't sound like a good reason.

He remembered telling his father that he wanted to marry for love. And that brought with it an important question: did he _love_ Astrid? Sure, he cared about her more than anyone else. He wanted her to be safe, and happy, no matter the cost. But he had no idea if that was what love was supposed to be like.

He also remembered that time they'd danced together, just before sleeping together for the first time. The way he'd felt, like she was the centre of his world right at that moment. Was that love?

He didn't know. And he wanted to be certain. But he didn't have anyone to ask. Not his father, obviously. Maybe his mother, but she'd left Stoick for twenty years. He may not condemn her actions, but he definitely didn't hold her up as an example of love.

"Hiccup?" Astrid's voice brought him back to reality.

He blinked and looked at her. "What?"

"You zoned out", she informed him.

"Oh. Sorry."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Just...what I have to do with Toothless' tail."

She smiled. "You've always been the creative one, babe. I believe in you."

He smiled at the pet name. He'd been a bit startled when she first used it, but now she dropped it all the time. He liked it.

Her words also made him feel guilty to hide his actual thoughts, but it was the way it had to be. When he told her the three words, he wanted to be absolutely sure of his feelings.

* * *

After a few hours at the forge, the new improvements for Toothless' tail were ready to be tried. However, because in these islands the forest areas weren't big, it was almost impossible to fly without being seen. So Hiccup waited until nightfall, when there would be less chance of anybody spotting them.

He went back to the inn to tell Astrid, but she wasn't there. Obviously she hadn't finished whatever errands she was running yet. So he wrote a note explaining where he was, and then he left.

As he walked along the street, he saw something he'd never seen before. Men in groups of two and three, heavily armed and all dressed with the exact same clothes; obviously a uniform. These must be those so-called soldiers. When Hiccup and Astrid had first seen people like them, they had been afraid that they might be Dragon Hunters. But then, they were told that their job was to maintain order. While they were familiar with guards in places like dungeons, they didn't understand why it was necessary for people to patrol the streets. After all, in the north, a soldier was somebody who fought for an army. And if someone on the street was doing something bad, anybody could stop them until the guards arrived. Not so much here, though. Apparently, many people were unaccustomed to fighting, and so preferred to call the soldiers and stay out of the situation.

Anyway, the soldiers looked serious and their expressions made it clear that crossing them would be a bad idea, so he stayed out of their way. He wondered what was with the extra patrolling, but didn't think anything of it.

He left the edge of town, and began walking across the forest. Reaching Toothless shouldn't take long; it was a short way. It was a dark, moonless night. Perfect for flying unseen, but terrible to trudge through the forest. So he took Inferno out to light his way. It didn't allow him to see far away, but at least it prevented him from tripping with any roots or rocks. With it, he found the clearing where his Night Fury was hiding easily enough.

It took him far too long to realise that it was eerily quiet. _Too_ quiet.

Stormfly was hiding in another forest, far from them, but Toothless should've heard him coming by now. He should've warbled or something.

Hiccup couldn't see past the bubble of light that Inferno created, so he stepped forward, trying to find him. His dark shape came into view... but he wasn't facing him. One more step, and he realised that there was a net trapping him.

He stopped immediately, but before he could decide what to do, a hand came out of nowhere and knocked Inferno away from his own. Immediately, the hand grasped his arm and twisted it behind him. Another hand grabbed his other arm, forcing him to his knees and effectively immobilising him.

Someone else took Inferno from the floor and stood in front of him. A large man.

"Hello, _Hiccup_ ", he spat. Hiccup frowned.

"How do you know my name?" The man was dressed in soldier clothes. Why would he know him?

Then he remembered that they'd trapped Toothless. Who knew how to do that here, in the south? He understood, and rage filled him.

"You're Dragon Hunters."

"That's right, and we don't appreciate you and your girlfriend coming and destroying our jobs."

"So let me guess, you're going to take it out on me?"

"Yes, but not right now." He smirked. "First, you're going to get to see how we decapitate your precious dragon."

Hiccup's eyes widened as the man gestured. Two other soldiers came out of the shadows and hauled Toothless around so they were face to face. He'd been muzzled, and his expression was one of pure rage... until he saw Hiccup. Then his pupils widened in concern.

"Hey, bud", Hiccup said. "I'll get you out of this." How, though? Whoever was holding him down had a strong grip; he didn't think he could break out. And he could see someone bringing an axe to the man who still held Inferno. They exchanged weapons, and the one holding the axe grinned at him.

"His head will make quite the trophy, don't you think? Of course, being so far to the south, it'll be hard to find a buyer. But we'll manage."

The axe rose, and Hiccup felt panic grip him. He had to do something, and he had to do it _now_.

He kicked out with his prosthetic against the one holding him. He grunted, but didn't budge.

Before desperation could take over him, though, there was a _swoosh_ and then the Hunter with the axe groaned. Hiccup looked up and saw something that had gone straight through his chest. The colours weren't very clear, but it seemed to be blue in one end, orange in the other.

A Deadly Nadder spine.

He looked up, but between the trees and the lack of light, the darkness was impenetrable. The Hunter dropped the axe and clutched at his chest. The pressure on his arms lifted slightly as the man holding him panicked, obviously wondering what he should do. Hiccup took his chance and kicked him again, and this time the man loosened his grip enough for him to escape. He rolled away and got up, assessing the situation. The guy who'd been holding him was on the floor clutching his foot, while the one with Inferno was waving it around, trying to see the attacker. The one who'd been threatening Toothless had fallen and was choking on his blood. Hiccup quickly averted his gaze and looked at his dragon instead. He had begun to thrash around, and the two soldiers holding him were trying to keep him at bay.

Hiccup had no idea how many men might be hiding in the shadows, or when Astrid would strike again, but he didn't have time to ponder it. He needed his sword, now. He launched himself at the man who had it, hoping to knock him to the ground, but he underestimated him. The man was startled and tripped, but immediately recovered his balance and swung at him. Hiccup had to duck to dodge, and backed away a step, trying to find an opening.

Before he could, someone came from behind and trapped his arms _again_. He had no idea if it was the same guy as before, and it didn't matter. He watched as the man with Inferno came up to him, rage in his face.

"You know what? Screw this. I'm ending _you_ first."

He lifted Inferno over his head, and Hiccup's eyes widened. He tried to duck, but the person holding him switched his grasp so that one of his hands held both of his, and the other one grabbed his head. He had him immobilised. There was nothing Hiccup could do.

Nothing.

He locked eyes with Toothless, and he saw the agony in his dragon's face as he saw what was about to happen. He sighed, and thought about Astrid. She was probably close by... but she wouldn't get here in time. Ultimately, her effort would've accounted for nothing.

He couldn't see her like he could see Toothless, so he pictured her in his head. He thought of all the beautiful times they'd had together. He thought of the shot that had let him know she was here... and realised that she had tried to protect Toothless at all costs, even sacrificing her cover. She obviously cared about _him_ more than she did his dragon... but his Night Fury was important to him, so he was important to _her_. She had made sure to keep the thing he loved most, safe. Because that was the kind of person she was. The person he'd always seen in her, and the one he'd tried to bring to the surface. It seemed he'd succeeded.

And in that one moment, he could see it with absolute clarity.

He loved her.

Too bad he'd never get to tell her.

"Look at me", the man with Inferno spat, and his head was turned back to his soon-to-be-killer. The man's lips twisted in a sneer, and the sword began descending...

...until, with a resounding _clang_ , an axe came out of nowhere, blocking it. The man didn't have time to react before the axe (or rather, the hands holding it) did a twist that ripped Inferno from his grasp. It dropped on the floor, next to Hiccup, but he didn't even look down. He was too busy watching Astrid.

The blonde slammed her axe on the disarmed soldier's head, and turned to Hiccup without even looking as the man dropped. The guy holding Hiccup let go of his head, presumably to reach for a weapon, but Astrid struck the man's arm and then his head, and Hiccup was free once more. He reached for Inferno before getting up.

"Thanks", he smiled at her, letting his feelings consume him for a moment.

He _loved_ her. He was sure now.

But it wasn't an appropriate moment to tell her.

"You're welcome", she smiled back, and they both turned to the soldiers still struggling to restrain Toothless. They were so distracted, they didn't even notice the other two coming until it was too late. Within seconds, they were unconscious, and Toothless was freed. The dragon lunged at Hiccup, licking him from head to toe. His rider laughed.

"Hey, bud. I'm happy you're all right, too." He hugged his head.

A squawk suddenly rung out, and Stormfly appeared on the scene, too. She nudged Toothless, and they rubbed their heads together in a clearly affectionate way.

"Sorry I took so long", Astrid said, turning to him. "I had to take that guy down because, well, he would've killed Toothless and I didn't have time to do anything else. After that, though, I thought I could get off Stormfly and get to you immediately. That way, I wouldn't have to kill anyone else." She grimaced. "I should've guessed that they'd have men around the clearing. We fought them off, of course, but in the meantime... You were weaponless, and it was easy for them to catch you again. I should've realised that."

"You had other things in mind", he smiled. "I get it. And you managed to get us both out, so..."

"At the last second." She shuddered. "If I had taken even one more moment to reach you..."

"But you didn't", he said firmly. "And I'm okay. So there's no point dwelling in it."

She sighed. "I guess you're right."

"How did you even know to be here, anyway?"

"I saw some of the hunters when I was getting back to the inn. I knew they'd remember us, so I went to check on Stormfly, and then thought that, since Toothless was closer to town, they might have found him, if they were looking. So I came to check. Good thing I did."

"But... how did you recognise them as hunters?" Hiccup would've never guessed that some of the soldiers he saw were, in fact, Dragon Hunters.

She smiled. "I have a great memory."

"Do you seriously remember _all_ of the Hunters?"

"I try to. Information has always been critical for my survival, after all. And even though I'm not living that life anymore... remembering the faces of those who might have reason to harm us seems like a good idea."

"Yeah, no kidding." He looked around. Lots of unconscious men and one corpse. "So, what are we going to do about them?"

"We get out of here, and fast. Soldiers have protection; when they find out _we're_ the ones who attacked them..."

"What if they try to follow us?" He'd left the life of looking over his shoulder behind. He wasn't eager to return to it.

"I don't think they will. They don't have the means. They'd have to ask permission from their generals or whatever. Although, if they say we're bandits, they might get people searching for us... And we can't allow that to happen. Unless we discredited them..." She trailed off and then nodded to herself. "Yeah, that could work."

"What?"

She smirked. "Watch."

She took something from Stormfly's saddle, a small barrel. She began dropping its contents on the soldiers, impregnating them with the smell of mead. She took their weapons and scattered them around them, and Hiccup understood. She was trying to make it seem like they'd got drunk and fought. Behaviour that would get them fired from their jobs, no doubt.

Astrid stood over the corpse with a grim expression. She sighed.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just, this will be gross." She proceeded to remove the spine from the man's body with an unpleasant crunch. Then, taking a sword from one of the men, she inserted it in the wound.

Like she'd said, it was gross. But they couldn't have a Nadder spine giving them away. Hiccup retrieved a waterskin from Toothless' saddle and helped her wash her hands and the spine.

"Well", Astrid said, "now that that's done, we should probably leave. Good thing we haven't paid for tonight yet. We would've wasted coins."

"Camp?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yup."

* * *

They had just finished dinner and were putting out the fire, when out of nowhere Astrid hugged him fiercely. He hugged her back instinctively.

"You okay?" he murmured into her hair. He rubbed his hands up and down her back; she was shivering.

"I just... I was _so_ close to losing you today."

"I thought I told you not to dwell on it."

"I know. But with the rush of running away and everything, I didn't really think about it. Now that I do... it feels much more real."

"Hey." He ran his fingers through her hair. "You didn't lose me, okay? And honestly, we just had bad luck today. It's unlikely we're going to face such a situation again."

"I hope you're right." She pulled away. "Let's finish up."

They put everything in order and then went into the tent. As soon as they were lying down on the fur, Astrid climbed on top of him, straddling him, and kissed him. He returned it, and could feel her desperation in how much force she was using. Her lips moved against his like she needed to make sure he was still breathing.

After a few seconds, she pulled away, panting.

"I want to forget, for tonight", she mumbled. "Make me forget."

He smiled. "I will, milady. But before that... I have something to tell you." The words tumbled out of his mouth without thought that maybe this wasn't the right time. Too late.

"Oh? What's that?"

 _No backing away now._ He brushed her cheek fondly. "I love you", he said earnestly.

Astrid sat up straight, staring at him. She seemed confused. "What?"

"I love you", he repeated.

She didn't say anything, but continued to look at him. Her confusion gave way to surprise and then, slowly, her eyes brightened.

Suddenly she leaned down and kissed him again, but this time it was much sweeter. When she pulled away, her eyes were shining, and he realised with amazement that it wasn't just because of happiness.

"And I love you", she told him. "Gods, _I love you_."

His heart suddenly felt like it had been filled with air and was about to burst out of his chest. At the same time, it was like it was being squeezed, leaving him breathless.

Astrid didn't seem to be able to speak anymore, either, so he did the only thing he could think of and pressed his lips to hers.

No more words were necessary, after all.

* * *

 **A/N: Was that cheesy? Probably. Do I care? No. 100% self-indulgent Hiccstrid. I warned you guys.**

 **Anyway, sadly, the semester has fully begun now, and it might be a busy one. So the schedule is going to be more like once a week than what it's been up to now. Or maybe even longer (hopefully not).**


	13. Hit rock bottom

" _Miss Hofferson, please!" The man was shaking with terror, pleading with her. Two of her guards were holding him in place._

" _No", Astrid shook her head. "A deal's a deal. You knew what would happen if you didn't hold your end of it."_

" _Please, miss, they offered me a lot of gold. The weather ruined my crops, and I was desperate, I never meant to-"_

" _But you did", she cut him off coldly. "And in this kind of business, intentions are worthless. You betrayed me, and that's the end of it."_

 _She nodded at her guards, and they began dragging him off towards the cliff. One of them pulled out a dagger. She'd learned long ago that usually, a knife straight to the heart was the fastest, least painful option. Obviously, she didn't offer such mercy to just anyone; it depended on the depth of the betrayal._

 _But this was a minor one, so she was feeling generous enough for that._

 _He continued screaming at her, pleading for her to forgive him, to give him another chance... but she just stared at him. Finally, he seemed to realise that it was pointless, and switched tactics._

" _Curse you!" he spat at her. "I hope you die horribly and painfully. You're nothing but a cruel, heartless bitch..."_

 _And as he said those words, his face suddenly changed, and it was Hiccup, staring at her with hatred and disgust the likes of which she'd never seen in his face before._

" _...and you'll never find anyone who will care for you! You will die alone, and that's what a monster like you deserves!"_

 _She recoiled in shock, and then one of his guards was poising the dagger._

" _NO!"_

 _She stepped forward, horrified, trying to stop it, but she was too slow, and the dagger penetrated Hiccup's heart. His green eyes clouded over in pain, and then his head lolled, lifeless._

 _She would've screamed, but she couldn't find her voice. Instead, she fell to the ground, sobbing, letting her grief consume her..._

"Astrid? Astrid!"

She gasped and jolted awake. She blinked, trying to make sense of her surroundings, wondering why everything looked so blurry... until she felt the tears spilling over her cheeks. She made to wipe them, but another hand beat her to it, thumbs gently brushing over her skin. She blinked once more, and Hiccup's face became visible to her then. He was leaning over her, expression clearly concerned.

"Hey", he said softly. He didn't ask if everything was okay, because it obviously wasn't. She realised he'd taken hold of one of her arms; he'd probably shaken her awake.

"Hey", she mumbled. "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up." _Again_.

"Astrid", he said, and his voice was deadly serious. "This has been the third time in, what? A week? Something's wrong. You've never had nightmares before."

"I have. You weren't there." She was trying to evade him, and they both knew it.

"That's not my point. I'm not blind, you know. This started when..." he trailed off.

 _When I killed that Hunter to protect Toothless_ , she thought. That was the first time since travelling with Hiccup that she'd very intentionally made the choice to kill. And it had turned out to be worse, far worse than the time she killed that addict. Because that time, she didn't think, she just acted. This time, it had been deliberate, and even if it had been the only thing she could do, it still made her feel ill.

She hadn't understood why she reacted that way, until the first nightmare. It had been much like this one; remembering one of the many times she'd killed someone in her job, and that person turning into Hiccup at the last second.

Then she got it. It was everything she'd ever done, coming back to haunt her. She'd made the deliberate choice of ending people's lives, more times than she could count. She had suppressed the feeling of guilt in the past, telling herself that, eventually, she'd get killed herself one day, and then it would be even. That none of the people she killed were better than her, and they all deserved to die anyway.

But now, here she was, pretending to be good when she carried all this baggage with her. And the baggage was starting to make its presence known to her.

"Astrid", Hiccup spoke.

"What?"

"Don't... don't brush this off, please. You've told me so many times not to bottle things up. The same applies to you. I think you need to talk about whatever's happening to you."

She sighed. "You're relentless, aren't you?" The first two times, he'd been too tired to suggest anything. She'd cuddled up against him and promptly gone back to sleep. Third time was the charm, indeed.

He smiled, although it was strained. "Especially where you're concerned, milady."

"It's the middle of the night."

"And I think we can both agree that, after an awakening like that, there's no going back to sleep. So come on."

He used his hold on her arm to help her up, and then they both stepped out of the tent. Of their fire, there were mere ambers left, but since it was pretty warm, they didn't need more. They huddled down by it, and Hiccup looked at Astrid expectantly.

She took a deep breath. "It's just... I had to make a choice to kill that guy, because he would've beheaded Toothless otherwise." They both glanced towards the dragon, who was sleeping with Stormfly nearby. "And while that was a necessary choice, it reminded me of all the other times I made it. Times that, I must admit, weren't nearly as desperate, yet I did it anyway. To establish dominance, or whatever." She sighed. "I knew I wasn't a god, I had no power to decide who lived and who died, but I didn't care. I always figured... that it was fine, because they were people who did bad things, just like me. Sometimes even worse. If I didn't kill them, someone else would, eventually. And the same could happen to me. It seemed like a fair deal."

Hiccup seemed shocked. "You thought you might get killed, doing what you did?"

"Of course I did. I mean, I always tried to be ready for every eventuality, but I knew that, one day, I might just be unlucky. I'd made my peace with that. Do things that aren't _that_ bad but aren't good either, die because of it. It would be my punishment. And at least I would know I'd never harmed any innocents. But now..."

Hiccup watched her warily. "Is this about what you... _deserve_ again?"

"You could say so. I was able to calm my consciousness with the prospect of atonement, one day. But that's not really going to happen anymore, is it? Unless I get really unlucky and run into an old enemy or something, I'm going to grow old. When I die, it probably won't be tragic. There won't be any punishment for me, not in that sense."

"I don't understand why you think you _have_ to be punished."

"Because that's the way it works, Hiccup. People who do bad things always pay in the end. If they don't in this life, then they go to Hel. So if I want to avoid that, I need to compensate for what I did." She smiled bitterly. "And I did a _lot_."

Hiccup tried to speak, but she interrupted him. "I know that you think I'm a good person deep down. And maybe I am, but it doesn't deny everything that I did. I can't just ignore it. If I want to move on and be someone normal, then I need to stare my... wrongdoings in the face. I have to confront them, and do something about it. To me, that means having to make up for it. And if the gods have deemed it fit that I lose sleep, then I'll take it. I'll go through whatever I have to."

Hiccup meditated. "That... sounds reasonable, I guess. I mean, when I killed people, I felt pretty bad about it, so I suppose I can't blame you if that's what you think you have to do."

After a moment's hesitation, he scooted closer and brushed her cheek, smiling. "Just remember, you don't have to do this alone. I'm here for you, whatever you need. If you decide that your punishment should be... I don't know, feeding every beggar on every island, I'll go with you."

She managed to laugh. "Yeah, I don't think I'll do that. It sounds like it'd take my whole life, and I only need to make up for a couple of years."

He leaned in. "Anything."

She closed the distance between them. While they kissed, she remembered how he'd told her he loved her, just a week ago. How she'd thought she must have misheard him, and then her absolute elation, because that was what she'd wanted for so long, yet never dared to think she'd get. It was all she ever asked for, really. Someone she loved, and who would love her back. Telling him the three words had felt like sweet relief, after biting them down for so long. Not having to hold back any more was fantastic.

They were opposites in so many things, but somehow he'd still been able to fall in love with her. Despite his extreme dislike of her when they'd first met. Despite the fact that they were on different sides of the law. Despite everything she'd done that he'd witnessed. His forgiveness knew no bounds. Really, it was part of the reason why she thought she deserved punishment; since her change of life, she'd got many things she wanted, and not one of them was negative. And the more she received now, the worse off she'd be in the afterlife, and the more she'd have to pay for.

She was waiting for the hammer to fall, and she'd rather it did sooner rather than later.

Nightmares seemed like an unusually low price. She was convinced there had to be more coming her way.

When it did, she'd face it. But in the meantime, she'd be a fool not to take advantage of what had been given to her.

So she grasped Hiccup's collar and pulled him down with her. He only wore a light tunic to sleep, which made it much easier for her to begin lifting it up, dragging her fingernails over his stomach.

Hiccup broke apart from her lips and kissed his way down to her neck.

"Shouldn't we at least get to the furs?" he mumbled, even as his hands reached under her nightgown.

"Too far", she replied, gasping as his fingers began their wonderful work.

* * *

To say that Hiccup was worried about Astrid would be an understatement. He had been ever since her nightmares had begun, and the conversation they'd had the third time didn't exactly reassure him. It seemed that she accepted her nightmares as a sort of punishment. While he hated the fact that she felt like she needed to atone for everything, he supposed he could empathise. Her explanations had also made him understand just how she could've done the things she did and be okay with it, knowing it was wrong.

It turned out that she wasn't okay with it at all. She was just great at pushing her feelings down, it seemed.

That was really fucked up. At least, he thought, he was getting her to open up to him.

Well, in some regards, anyway. Ever since that conversation, she hadn't woken him up whimpering anymore... but, many mornings, he noticed the bags under her eyes and knew that she'd had nightmares. Obviously, she'd somehow managed to contain the noises she made. He'd told her not to do that, that he wanted to be there for her, but she refused, explaining that she'd already said everything there was to say on the subject. Talking would be pointless. When she woke from a nightmare, she told him, she just cuddled closer to him and tried to go back to sleep. If she couldn't, well, there was no point in having both of them tired.

He couldn't argue against that logic. He understood that letting him sleep was her way to take care of him. So he let her carry on. After two or three sleepless nights, exhaustion would become too much and she'd sleep through the night, as evidenced by the fact that the next morning, her eyes were clear once more. Those mornings, he was usually woken up by her hand down his pants.

At first it confused him, but then he understood that it was relieving to her, in a way. To show him physical affection, and have it returned, was soothing to her. It reassured her that he was still there, with her. When he came to that realisation, he started letting 'I love you's drop into their conversations more often. To remind her. Her expression always brightened at that, like he'd made her day.

He wished she didn't have to suffer so much. The gods knew she'd already suffered enough in her life, but apparently she wasn't done.

He wished there was something he could do. He tried hard to think of something, but couldn't come up with anything.

After days of this, he decided to try one thing. He wasn't even sure if it would help; maybe it would only make things worse. However, he figured it was better than doing nothing. He couldn't stand around, watching her go through this alone.

He waited until they went to bed. Astrid had slept soundly the previous night, which meant that she was in a good mood. So good, in fact, that he didn't get to speak before he found his mouth otherwise occupied. He surrendered to her for the moment; it wasn't like he didn't want it, after all.

Once they were done, he gave her a few moments to recover her breath before speaking.

"Hey, Astrid?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something? About... you know..."

"My previous life?"

"Yeah." He wasn't sure talking about it would be the answer for her, but it couldn't possibly get worse, could it?

She shrugged. "Sure."

He had a lot of questions, but only one that might help. "Who... who was the first person you ever killed?"

Astrid sighed. "The guy who tried to rape me. The one who killed my dad."

Hiccup didn't know what he was expecting, but he was still surprised. "Oh."

"Yeah. In fact, you might say he's the one that started it all."

"How so?"

"Well", she shuffled, as if making herself comfortable, "by that time, while I was still working with Alvin, I was trying to start out on my own. I didn't want to have to rely on one person to give me everything. I'd already seen what happened if you left all of you in one place."

She shuddered, and he squeezed her hand. She cuddled against his side.

"So I wanted to be independent. I wanted to be able to provide for myself, without anyone's charity. And obviously, it wasn't easy. I was thirteen. You can imagine how seriously I was taken. Sure, I was a great warrior. I could threaten grown men with my axe. But I'd seen Alvin talking to people he did business with. He was pleasant, charming. And he manipulated them. I knew that that was what I'd have to do, too. Only I couldn't be _too_ charming, or men might take it as something else. It took me a long time to find that balance."

She inhaled. "But anyway. I was in an island, trying to persuade someone to close a deal... when _he_ walked into the tavern." She shuddered again. "I recognised him instantly. I didn't know why he wasn't still in the dungeons where I left him. It didn't matter. The moment I saw him, I couldn't think of anything but revenge. It was the motto that the Outcasts lived by. So, when he left, I followed him outside, and confronted him. And you know what?" She snarled. "He didn't even _remember_ me. What he'd done mattered so little to him, he'd forgotten all about it."

Hiccup tried to imagine what kind of sick person saw molesting a child as nothing noteworthy.

"At that moment, I didn't even think. I was so mad, the axe had sliced through his neck before I thought it through. At first, when I saw him bleeding, I didn't understand what had happened. It felt like someone else's hands had done that. Then the shock wore off. I thought of my father, and how he'd told me not to harm innocents... but that man was hardly an innocent, was he? No, he was a monster, and the world was better off without him. Or that was what I told myself to be able to sleep, anyway."

Hiccup couldn't help but be reminded of their present situation. He also thought that that was how he himself had handled it, the times he'd killed people.

"I couldn't stop thinking about it, though. So one day, I went to Alvin and confessed what had happened. I didn't tell him the whole truth, though. I only said that he'd attacked me when I was younger, but I think he guessed what had really happened. He asked me if I felt safer without that man in the world, and I said I did. And that was when I realised that, in my world, the only way I would ever be truly safe from someone who meant me harm was if they were dead."

At this point, Astrid was trembling. Hiccup turned so that he could comfortably hug her to him. He was going to tell her to stop, but she kept going.

"That was... the beginning of the end for me, I suppose. The next time I killed a guy in a deal that went wrong, I reasoned that, if I hadn't done that, then he could've cheated someone else, or he could've used the information he had against me. And the time after that, it was the same thing. When I finally realised that my body count was growing... it was too late. I thought that I was exactly like those I killed. So I figured, what was the point in stopping? Someone would probably kill me, too, the exact same way I did those people. And I would deserve that. Why should I try to be good, when all it ever brought me was pain? I was never going to have a person like my father in my life again. Never."

Her voice broke in a sob, and he hugged her tight. Gods, there was so much poison in her mind still, so much self-loathing. Poison that she obviously needed to expel.

He'd been wrong. He had to make her talk. Let her get all of her emotions out, until they were thoroughly spent and she had no more of them to give. Then, when every bad memory had been purged, maybe she'd stop feeling so horrible. He'd thought that remembering them might have a negative effect on her, but he could see it was the opposite. It was like she'd said; she had to confront them. Only she shouldn't meekly accept the nightmares, but rant about what had happened, cry, scream.

She kept so much bottled up. It was time to pop that cork and turn the bottle upside down until it was completely empty.

Astrid cried herself to sleep that night, and he held her. At one point, she even complained that she didn't know what she was crying about anymore.

"Whatever you need to cry about", had been Hiccup's simple answer.

From that day on, every day Astrid would tell him about something that she'd done. Sometimes she cried, sometimes she didn't. Sometimes she cursed at the gods, for what they had put her through. Sometimes she stared straight ahead for minutes on end, and suddenly snapped out of it. He'd listen, and comment if necessary, but most of the time he just lent his silent support, and the occasional hug.

And slowly, ever so slowly, the nightmares stopped. Not entirely, and perhaps they never would.

But Astrid's mind was at a better place. And Hiccup felt that he understood her, all of her, more completely and thoroughly than ever before.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry if this one's kind of a downer, but... I feel like it would be unrealistic for Astrid to just be unaffected by everything that she did. She needs to feel guilty for a while. Otherwise, she wouldn't be a very nice person if she didn't care, would she?**


	14. Save me

"Astrid…"

"What?" she asked, more sharply than she'd intended to; she was tense, and wanted to focus. The boy next to her seemed to shrink.

"I'm nervous."

She glanced over at him. Aron was thirteen, so young. Too young to be doing this, in her opinion. Sure, she'd started out her business at his age, but only because she had no choice. He, on the other hand, had a family, an occupation, and his marriage prospects were probably good. There was no need for him to go out and fend off some pirates, just to prove his worth.

But he wanted to, for whatever stupid reason, and there was no changing his mind. When Aron's father had seen her there with the others, readying herself, he'd come to her and begged her to look after his son.

"Don't let anything happen to him", he'd said. "Please."

His expression was one of such desperation that she'd agreed without thinking. He'd reminded her of her own father, and she couldn't turn him down.

So now she was stuck with this kid –because he was no more than a child- trying to prevent him from getting stabbed or shot with an arrow. The last thing she needed was for him to be scared.

"Why?" she asked. "Because there's a bunch of men much older and more skilled than you who are going to come here and try to kill you?"

He flinched. "Not helping."

 _Of course it isn't. I'm trying to make you leave, idiot_ , she thought. "Well, that's what's going to happen. If you can't accept it, go back to your father. I'm sure I'll have enough to handle without having to save your skin."

He seemed to pale even more. Astrid breathed through her nose and tried to adopt a gentler tone.

"Aron", she said, "if this makes you nervous, then why did you do it? Your father said you were very insistent."

He shuffled his feet, not looking at her. "It's... it's stupid, now that I'm here and thinking about it."

"Let me guess, the other boys your age challenged you to do it? Did they say that you didn't have the courage for it?" This was a village of northern immigrants, and they were just like the kids she'd grown up with.

"Yes, but that alone wouldn't have mattered to me. Except they said it in front of..."

He didn't finish his sentence, but he didn't have to. She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why boys feel the need to impress girls so much."

He was stunned. "How did you-"

"I don't need to be told some things." She smirked. "One of the perks of age."

"You're not much older than me", he said, looking her up and down.

"No", she admitted, "but trust me, I've seen a _lot_ in those few years of difference. Enough to know that risking your life to appear brave isn't worth it."

"She is to me", he said determinedly.

Astrid sighed. Well, there went her hopes of getting rid of him. She did the only thing she could think of. She put a hand on his shoulder and stared him in the eye.

"Do you like her? _Really_ like her?" He was too young for love, after all.

"Yes." There was no hesitation in his voice. Good. This was the right approach.

"Do you want to protect her at all costs?"

"Yes."

"Then", she let him go, "think of her. Think that, with every swing of the sword, it's _her_ life you're defending. Think of her at her home, happy and safe, and that _you're_ working to make sure it stays that way. Okay?" He nodded, standing a little straighter. "Good."

As she took out a spyglass to peer at the horizon again, Aron spoke. "Astrid?"

"Yeah?" she asked, not looking at him.

"Thank you."

This time she did look at him, and smiled. "You're welcome." Then she focused on what she was seeing. There were two ships, both of which were full of men. The villagers would be able to handle them, but it would be a busy afternoon.

While she waited for them to get closer, her mind drifted to the events of the past weeks. After that first talk with Hiccup, the nightmares had got worse. Somehow, speaking her mind had unlocked the doors that had been keeping the guilt in, and it was downhill from there. She'd never been through so many sleepless nights in a row. At times, it was because she didn't even try to sleep; after five or six nightmares, she had grown so weary of them that she'd rather not sleep at all than have them again. After all, she'd seen that, when her exhaustion was too great, she didn't even dream.

She knew Hiccup wanted her to wake him up, but she didn't want to do so every single night. It would only add to her guilt, preventing him from sleeping. Fortunately, he'd understood and left her alone about it. Truth be told, those nights when she woke up, she wanted nothing more than to be hugged and reassured, but she persevered. This was her punishment; it would be wrong to try and lessen it. It could be a lot worse than nightmares, she knew.

Still, her need for affection meant that, if she had enough energy, she'd jump Hiccup the following morning, desperate to feel him as close as humanly possible. He never rejected her, even if he'd just woken up and didn't seem to understand what was going on. Sometimes she felt bad about it, like she was forcing him, but whenever she tried to stop, he would always take care to show her just how interested he was. He also made sure that she knew he loved her, telling her often. The reminder was a relief to her troubled mind.

She hadn't realised that there was one more barrier to tear down still. She only noticed when she told him about the first time she killed someone, and it was like a flood of memories. From that point on, she couldn't stop talking about everything she'd done, and somehow it was cathartic. Letting everything go, metaphorically speaking. With her mind less cluttered, the nightmares slowly subsided. In fact, counting last night, she'd gone four days sleeping through the night. A definite improvement.

She snapped back to reality as the shouts coming from the distance grew nearer. It was a good thing she was awake enough for this, she thought. She'd need the energy.

The attack itself wasn't so bad. For Aron's safety, they'd been placed at the back of the fighters, not the front. As a result, only a few stray pirates reached them, which she dealt with swiftly, although she took special care not to kill any of them.

It was almost ironic, really. She'd never have suspected that the real danger would come afterwards. She was standing in front of Aron, congratulating him, when the hiding man stood from his place and fired an arrow. There was no time to warn him, only to shove him to the side. The arrow struck her full in the chest.

Oddly enough, she didn't feel much pain as she fell to her knees. If anything, the only thing she felt was how hard it was to breathe. Of course, she might've been hit somewhere vital. She was bleeding a lot, she could tell; her top was getting soaked.

Her view was getting more and more narrow, darkening edges spreading. Aron's face appeared before her, horrified.

"Astrid!"

He looked like he'd shouted, but she could barely hear him.

"Tell... tell Hiccup..."

He leaned closer. "What?"

"That I love him. And that I'm sorry."

And then the world went black.

* * *

Hiccup barely heard the shouts of people around him, telling him to slow down, that he wasn't going to be let in... he didn't care. He kept running, towards the direction where the healer apparently was.

Where Astrid was toeing the line between life and death.

He hadn't liked it when she'd volunteered to help defend the island against the pirates. However, he didn't say anything because he understood the sentiment. She was an experienced warrior and could lend them a hand, so she did. He did the same, in fact, putting his expertise with weapons to good use at the smithy.

They didn't even know these people. They were originally from the north, but, while their manners were the same as those of Vikings, they weren't so skilled in fighting. When they heard the news of pirates, they were clearly nervous, which was why Astrid and Hiccup had volunteered to help them. It was the right thing to do.

It was the first time in weeks that they'd actually stayed in a village. Astrid had felt that there was no need for them to hide anymore.

Now he wished they had never come here.

He didn't even know _what_ had happened; he only knew that a boy named Aron came to look for him and told him that Astrid was gravely wounded. After that, his mind blanked, clear of everything but his objective: to go find her.

When he finally reached the healer's house, there were people already huddled outside. A few wives concerned for their husbands, and a couple who, to his surprise, came straight to him.

"Are you Hiccup?" the man asked. Hiccup barely heard him though the pounding in his ears.

"Yes", he answered. He didn't even wonder how the man knew his name; he made to go to the door, but he grabbed him by the arm, stopping him.

"Don't", he said. "Don't barge in. Wait until the healer has news."

Hiccup tried to shake him off, but the man was relentless. "Let me go!" he cried. "You have no idea-"

"-of what you're going through?" The man scoffed. "Please. You think you're the only one whose wife has been in a life-or-death situation?"

Hiccup gazed at the woman that was accompanying him. She was looking at them both, worry in her features.

"I almost didn't make it through my first son's birth", she said.

"That's right" the man growled. "And while Runa lay in there, bleeding, I was here, pacing, cursing at the gods, and every now and then I'd barge in and demand to know how she was doing. And you know what happened?"

"The healer kicked him out until they figured what was going to happen to me", the woman –Runa- continued.

"So not only did I not help anyone, but I made myself more anxious." His expression softened. "I know _exactly_ what you're going through. Wait here with the rest of us."

Hiccup looked between them and the door. Part of him still wanted to go in and see Astrid, but the logical side of him could understand what they were saying. The man took advantage of his indecision to put his hands on his shoulders and forced him to sit down.

Only now that he wasn't standing did he notice that his leg hurt, probably from running too fast. He hadn't really been thinking about speed. He surreptitiously took off the prosthetic and massaged the stump, wondering what state Astrid was in. Was she closer to life? Or death? The boy had said it was a grave wound, but what exactly was it? How long had it taken for the villagers to get her here?

So many questions, and he didn't know the answers. He let his head drop between his hands. He couldn't even imagine what would happen if… no, he wouldn't put the words together, not even in his mind.

Suddenly, someone's running footsteps could be heard. Hiccup looked up and saw the same boy who had told him about Astrid appear, panting. Runa and her husband stood when they saw him. The woman stepped forward and hugged him.

"My boy", she murmured, although Hiccup still heard her, "are you all right?"

"I'm fine, mum. Not even a scratch." From his spot, Hiccup could see his guilty expression. He didn't understand why until he added, "Thanks to Astrid."

Hiccup had to stomp down the urge to jump up and punch him or something. He reminded himself that, if Astrid had got hurt protecting this boy, it had been her choice. Hitting him would be nullifying her sacrifice.

Instead, he forced his voice to remain calm as he asked, "Why?" He put his leg back on, just to have something to do with his hands.

The boy looked at him, then at his (fake) ring, and the guilt in his face intensified. "Are you her husband?" he asked shyly. The boy's parents watched them, but said nothing.

Hiccup nodded wordlessly, and suddenly the boy broke down.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for anything to happen to her! Before… before the battle, I was so nervous, and instead of telling me to… I don't know, to _man up_ or something like that, she actually helped me concentrate…"

"Oh, Aron…" his mother said, but her son continued.

"And during the fight, she was so…" He couldn't find a word, and Hiccup nodded again. He'd seen her in battle, after all; he understood. "Anyway, we thought we were all done, and she was telling me I'd been really brave… when all of a sudden she shoved me to the side, and next thing I know, she has an arrow in her chest. I didn't see the bowman because I had my back to him, but she did, and instead of… warning me or something, she…" He swallowed.

"It wasn't your fault." The words burned him on their way out, feeling forced, but they were true. "She made a choice. There was probably no time to warn you. That bowman is the one to blame, not you." He could hear his own voice, completely emotionless. Aron didn't look reassured, and he didn't blame him.

"You don't really think that", he said.

"You know what I think, Aron?" Hiccup stood up, and his rage at the whole situation burst out. "I think that, if you hadn't been there, she wouldn't have had to do that. If _we_ hadn't come here, she wouldn't have been near any pirates. There are so many things that could've been done differently, but you know what? _None of it matters_! Because we did what we did, and now Astrid is in there, possibly dying, because of it!"

Hiccup's chest was heaving by the end of his tirade. Aron looked terrified, while Runa had protectively put her arms around him. Aron's father watched Hiccup warily.

Hiccup looked at all of them, and sighed. "I'm sorry. I just…"

"We know", the man said. "But getting mad at my son won't fix anything, I'm afraid."

"Where's that bowman?" Hiccup asked Aron. If there was one person who was responsible…

The boy shook his head. "They struck him down almost immediately. Sorry."

He was disappointed, but perhaps it was for the best. In his current state, he was certain he'd do something he'd later regret.

Having nothing else to do or say, he plopped back down. If nothing else, at least Aron had given him more information about what had actually happened.

The chest. That was always bad news. The arrow could've easily hit something major like her heart, or someplace that made her lose too much blood. Of course, he supposed, it couldn't have struck her heart directly, or she would've died on the spot. But even a minor scratch could be deadly, he knew.

The more he pondered it, the more the horrifying truth took root in his mind: there was a very good chance that Astrid might die. And he couldn't even imagine what would happen then.

What would he do? Where would he go? He couldn't go back to Berk; even if his father was there, the other people still wouldn't want him. Maybe he could stay with his mother? She'd probably accept him. But even so… Stormfly would be devastated. Thor knew what she would do.

Hel, what would _he_ do? Even if he had somewhere to go… he couldn't imagine living the rest of his life without Astrid. Not now. He was used to waking up every morning beside her, helping her when she was having nightmares, flying together, hunting for their food with the dragons… even her cooking, which, while better, still left a lot to be desired.

He loved her, all of her. The good and the bad. He couldn't give her up, ever.

That realisation hit him hard. He looked down at his ring, and what it represented. Nothing, technically, but it _could_. Right?

Of course it could. He wanted to be with Astrid forever. Marriage would certainly grant him that.

He wanted to marry her. Why hadn't he thought about it before?

Would _she_ want it? He didn't know, but he certainly had to ask.

If only he'd realised this sooner…

When she woke up, he promised himself. Not if, _when_ she woke up… well, and she felt better, he'd ask.

* * *

The agonising hours he had to wait until the healer came out were the longest of his life. Dark thoughts tormented him, and more than once he wanted to cry, but he contained himself. He didn't want to do that here, surrounded by people he didn't know. Runa and her husband left eventually, but Aron stayed by his side, and didn't say anything, which Hiccup was grateful for. He wasn't in the mood for small talk. The boy apologised a few more times, even if he told him it wasn't necessary, and assured him that he'd help in any way he could.

As time went by, it happened twice that the door opened, and a young woman, who apparently was the healer's helper, came out to announce the death of two of the men. Their wives' reactions made Hiccup grit his teeth to prevent himself from joining their cries.

Finally, an elder woman who was clearly the healer came out, and looked straight at Hiccup. "You're with the young woman?" He nodded. "Come in."

The fact that she didn't straight away tell him what had happened made his stomach twist. If she was dead, she would've announced it the same way she did with the others, right? But if she was fine, she probably would've told him, too. Something was wrong.

He followed the woman into the house, which had a lot of cots with injured men on them. Astrid's bed was at the far end, hidden by a curtain. He pushed it aside, not sure what he'd find.

Astrid was pale, and her top had been removed. There was a bandage covering her chest, and some blood had soaked through it. She didn't look half as bad as some of the other people in here, but he didn't let that deceive him.

"Is she... going to be all right?" The question escaped his lips in a whisper. When the healer didn't answer immediately, he looked at her. Her expression was only slightly worried.

"She lost a lot of blood, but she's stable now."

"So she'll live?"

"She'll need to take it easy for a while, but yes."

Hiccup let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Astrid would be fine. The sheer relief made his knees buckle, and he almost fell down.

"Before I continue tending to her, however", the woman continued, "there's something I'd like to know."

"About what?"

"Are you two planning on conceiving a child any time soon?"

Given the circumstances, he couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed. "No, why?"

"Because there are some herbs I'd like to give her, but they may reduce her fertility for a while."

"Go ahead."

"Very well." As she began mixing things for a tea, she looked him over. "Once I'm done with this, you may stay here and watch over her, if you want. I'll tell Aron the good news."

"Okay."

He watched Astrid's face. She was sleeping peacefully, for once.

She'd be fine. That was all that mattered.

* * *

The first thing she became aware of was a stinging sensation in her chest, as well as a certain heaviness. The next thing she felt was the smell of herbs and... was that blood? It was quiet, save for the occasional whine of discomfort, and... there was someone breathing right next to her, it would seem.

With considerable effort, she managed to open her eyes. She didn't recognise the room, or what she could see of it. She was on a bed, and next to her was a table with many items she recognised as those of a healer. On the other side, a curtain separated her from the rest of the room and... Hiccup was there, sitting on a chair, eyes closed.

"Hiccup?" she mumbled.

Given the way he jumped, he certainly hadn't been sleeping.

"Astrid!" His face illuminated with glee, and she was confused for a moment. Then she remembered the arrow in her chest... oh, right. That was probably what hurt. She must've had a lot of damage.

"How long was I out?"

"Almost a day. The wound was pretty serious."

"Did I scare you?"

"Yes", he admitted. "I didn't know... if you..."

"If I would live or not", she finished. Gods, that must've been horrible for him, waiting for news. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Didn't mean to scare you." She knew it was quite silly; it wasn't like it could've been avoided. But she wanted to at least show some consideration for his feelings.

"It wasn't your fault." He smiled wryly. "But please don't do it again. When I thought you might die, I... I..." he seemed at a loss for words, and she smiled empathetically.

"I know. I'd feel that way, too." But he was shaking his head.

"No, more than that. I mean that I... oh, _fuck it_." Suddenly, he seemed determined. She was confused.

"Hiccup?"

"I know this isn't the way to do this", he said. "We should probably be somewhere romantic, or at least, you should be at full health. But I don't care. I guess we've never been conventional about anything."

There was a sneaking suspicion in the back of her mind, but she refused to acknowledge it. "What are you talking about?"

"When I thought you might die", he started again, "I thought about what I was going to do. And I realised... that when I think of my future, you're in it. You're part of my life, and I don't want that to change. I want you to be with me, forever."

She could only stare at him as he swallowed, then continued. "Astrid..."

"Yeah?"

"Will you marry me?"

* * *

Hiccup waited nervously outside the chief's house. Beside him, Astrid looked just as nervous, but also excited. He, too, was, excited, but at this stage he felt more impatient than anything else. They'd had to wait for Astrid to get better before actually getting married, because Astrid wanted to do it at the island that had been Birger's home. And that was a long flight away.

"It's the closest place to home that I have", she'd explained. And since only Berk had been home to him, and it was not possible to go there, he'd agreed.

It had been almost two weeks, and he wanted to get married already. He wanted to put that ring back on, this time for real. (He'd wanted to make new ones, but Astrid said it wasn't necessary.) He wanted to be tied to Astrid forever.

Finally, the chief called them in. He asked for their names, so that he could put them into the record.

Hiccup went first, and then Astrid proudly stated her last name, something she rarely did.

"Hofferson?" The chief looked thoughtful. "I think that name is in here already..."

"Really?" Astrid asked, surprised.

"Let me see..." the man flipped a few pages. "Oh, yes, here it is... Wait. Did you say your name was Hofferson? Was your father Asmund Hofferson, by any chance?"

"Uh, yes. Why, is he there?"

"Lass, we have a problem. You can't get married to him." He gestured to Hiccup, who was wondering if he'd heard wrong.

This couldn't be happening.

"What?" Astrid exclaimed. "Why?"

"Because you're already engaged to someone else."

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, I know I'm evil. I'll try to update as soon as I can (which should be soon, if my professors continue to not give us any projects).**

 **Just remember that I love Hiccstrid as much you all do, and I'd never split them up :)**


	15. You and I

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long after the ending I left you with, but university happened.**

 **Smut in this chapter, if you don't want to read it, skip after the POV changes from Hiccup to Astrid until the xxxx's.**

* * *

For most of her life, 'will you marry me' were words that Astrid Hofferson had never expected to hear from anyone, ever. When she was a child, her father had explained the concept of marriage to her, telling her that it may happen to her one day. However, considering that she never stayed in one place for too long or had any friends (save for Birger), she knew that, reasonably, it seemed unlikely that she'd find any guy who'd be interested in her. Plus, she wasn't particularly worried about it. She had her dad, and it was enough.

After she started her career, the possibility seemed even more outlandish. The only person who'd want to marry her would be another criminal, and then they would probably be after her empire, not her. So she knew she'd remain single until her death, and she was okay with it. The men that surrounded her weren't very interesting, anyway.

When she realised that she'd fallen for Hiccup, she knew it was doomed to be unrequited, and so didn't even allow herself to dwell on it. After they got together, everything was so new that she still didn't think about it. She'd only let herself warm up to the idea when they began wearing those fake rings, but she still quelled any hope she might feel. Even if Hiccup loved her, it didn't have to mean he wanted to tie himself to her forever. They spent all their time together, and that was what mattered.

Until Hiccup went and said the four words. To say that she was floored would be an understatement. After the shock faded, though, the only thing inside her was joy, pure and unadulterated.

He did want to be with her, every bit as much as she wanted to be with him. Enough to want to tie the knot with her.

She did wish he'd chosen a better moment to tell her, though. Some time she wasn't wounded and could adequately convey her feelings through actions. As it was, her eyes had filled with tears, which Hiccup had seemed surprised at. She'd managed to choke out a 'yes' that she felt didn't do any justice to the thoughts running through her head at that moment.

Ironically enough, that was what was happening right now, though in a much more unpleasant scenario. First the shock, because she hadn't been expecting the chief's words. Then questions: how was it possible? When had her father promised her to someone? Why hadn't he ever told her?

Unbidden, her eyes moved over to watch Hiccup's face. He'd gone pale. That alone was enough to ground her.

Her questions were irrelevant. The only thing that mattered right now was finding a way out of this. There had to be. Her father wouldn't engage her without her consent without giving her a way to annul it.

And for that, she needed to see the contract.

"To whom?" she asked.

"Dustin Ingolfsson."

"Where does he live?"

"Their hall is the one by the hill."

"Thank you." Astrid got up, and when Hiccup didn't do the same, she tugged his arm. "Let's go."

Once they were out of the chief's earshot, Hiccup seemed to finally wake up. "Why are we going to this guy's house? Do you really think he'll want to break off the engagement?"

"I don't know _him_ , but I know my father, Hiccup. He wouldn't have done something like this without giving me a way out, I know it."

"You really think so?" He sounded hopeful. Astrid wondered what he was thinking. Probably the same thing that she was.

"I know so. And if we can't, well... we're going to stay in the south anyway. We can just get married there."

Hiccup pursed his lips. "It doesn't feel right", he said. "Marrying you if there's someone waiting for you."

"Yeah, I know. But if it comes down to it, I value your happiness over some stranger's." She took his face between her hands. "I love _you_ , Hiccup. I want to marry _you_. Nobody else."

He smiled softly. "So do I."

They found the house easily enough. Astrid knocked on the door, holding Hiccup's hand firmly in her own. They were greeted by a robust woman with an unfriendly face.

"Who are you?" she spat. Hiccup seemed to be about to protest being treated so disdainfully for no reason, but Astrid squeezed his hand in a message for him to be quiet.

"My name is Astrid Hofferson", she said pleasantly. At the mention of her name, the woman's eyes widened in recognition for a second.

Then she scowled. "Well, it's about damn time you showed up, don't you think?" she said. "My boy's only been waiting for fifteen years."

"Yeah, about that-"

"Come in", she continued, not listening. She turned her back on them and walked inside. Astrid glanced at Hiccup for a second, and he seemed as confused as her.

"Maybe I should stay-"

"No. We're doing this together." She peered at him. "Unless you don't want to?"

"I do. I just don't want to make this more difficult."

"I'm trying to break an engagement. It's going to be difficult either way."

"Fair point."

They went in together. The house seemed a bit small, especially when they saw three children scurrying upstairs. It didn't look like there was much room for them. There was a man sitting by the fire, who looked up at them with curiosity.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Dustin's promised", the woman answered as she went upstairs, too.

He frowned, but seemed more confused than anything else.

"Really?" he asked.

"Well", Astrid sighed, "like I was saying to your wife-"

"Dustin!" The woman's voice boomed. "Get over here, now!"

In a matter of seconds, she was back down, followed by a boy who, to Astrid's surprise, looked no older than fifteen. He seemed just as confused as his father.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"This, Dustin, is your promised. Astrid Hofferson."

Astrid wasn't sure how she thought he would react to the news. Nervous, perhaps, or surprised. But the dismay that appeared on his face at those words was entirely unexpected.

"Oh", he said. "Um..."

"Actually", Astrid interrupted, and this time her voice was louder, more authoritative. She had a say in this, and the woman would _hear_ it. "I'm here to tell you that, unfortunately, I hadn't heard of this engagement before today. And I'm sorry, but... I've already found a man I want to marry." She pointedly stood closer to Hiccup, who squeezed her hand. "So I was hoping we could-"

"Absolutely not!" Dustin's mother roared. "Your father approached us when Dustin was born, and we have a contract. It is final. You will marry my son, do you hear me?"

Astrid considered the woman's words. Clearly, she couldn't negotiate with her; she wouldn't listen, and wouldn't let her see the contract. The father, although he'd remained silent, was nodding at his wife's words. However, it was obvious that Dustin himself didn't want to go through with it anymore than herself. He was the one she should talk to.

"Very well", she said, surprising everyone, including Hiccup. "We'll go for now, so you can... uh... so Dustin has time to get used to the idea."

Moments later, they were outside.

"Well, that went well", Hiccup said sarcastically.

"Actually, it did." He looked at her incredulously, and she smiled. "We just need to talk to Dustin, alone. We have to send him a message."

* * *

An hour later, and having used Sneaky to leave a note, they were waiting at a clearing near Dustin's house. Astrid could tell Hiccup was nervous, even if he tried to hide it.

"Hey", she said. "If this doesn't work out, we've always got plan B."

"I know, I know. I just... it feels like you're breaking a promise if you do so."

She smiled. "You let _me_ worry about that. But to be honest... I don't think I could marry a fifteen-year-old, anyway. I'd feel very creepy about it. I mean, a wedding night with him?" She shuddered.

Hiccup laughed. "I guess that's true."

They waited. Eventually, the boy appeared.

"Sorry I'm late", he said. "But I think Mum suspected I'd try to get the contract. It took me a while to get her distracted enough to take it."

"Okay. Hand it over, and let's see if there isn't a way to get out of this."

They read it attentively, trying to find anything. It wasn't long before Astrid came across one particular paragraph:

" _Should Astrid Hofferson decide that she does not want to go through with the engagement, she must prove that she is capable of providing for herself. If the chief is satisfied that this is indeed the case, then this contract will be rendered invalid."_

Astrid looked up and smiled. "That's our way out, right there."

"How do you prove that you can provide for yourself, though?" Hiccup asked.

She shrugged. "Maybe take some of those gemstones we still have? Or prove that I know how to hunt. I don't think it'll be hard." Then she looked at Dustin. "I hope you understand that I have nothing against you, Dustin. It's just..."

"You've found someone", he nodded. "It's perfectly reasonable. In fact..." he clamped up suddenly.

Astrid smirked. "Let me guess, you've also found someone?"

"Yes. And, um, I made some calculations and... I think we'd be able to afford her bride price."

"But your mother won't hear of it because you're engaged", she finished. It made sense, she supposed. She could see that his family was rather poor; his prospects were probably not very good. His mother must've jumped at the chance to marry her son, which must've been the reason her father had chosen them. She doubted many people would agree to a contract with a clause that let the bride break free while the groom remained stuck.

"No. But if you annul it..."

"We all win. So let's do this, shall we?"

* * *

Throughout the whole ordeal, Hiccup had felt as though he was in some kind of nightmare. Of course, the moment that he'd made a decision that brought him endless happiness, it had to be cut short. It looked like the gods still hated him, or at least wanted to make him suffer a bit more.

Astrid had been remarkably calm during everything, and he appreciated it more than he could tell her, because he was freaking out inside. What if they couldn't annul the engagement? Hiccup didn't feel right getting married to her, knowing she was bound by a contract somewhere else. That was exactly the sort of thing that got the gods angry. They could just go on living together the way they had up to now, of course, but Hiccup had been hoping to have a more... _permanent_ commitment. And when the boy's mother straight up refused to cancel the engagement... his disappointment had been big.

Astrid hadn't faltered, however, and managed to contact the boy (he really was a boy; he didn't blame her if she felt uneasy about it). In the contract, they'd found the clause that could free her, and it had been very easy to prove to the chief that Astrid could provide for herself. Dustin had thanked them effusively and ran off to his home, while Hiccup and Astrid waited for the chief to finish his preparations. They had done some preparations, too, namely getting dressed. They'd bought some finer clothes in the south for this very purpose.

And now they were waiting at a side room in the Great Hall (they didn't want a public wedding, especially in case Dustin's mother tried something out of anger). Astrid was radiant in a red, long-sleeved dress that reached all the way to the floor and had some shiny stones embroidered into the sleeves and collar. Hiccup himself was wearing a fine cloak over his simple tunic, with a ceremonial belt over his trousers.

Finally, the chief was ready. The ceremony itself was quick and simple, as the man recited the usual prayers and they performed the necessary rituals. Hiccup couldn't remember much of it; he was too busy staring at Astrid, seeing the elation in her eyes that he was sure reflected his own, and reminding himself that this wasn't a dream. Before he knew it, they were exchanging their rings, and the chief was declaring them husband and wife.

Hiccup kissed Astrid with probably more vigour than was appropriate for a wedding ceremony, but it was hard to remember that when they were in such a small, private space. The chief cleared his throat and they separated, breathing heavily.

"Um... there is a room at the Blue Hide Inn waiting for you", he told them.

Hiccup looked at Astrid, who seemed to be as confused as he felt. "We didn't pay for anything", he told the man.

He smiled. "No, but one family did. Apparently, they wanted to marry their daughter to Dustin Ingolffson, so they are very grateful towards you both."

"Oh", Hiccup said, surprised.

Astrid smirked. "In that case, we'll be going. Thanks, chief."

Hiccup walked next to Astrid, feeling like he was on a cloud. He still couldn't believe it. He was her _husband_. The word felt strange, especially applied to him, but it was true. They would be together until they died.

And he couldn't be happier about it.

When they reached the inn, the woman at the desk congratulated them and led them to their bedroom, leaving with a wink. Before they could do anything, there was a knock at the door, and a girl appeared, carrying a tray with some food and mead.

"On the house", she explained. "The owner says a wedding with no feast is no wedding at all."

"Give him our thanks", Hiccup said, taking the tray from her.

He had barely put it on a table when Astrid turned him around and began kissing him fiercely.

* * *

 _Finally_ , Astrid thought as her lips collided with Hiccup's. She'd only been waiting for this all freaking day. Well, after the ceremony part, anyway. It had taken more work than she thought it would... but finally, they were _married_. The mere word was enough to send shivers down her spine.

He was hers, before the eyes of the gods and everyone else, forever. He was her husband now. Nobody else would have a claim to him. Or to her, for that matter.

Hiccup recovered from his surprise at her kiss and began pushing her towards the bed. She complied eagerly, falling down on it with him on top of her. Without breaking the kiss, she reached for the brooch of his cloak and unclasped it, letting the garment fall to the floor. Hiccup pulled back to look at her dress, obviously trying to find some kind of opening for it. After a few seconds, he huffed.

"Okay, I give up. How do you take this thing off?"

She smiled apologetically as she pushed him so they could both stand up, and then she turned around so he'd have access to the back. He quickly undid the line of buttons there, and she shrugged the sleeves off. Then he was tugging the dress down carefully, revealing more and more of her skin. He groaned when he saw she was wearing breast bindings.

"Were those really necessary?"

"The dress wasn't tight enough to hold them up. Plus," Astrid smirked, "it's not like you haven't learned how to take them off by now."

"True." He tugged the dress past her hips, and it fell to the floor. She turned to face him, dressed only in underclothes, and smiled. Hiccup stepped forward, but she put her hand on his chest, stopping him.

"First things first. Even this up. Now."

"So demanding", he joked as he began unbuckling the belt. Once he was done, Astrid undid his trousers while he pulled his tunic over his head. Then she pushed them down, until they got stuck in his prosthetic. Ignoring Hiccup's protests that he could do that himself, she kneeled and finished removing the trousers.

She got back up, only for Hiccup to push her down to the bed. Their lips reconnected, and this time their hands began roaming. Astrid scratched her nails down his back. She loved his subtle definition, the muscles that were not overly noticeable but definitely there. It was part of what made him Hiccup. His hands, meanwhile, danced over her breast bindings, teasing her. After a few seconds, she lifted her chest and he slid his hands underneath her, fingers quickly finding the knot of her bindings.

The first time he'd done this, it had taken him a while to figure out, but he was an expert now. It was only a matter of seconds before the knot was loosened, and he wasted no time tearing the garment off her skin. Then his hands were back on her chest, kneading her gently. Astrid moaned, and he moved away from her mouth, latching onto her neck. He bit down, and then sucked hard enough to leave a bruise.

"Making your mark?" she teased breathlessly.

He kissed the spot. "Hel yes. You're mine now."

"Always..." she trailed off as his mouth moved down, kissing until it found a nipple. She gasped. "Always have been."

He chuckled lowly, and it vibrated against her skin. She was reduced to a writhing mess as he alternated between biting and licking, giving attention to her other breast with his hand. She retaliated by reaching down and palming his hardening self. He moaned, mouth still on her breast, and ground against her hand. He lost track of what he was doing as she continued her ministrations. Astrid smirked. She loved making him lose control.

Eventually, he managed the presence of mind necessary to let his hands wander down and under her last piece of clothing. His fingers rubbed against that sweet spot, and she faltered in her own movements. He smirked as he slipped a single digit inside of her, prompting her to moan as she thrust her hips helplessly.

Then he did something he'd never done before: he removed his finger and examined it. It was coated by her slickness, of course. He moved his gaze to her... and then sucked on his finger, slowly and deliberately.

Astrid stared, entranced. She didn't know why that was so _hot_ , but it was. The throbbing between her legs became more insistent. She grabbed his hips and practically hauled him backwards with her, scooting more comfortably onto the bed. She reached for his prosthetic and took it off; she knew he preferred that.

He held himself over her with his elbows, that damn (but handsome) smirk still on his face.

"I take it you liked that?"

"Shut up", she mumbled, stretching her hands towards his underwear. He helped her take it off, and then did the same thing to her.

Now that they were both fully naked, Hiccup dropped again on top of her, and his manhood brushed against her opening. They both groaned at the contact.

His hand moved down again. His fingers didn't stroke her more than twice, however, before she removed them. He looked at her, confused.

"Don't need it", she told him. "I'm ready."

"You sure?" he asked. Her heart warmed at how, despite how many times they'd done this, he still asked.

"Yes. Now get on with it."

" _So_ demanding", he chuckled. Then he aligned himself, and began slowly pushing in. Astrid breathed heavily as she felt him stretch her open, until his hips were flush against hers. She loved this feeling, as cliché as it was. Nothing compared to being joined with him, in the most intimate way possible. Sensing him pulsing inside her brought her pleasure like she'd never experienced.

Hiccup kissed her, and then pulled back before sinking in once more. As his thrusts picked up the pace, she rocked her hips against him, matching his rhythm with every move. The pleasure grew in intensity and began to build, and she felt herself being inexorably drawn to that precipice. And if Hiccup's grunts were any indication, he was right behind her.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and nibbled on his neck, placing open-mouthed kisses on his skin. He tilted his head to give her better access, and one of his hands wandered over to her breast, toying with her nipple.

His fingers lost their pace as his breathing became erratic, and soon afterwards she felt him coming inside of her, hips desperately thrusting against hers. It didn't take her long to follow him, feeling the white-hot pleasure take over her mind and body.

Eventually, they both came down from their highs. They looked at each other, panting, but smiling.

xxxx

"I love you", Astrid said.

"I love you too", he answered. "Gods, I can't believe... you're my _wife_ now."

She liked the sound of the word on his tongue. "And you're my husband."

Hiccup finally pulled out and dropped next to her. "I have to say, it sounds weird. I don't even know how to be a husband."

She ran her fingers through his hair and winked. "You're doing great so far."

He laughed. "Thanks. You too."

"Oh, I'm great at being a husband?" she asked playfully.

"You know what I mean", he grinned.

"Seriously though", she continued. "Being married doesn't have to change a thing for us. We'll do the same things we were doing up to now. I love you the same way I did a year ago."

Hiccup stared at her in wonder, and it was only then that she realised her honesty had gone farther than she'd intended. Oh well. She wasn't ashamed of it.

"A year ago? Really? That was... I think I was running away with you then. Hel, maybe it was the time we were apart."

"Yeah, so?"

"You... you loved me then?"

She smiled. It was their wedding night; what better time to confess this? "You want to know how long I've been in love with you?"

"You're making it sound like it was since we met."

"Maybe not that far, but... close. I mean, I can tell you when I _realised_ I loved you. Which implies I'd fallen for you some time before that."

"Okay, you're making me really curious. Tell me."

"Since that time we were at Drago's ship and you rescued me from that asshole." She hated to bring him up, but there was no other way to reference that night.

His eyes widened. "What? But... that was... ages ago. You didn't even know me that well."

She raised her eyebrows. "Didn't I? We'd spent a lot of time together by then. And in very dangerous situations, which usually bring out a person's true character. I knew you very well."

"So... all this time... all throughout me running away with you... you knew you loved me?"

"Yes." It was adorable that he was so surprised, really. Like he couldn't believe somebody would be holding out for him all that time.

Then again, his humility was one of the things she loved about him, for sure.

"Why didn't you say something?" She just stared at him, and he answered his own question. "It would've been awkward."

"And pointless, since you wouldn't have returned my feelings."

"But what about all this time we've been travelling together?" he insisted. "Why did you wait until I said it?"

She sighed. This would make her sound like a coward, she knew. "Because I couldn't stand the idea of you not saying it back."

"That's always a risk when you say it for the first time."

"I know, I know. I just... didn't want to scare you off. I mean, love is a pretty big commitment, and I wasn't sure that... you would want that with me."

She hated how meek her voice sounded. But here, with a ring around her finger, she was confident. She hadn't been back then.

He looked puzzled. "I chose to leave the only place I'd ever known with _you_ , Astrid. I'd think that's pretty committed."

"You wanted to get away. Me being there was just... an extra."

"Astrid." He put his hand on her cheek. "I've been in love with you for a very long time, too. I was just too stupid to realise it. But I do now." He paused. "You're right, I was going to leave anyway. But if I had been alone... I'm not sure I would've handled it well. I might have come back to you, just because I'm sure I would've missed you. Because I loved you, even if I hadn't realised it yet." He scooted closer to her, fingers gently caressing her. "When you left after we'd defeated Drago, I still thought about you, more frequently than I cared to admit. I tried to get you out of my head, because I knew my dad would disapprove."

She was surprised at his confession. He smiled. "The first time we kissed... I knew then, I wasn't going to be able to get you out of my head, not easily. Now I know that'll never happen. And I don't want it to. I'm _happy_ with you taking up all of my headspace. So get those negative thoughts out of yours, milady, because," he grasped her ring hand with his own, "we're in this for the long run."

She hadn't realised there were tears forming behind her eyes until they were spilling over her cheeks. Damn, she was being extremely emotional today. Then again, that was normal for a wedding, she thought.

"You're not supposed to cry", he laughed as he wiped her tears. "You're supposed to be happy."

"Ever heard of crying of happiness?"

"I thought that was a myth. The people at my village never did it."

"Well, it's not." She smiled. "I _am_ happy, Hiccup. More than you can ever imagine."

He smiled back. "Oh, but I think I can", he whispered before leaning in to kiss her again.

* * *

 **A/N: As always, feedback on the smut is greatly appreciated, as well as the wedding scene. I didn't dwell on it because I didn't want it to get too cheesy. I hope it didn't seem rushed.**


	16. A new home

The next morning, Hiccup woke up feeling happier than he'd been in a long time. Of course, the previous months had been _great_ , but there was something different now. He glanced at his right hand, which was currently over Astrid's hip, and smiled at the gold band on his ring finger.

Nothing was different, and yet everything was, somehow. He doubted their relationship would change much… but there was something to be said about how amazing it felt to be officially committed to her, in the clearest way possible.

Their relationship had never needed labelling, especially since in the beginning there was no term for what they were. Somehow, that factor had remained unchanged, even when they progressed far beyond their rocky start. While it had never bothered him that Astrid didn't use any particular term for him, it did mean that there was some uncertainty as to what they were. And that, in turn, meant that someone might make some wrong assumptions.

Not anymore. Husband and wife. No way to misinterpret those terms.

"Morning", Astrid's voice broke through his thoughts. He couldn't see her face, but it was easy to tell she was in the same good mood he was.

"Morning", he answered. "How do you always know when I've woken up?"

She turned her head so she could look at him, and grinned. "Your breathing changes, and you start to move. You never move around when you're sleeping."

Hiccup almost asked her how she knew that if she was also sleeping, before remembering her constant nightmares (which still hadn't subsided completely) that woke her up in the middle of the night. He didn't want to bring that up. Not this morning. So he just pecked her lips.

"You know a lot about me, milady."

"I should hope so. You're my husband now, after all."

He could see that she felt thrilled at being able to use that word. As thrilled as he was to hear it. He wanted to try it, too.

"Well, you're my wife and I'm not sure I know all your sleeping patterns."

"That's fine. I'm the observant one in this rel… in this _marriage_ , after all."

There she went again, using the word like she still couldn't believe it was real. He felt the same, honestly.

Saying so, however, would be strange. So he decided to show her. Using his hold on her hips, he turned her around so she was facing him and pulled her closer, pressing his forehead to hers.

"So what am I?" he asked. "In this marriage?" The word rolled off his tongue quite nicely.

"You're… the clever one."

"You're clever too", he objected.

"I meant with your fingers."

He waggled his eyebrows, and she laughed.

"Not like _that_. Well, _also_ like that, but I was talking about all your inventions."

He smiled. "Even if some of them require me jumping off my dragon to test them?"

"Even then. It's part of you. Including the stupidity."

He pouted, and she kissed him.

"There's… something I wanted to talk to you about", she said when she pulled away.

"Oh? What's that?"

"What now? I mean… do we keep going south? Do we continue exploring? Do we settle down somewhere?"

"Do you _want_ to settle down?"

"Maybe? I don't know." She smiled wryly. "It's not like I've ever stayed at one place for long."

"Never?" He mentally reviewed what she'd told him of her childhood, and admittedly, he didn't remember anything about a house.

"No. My dad was always on the move because of his job, so I was on the move with him."

"What about the island where Birger lived?"

"There were a couple of places where we went frequently, sure. But not enough to call any of those home."

It was a strange concept to him, having lived all his life on Berk. Then again, she'd already told him that for her, home was made by people, not a place.

And having seen the people's reaction last time he was on Berk… he was inclined to agree.

"Okay. Where would you want to go?"

"Do _you_ want to settle down?"

He thought about it. He was having fun exploring, really. But he couldn't see himself doing it the rest of his life. When he was older, he'd probably prefer to have a home stay at.

"Maybe, yeah. But where would we go?"

"I think we should stay in the south, if we want to avoid… our reputations."

"Yeah, but there's a problem with that. We can't hide the dragons forever. Neither of us want that." Toothless and Stormfly were always moody when their riders spent the night at an inn, leaving them behind; he had no doubt that when they left this island, it would be no different.

They couldn't keep doing that. Plus, a home where their best friends weren't accepted would be no home at all.

"I know. We have no idea of how southerners would react to dragons, though. Which is why I was thinking… what if we didn't stay with people from the south?"

It took him a moment to understand what she was driving at. "You mean… Thor's Rock?" he asked, referring to that island inhabited by immigrants from the north.

"Yeah, I mean, think about it." She counted on her fingers. "They speak our language, they have our customs, and we're more or less already friendly with them."

Those were valid points, and yet…"What about the dragons, though?" he asked worriedly. "If they're from here, then they… won't want them on their island."

She shook her head. "I overheard some of the men talking. They've been in that island for generations now, so most of them have never actually seen a dragon, only heard of them. Some even think they don't exist. They won't have as strong a reaction as other Vikings. So," she smiled, "if you could convince an island that hated dragons of the truth, I'm sure it won't be half as bad with these people."

She had a point, he guessed. He'd seen first-hand how people like the Outcasts, who weren't raided on a regular basis, had accepted that dragons were more than mindless beasts without much problem. Maybe this would be same.

And, well, if it didn't work out, they could always go somewhere else.

"Okay", he agreed. "We'll try."

She smiled. "So when would that happen?"

"Are you in a hurry?" he asked, amused.

"No, but I do want to know."

"Well… maybe as soon as we get back? I mean, the exploration has been amazing, but… I doubt I could go much further south if it gets even hotter. I don't think I could take it." He hadn't thought about it before, but as soon as the words came out of his mouth, he knew them to be true. Vikings were used to the cold, not the heat.

"Yeah, I feel you", she grimaced. Then she grinned mischievously. "Still, I think it'll be a while before we get back."

"Oh, really?" he asked, knowing where this was going.

"Yeah", she said, her hand travelling down his stomach. "After all, we're still in our honeymonth."

* * *

A week later, they left the island. They didn't want to abuse the hospitality of the family that was paying for it, especially since they were apparently poor. They did pay the last night out of their own pockets, but when they found out how much it was, they decided it was time to go.

Even so, Astrid was adamant that their honeymonth was far from over. The time spent in the inn had been _very_ enjoyable, and she had no intention of letting that come to an end. There were many islands around; it would be easy to find somewhere they could be alone.

And indeed, they made sure to take advantage of every moment they could spare. Another week went by, in which they divided their time between getting food and other, more _pleasurable_ activities.

One day, as they were eating, Hiccup spoke.

"Astrid?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think maybe we could... go visit my parents?"

She considered it. "Well, I guess we should seize the opportunity while we're still close, right?"

"Yes, that's what I was thinking. My mum will be happy to see me, and my dad..."

She stared at him for a second. "He'll be happy to see you, all right. He may not be so happy about the news, though."

He sighed. "I know, but what can I do? I don't want to walk on eggshells around him forever." He smiled at her. "I don't want to hide the most important part of my life from anyone."

She smiled back, although her next words were hard to say. "If you don't want me to go with you..." She still refused to be what stopped Hiccup from talking to his father, even if she didn't like being left behind.

"No. He has to get used to it. Eventually he will, right?"

"Right." She wasn't so sure about it. She knew as well as Hiccup did that Stoick was one of the most stubborn people there were. But neither of them pursued the issue further.

They agreed to go the following day, which meant their time alone would be over, if only for a short while. So she decided to do something special that night. Something she hadn't tried before.

xxxx

As usual, after dinner they went to a nearby spring to bathe. And as usual, Hiccup got hard, watching her naked while she washed herself. She'd often teased him about it, but she also took care of it, so he had no reason to complain. It wasn't like she didn't get aroused herself, but in the hot water, her reaction was hardly noticeable.

Once they were done, she told him she had a surprise for him. His eyebrows rose, but he complied as she pushed him down to sit on a flat rock. The water covered the underside of his thighs while the rest of his legs were completely sunk; that way, he'd still be warm, and she could do what she wanted to.

She watched him for a second. His eyes closed, gloriously naked and wanting her, he was absolutely beautiful. She mentally sent a prayer to the gods, thanking them.

Then she leant down and took him into her mouth.

She heard him let out a strangled noise that was half moan and half gasp, but she was too focused on what she was doing to look at him. She wasn't used to this feeling, and she was doing her best not to gag.

She bobbed her head, trying to find a more comfortable position. Once she did, she glanced at Hiccup. His head was thrown back, mouth open. Smiling, she let her tongue dance around his manhood, and he let out helpless moans. He looked at her, eyes wide.

"Gods, Astrid..."

She experimented, alternating between slowly licking his whole length and swirling her tongue around his tip, moving her head up and down to rub her lips against him. She took note of what got the best reactions from Hiccup, who had quickly been reduced to a babbling mess. Every now and then, she would clamp her lips on him and suck, and she was rewarded with a string of half sentences and moans. He seemed to be trying to stop himself from thrusting up, which she appreciated. His arms, which were holding him up, were shaking. Sweat was running along his forehead. He was obviously overcome by the pleasure, barely holding himself together.

She leaned further down and pushed him even deeper into her mouth, and he gasped.

"Won't... last..."

She hummed, and the resulting vibration must've added to the experience, because he moaned again. Smirking, she did it again, and again. Finally, when she was licking his length, he shoved at her shoulder, and understanding, she pulled away just as he came. He squirted into the water, groaning, white substance visible in the transparent water.

When he stopped panting, he smiled breathlessly. "That was _amazing_."

"I'm glad. I, uh... didn't really know what I was doing", she admitted.

"Well, it didn't show", he winked at her, and she laughed.

In the aftermath of what she'd just done, her own throbbing need came to the front of her mind. Watching Hiccup lose control like that was hot; she knew that already from when she used her hand. But this was a whole new level.

She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to.

"Want me to return the favour?" Hiccup asked.

"You don't have to if you don't want to", she replied immediately. The mere idea of him doing it was arousing, but she didn't want Hiccup to feel like he owed her anything.

"I do", he said. "In fact, I... I've kind of wanted to for a while."

She was surprised. "Why didn't you mention it?"

"I... didn't know how to bring it up."

"Fair enough." It wasn't like she had talked to him about it, after all. She grinned. "Well then."

Hiccup got off the rock and Astrid sat down on it. He looked nervous.

"Heads up, I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Neither did I. It's fine. I don't expect you to be perfect." She winked. "You can always use your fingers afterwards."

"Deal", he said, before leaning down towards her lap.

* * *

The visit to Hiccup's mother went well. The one to his father... as well as could be expected. However, once they left, Hiccup couldn't help but be nervous as they parted for Thor's Rock. Astrid had reassured him that nobody else but Berk would have such a negative reaction to the dragons, and he wanted to believe her, really. He also wanted this to work. It seemed like living there would be the closest thing to being in the culture they both knew and had grown up with.

But he remembered all too well the first time he'd tried to convince someone of Toothless' real nature.

His mother had also encouraged him. After hearing their plan, she was more than happy to have more people bonding with dragons. She'd even given them a few tips on how to care for their health, should they need them.

Valka had also been surprised to see the rings on their hands, but on the whole she had been pleased about it, or so he thought. She'd congratulated them, and Einar, who'd been around, had seemed surprised by the whole deal.

"So Eret was right all along?" he'd asked, and Astrid had laughed and explained the truth.

After spending a while there, they'd left, and as they approached Berk, he'd been getting more and more anxious, until Astrid suddenly called for them to stop.

"Hiccup, we don't have to do this", she'd told him.

"But I want to", he'd said. "Since we're close and all."

"I know. But I think that… maybe I should stay behind. And… you should probably take off your ring, too." That last sentence had been spoken quietly, and Hiccup had stared at her incredulously. Take off his ring? Why would he want to do that?

He'd apparently spoken out loud, because she'd answered him. "So your dad doesn't see it."

"But… Astrid-"

"Look, I don't want you to do it, if we're being honest. I don't like asking you to pretend we're not married. But I can see that this fills you with anxiety, and for good reason. I'm afraid that Stoick will see that ring and… I don't know, be so angry that he refuses to talk to you. I don't want to be the thing that comes between you and your father."

"You're right, I feel like that too… but you're my wife. I should be able to speak to my _father_ about my wife."

"I know, Hiccup, but what _should_ be isn't always what really _is_. I'm not saying you should never tell him, but coming out of nowhere and saying we're married is probably too much. Don't tell him anything, this time. Ease him into it. Start talking about me more often, until he gets used to it. Imply that we're much closer now. That way, when you tell him, he'll be more prepared to face it."

She spoke logically, but he could see that her words pained her. It was hard for him, too, but he agreed it was the best course of action.

So with a heavy heart, he'd taken off his ring and stored it safely into his flight suit's safest pocket. Then he'd gone to Berk, and had a talk with his father about how everything was going. Stoick, as usual, had been ecstatic to see him, although he did scowl whenever his son mentioned Astrid. But he didn't let that dissuade him from talking about her. He wanted to tell his father he was married, as soon as possible. And for that, he had to get his father started on getting used to it.

Afterwards, he'd put his ring back on and felt miles better. It was strange, really, how quickly he'd grown used to the feel of it in his finger, even though it had been such a short time.

And now came another part of their voyage that was potentially difficult, as well. He just hoped it would be more doable. As Thor's Rock became visible on the horizon, anxiety began to well up inside him.

"Do we just… land?" Hiccup asked. It seemed like too direct an approach.

"I think so. I mean, it's not like they have net launchers to make us fall off."

"But what if… they try to attack us?"

"They won't. Remember, they're not familiar with dragons. They're going to be more surprised than anything, and by the time we land, they'll see we're not a threat." She hesitated. "Still, let's go quickly, just in case."

"Okay." He patted Toothless' head. "Let's do this, bud. Don't worry. I won't let them hurt you." His dragon warbled in response.

And so, a few minutes later, they were over the island, going down. Hiccup could hear the villagers' astonished exclamations, but not one of them seemed to be ready to kill them. Which was a relief.

When they had landed, he looked around. Most faces were surprised, and a few squinted in recognition of them. While many had their hands on their weapons, they seemed cautious, not aggressive. This might be easier than he thought.

Toothless began to growl, but Hiccup put a hand on his head to stop him. Scaring them wouldn't do them any favours; people tended to lash out when afraid.

No one spoke, until suddenly, a booming voice rang out over the people. "What is the meaning of this?"

A few people parted so a man who was obviously the chief could come through. He frowned as he recognised them, and then stared at their dragons.

As far as Hiccup could tell, he was suspicious, but nothing more.

"You have some explaining to do", was all he said.

"Well..." Hiccup begun. "These are our dragons."

"I can see- wait. _Your_ dragons?" He seemed to notice the saddles. "You _ride_ them?"

"Yeah, we do."

"I thought dragons were supposed to be ruthless beasts? That's what the stories say, anyway."

"I know, and for centuries we used to think that, but... I discovered it wasn't so."

And so he told them an abbreviated version of how he'd shot down Toothless, and how they'd grown close. When he was done with the story, the chief looked pensive, and everyone seemed to have relaxed. Nobody was fingering their weapons anymore, and some were looking at the dragons with curiosity. Those were all good signals, but he waited for the chief to speak.

"Well", he said at last, "if they are as smart as you say they are... I believe you, I guess." Hiccup let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

The four of them were fine. They believed him. Sheer relief overtook him.

The chief wasn't done, however. "What I don't understand is this: why did you want to tell us this? It's not like we attack dragons on a regular basis or anything."

Hiccup gulped. He had been so worried with how they might react to the dragons, that he hadn't actually thought about how he'd ask the chief if they could stay.

Astrid spoke up. "Perhaps that's a matter we should discuss with you more privately?"

The chief stared at them for a second before nodding. "Aye, very well. Everyone, back to your duties!"

In a matter of minutes, most of the crowd had dispersed, but a handful of them stayed, obviously intrigued by Toothless and Stormfly. All their lives, they'd heard about these creatures, but had never seen one, and some of them didn't even believe they were real.

Among these people, Hiccup noticed, were Aron and his family.

"Hey", he said, sheepishly. "Can... can I..."

"Not right now", Astrid said, and smiled at him. "But later, I promise."

"Okay." With that, he and his parents left, and the few people still there followed suit. Hiccup had no doubt that, the moment he and Astrid showed up at the boy's house to fulfil that promise, everyone would come.

But for now, they had other matters to tend to. "Come this way", the chief waved them. They followed him, their dragons walking behind them.

Once inside the man's hut, Astrid spoke. "We came here because... we'd like to live here."

"And you want to do so with your dragons", the chief concluded.

Hiccup nodded. "They're not pets, they're our friends and partners."

"Can you vouch for them? Can you assure me they won't cause any trouble?"

"They won't", Astrid said firmly. "They're well trained."

"What about their diet? I don't think we can afford to feed them."

Hiccup waved a hand. "They eat fish. They can get that easily, and even fly away to do that so they won't hurt the fishermen's catches."

There was a minute of silence, in which the chief stroked his beard thoughtfully while Hiccup tried not to fidget. Astrid looked perfectly reassured, but he could tell it was a facade.

Finally, the man spoke again. "Well then. As long as you two provide for yourselves, which I'm assuming you can do, and keep your dragons in line, there should be no problems. Plus, you're Vikings like us. And we have to stick together, don't you think?"

Hiccup, in his relief, laughed.

* * *

 **A/N: A lot of you felt that last chapter was a bit rushed, and on reading what I'd originally put on this one, I thought it seemed too fast, too... so I slowed it down. That's the beauty of reviews, I get to see your opinions and take them into account :P**

 **Anyway, I won't be near a computer until Wednesday, but I do hope to be able to post two chapters this week, since I don't have classes :D**


	17. One for all, all for one

**A/N: Some chapters ago, I thanked a reviewer who's been here since Burning. But there are some reviewers who came during Phoenix and have always reviewed ever since, so they deserve some recognition, too. So shoutout to aaquater and JasmineDragon22! You guys rock :D**

* * *

"That looks great, Astrid", Runa complemented, peering over her shoulder.

"Thanks", she smiled. "I have a great teacher."

"Oh, shush", the other woman laughed. "You had some knowledge before, I could tell." Astrid gave her a flat stare, and she added, "In some areas. In others..."

"I was horrible", Astrid laughed. "The truth isn't offensive."

"Even so." Runa gestured to the stew brewing on the hearth, containing a mix of vegetables and some meat. "It smells delicious, and you've been learning to cook for, what? A month?"

"Give or take", she nodded. "By the way, thanks again for agreeing to teach me. I think many women would've seen my skills, or lack thereof, and run in the opposite direction."

"It's no problem", Runa waved her hand as she walked away. "It's the least I can do, after all. You saved my son."

Astrid huffed. "You know you don't owe me anything for that."

"You may not think so, but we do. Not everyone would risk their lives for a stranger."

"I suppose that's true." She knew it was pointless having this discussion with her _again_.

"Exactly. So, if you think that helping you and Hiccup with your house-keeping skills is enough, then I'm happy to do it. Although it surprises me that he does chores, too. Thor knows most men run away from anything related to cooking or cleaning."

"I know. But, as I'm sure you've noticed, Hiccup isn't your traditional Viking."

Runa chuckled. "True."

She finished cooking, thanked Runa once more and then left for her house. Stormfly, who'd been napping nearby, got up and walked with her.

What a strange concept that was, her _house_. The thought of having a permanent place to live in. Something she'd never had in her whole life, yet she did now. And it had been made with her (well, and Hiccup's) bare hands.

The other villagers had helped them, of course. After all, neither of them had any experience building houses, and while Hiccup was clever and could work out things like his flight suit, an entire hut was something else. The chief had apologised that there were no spare houses for them, but they'd assured him it was fine.

Astrid had been nervous when they spoke to him. There was no reason for Folke to reject them, but then again, there was no reason for him to accept them, either. Fortunately, everything had gone well, including introducing the dragons. That was another thing that had brought her anxiety, but she'd pretended to be unaffected. Hiccup had been freaking out, so she needed to be the voice of reason.

During their first days here, Toothless and Stormfly had been the object of the village's attention. It was understandable; they were curious. Many had dared to pet them, and become friendly with them, often sneaking them fish treats. Others hadn't been as friendly, but not once had she caught a threatening glance at the dragons. They accepted them; it was as simple as that.

By now, the novelty had worn off and people didn't ask her to stop so they could pet Stormfly; only the youngest children did. Which was great, because she wanted to get home soon.

When she arrived, she closed the door and sighed. She took a look around, confirming that there was nothing that needed to be done; Hiccup had finished cleaning last night, and he was at the forge right now.

So that left her with a problem that was becoming all too frequent: having absolutely nothing to do.

At first, she and Hiccup had both been too busy to have any free time. And once the house was done, Runa had offered to teach her and Hiccup some house chores. Her husband could do some things, having had to take care of his house because his father was never in it, but his knowledge was pretty basic. Astrid was finally improving in the kitchen, by having an actual teacher instead of just watching others, although Hiccup still cooked sometimes. They tried to split all their tasks as much as possible.

Once they were settled in, it was time for them to contribute to the island. Hiccup's skills meant that he was immediately sent to work with the blacksmith. But Astrid... Astrid wasn't expected to do anything other than run the house.

It was common here, she'd noticed. The men did things like hunting, chopping wood or skinning the animals, while their wives took care of the children and the home. It was strange, since in the north, everyone, regardless of gender, was always battle-ready. Women staying home seemed to be more a characteristic of the south, from what she'd seen. Perhaps, if these people traded with other nearby islands, they'd adopted some of their customs?

It seemed to be the case. Another thing she'd noticed was that here, _nobody_ was a very skilled fighter, man or woman. It appeared that they didn't get many attacks. There were a few people more or less trained, just in case, but that was it.

And there was the problem for Astrid: she'd expected to put her skills as a fighter to good use, but so far, they hadn't been necessary. Hiccup had his own place; she needed to find hers. And if she didn't fight, what else could she contribute? Sure, she was an excellent scheme-maker, but again, that wasn't going to come in handy for anything. The chief wasn't going to ask her to draw up plans of any sort.

She could've gone exploring or something, but that would alert Hiccup to the fact that something was wrong. And she didn't want to tell him just yet. She wanted to try and solve her problem by herself. After all, the only thing Hiccup could really do was worry.

* * *

The next day, she was woken up by shouting. She practically ran out of the house, Stormfly squawking in alarm as she padded beside her. She tried to stop someone to ask what was happening, but nobody answered. At last, she spotted Aron.

"What's going on?" she asked, approaching him. The boy had a frantic expression on his face.

"The chief of Insulae Deo is coming, and he's out for blood!"

Astrid wondered if Insulae Deo was one of the places they'd visited. "Is he going to attack?"

He shook his head. "Not the whole island", he explained. "He considers us to be 'heretics' and wants us to live under his rule. Some time ago, he came to us with an offer."

"Which you obviously refused. So what does he want?"

"He has sent us a challenge. Our best warrior against his best warrior. If we win, he leaves us alone. If he wins, we have to bow down to him."

"And why can't you just ignore the challenge?" she asked, perplexed. She knew Vikings were stubborn and couldn't turn down a fight, but this was much more.

"Because Insulae Deo has a lot of influence around here. If we refuse to acknowledge their chief, then the other islands will stop trading with us, or even turn against us."

"That's awful", she said. The chief of this island sounded like Drago. Someone who wanted to conquer, no matter the cost.

"Yeah, but it is what it is. So now we have to choose our best fighter, which is hard."

"When's the fight?"

"As soon as we choose. They're already here, at the docks."

Astrid studied him. "Is something else the matter?"

He sighed. "Dad is one of the candidates", he explained, "but he's far from the best. If the other fighter has more stamina, or is stronger..." He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't have to. He was worried that his father wasn't good enough, and would be hurt.

The people of this island needed a warrior, a real warrior. That much was clear.

Well, this was perfect, wasn't it? It was as if Thor himself had arranged an opportunity for her. "I'll do it", she said.

Aron looked at her, aghast. "What? No, you can't. It's too dangerous."

"It's going to be dangerous for anyone", she said, already resolute. "And, modesty aside, I'm an excellent fighter. I'm willing to do this."

The boy considered her for a few seconds. "In that case, you need to go find the chief at the docks, _now_. Do you want me to tell Hiccup?"

She nodded. "Please do", she said, "and take Stormfly with you." He wouldn't like it, of course. But, just like _she_ had to accept the fact that Hiccup sometimes did dangerous things like jumping off his dragon, _he_ had to accept that she did stuff like this, too.

* * *

Hiccup ran against the crowd. The people were rushing towards the seats in the sort of arena they had; they didn't want to miss the fight. He, however, was more preoccupied with finding Astrid, who was with the chief, or so Aron had told him.

He couldn't believe that she'd do this. Not fight for what she thought was a good cause; she often did that. But the fact that she hadn't even gone to tell him herself, and had made a decision without consulting him in the matter. This wasn't like the time she fought off those pirates; this was premeditated. Of course, he was aware that, if she wanted to do it, then she would, regardless of what he thought. He just thought they had better communication than that.

He wished Toothless was beside him, but the villagers had told him it was best if the other chief didn't see him, so the dragon was at home.

At last, he found the door to the arena where Astrid was speaking to Folke, the chief of Thor Rock.

"...can't thank you enough for doing this", the man was saying. "We've seen you in action, and I think we all agree you're the best fighter we have."

"But that doesn't mean you have to risk your life just like that", Hiccup said, stepping up to them.

The chief looked at him, then at her, gauging the mood. "I have to go with that crazy old man", he said, stepping back. "Good luck, Astrid." With that, he left.

Astrid sighed. "Hiccup..."

"Was this really necessary?" he asked, and he could hear the hurt in his voice. "Wasn't once enough?"

"Hiccup", she said firmly. "This was the right thing to do. I've seen the men of this island in action, and too many years of peace have left them without practice. I'm much better than them, and from what we've seen, southern tribes aren't aggressive by nature, either."

"So you're just riding on the hope that you're better than whoever their warrior is?" It was still incredibly risky.

"Not only that", she told him. "In this kind of fight, usually, it's forbidden to have another _person_ helping you."

He pressed his lips together as he understood her meaning. "You count on Stormfly to help? I was told we shouldn't show them our dragons."

"Only if necessary", she amended. "And, well, if they say it's against the rules... we can always scare them off with the dragons, if we have to."

"I guess." He sighed. "Just... promise me that you won't do something like this again. That you'll let me know before making a decision of this kind. Imagine how I felt when Aron told me that you were going to risk your neck for the tribe."

"I know. I'm sorry. Aron implied it was urgent, so I didn't have much time to go over it with you." She stepped closer to him and hugged him. "I promise I'll tell you next time."

He wound his arms tightly around her. "Win, please", he murmured in her ear. "For my sanity."

She pulled back and winked at him. "Don't I always?"

He was going to say something else, but at that moment Folke called for the warriors to step forward. Astrid went towards the door, while Hiccup ran towards the stands where everyone else already was.

He watched Astrid's rival as he came into view. He was young, younger than Astrid even, but with an impressive amount of muscle. He was only wearing some shorts, tied with a belt in which several sheathed knives were visible. But what struck Hiccup the most was his completely expressionless face. Even as the chief of the other island explained the rules, he remained impassive.

Finally, Folke cried out, "Begin!"

Astrid and the boy began circling each other. She drew her axe from her back, while he took two of his many knives. It seemed like a knife wouldn't be of much use against a much larger weapon, but Hiccup knew he shouldn't underestimate the boy. Astrid definitely wouldn't.

Suddenly, she feinted towards his right, but he jumped back. Then he immediately stepped forward and threw a vicious cut at her arm, which she parried with some difficulty, using her axe's handle. However, with his other hand, her rival threw the other knife at her. Since her own weapon was stretched too far, she was forced to duck to dodge it.

Hiccup felt his heart catch in his throat, especially when the boy took another one of his knives. Astrid was fast, though, and before he could aim it she jumped up, launching her leg high into the air and kicking the blade off his hand. She had dropped her axe to do this, but then, in an amazing display of dexterity, she crouched and somersaulted backwards and over her weapon, grabbing it again in the process. Then she stood once more, unharmed and waiting.

Hiccup felt he could breathe again, and thanked the gods for the amazing athletic abilities they had given Astrid.

He had been too worried about her to notice, but now he saw that the boy was cradling his left hand, and he deduced that his fingers must be broken or at least injured now. That gave Astrid some leverage.

Her rival grabbed two knives again, but through the blank expression, it was clear he was grinding his teeth in pain. With his right hand, he threw the knife at Astrid's thighs. It was a clever strategy: too high to jump over, too low to duck. However, he didn't count on Astrid's flexibility: she simply jumped while doing a split mid-air, safely avoiding the blow. The crowd let out gasps.

While Astrid was in the air, the boy ran to her. She retaliated by throwing her axe at him, and for a moment Hiccup was horrified that she'd relinquished her only weapon.

Then he saw what she'd really done: she'd distracted him long enough that she was able to land, grab his uninjured hand, and quickly twist his fingers backwards. The resulting 'snap' was sickening, but Hiccup understood. She was trying to get him to give up, by leaving him defenceless.

The boy threw a punch at her, clumsy and instinctual, and she bent backwards to dodge it. While she was in that awkward position, he pushed her, and she lost her balance, falling to the ground. Immediately, the boy was on her, but Hiccup's instant of terror vanished when he saw him struggle to get a knife out.

Astrid bucked her hips suddenly and threw him off her, quickly snatching one of the knives from his belt in the process. She held it over him, and the crowd roared... but, like Hiccup knew would happen, she didn't kill him. She simply cut open the belt with the knives, and took it. Then she strode towards her axe, throwing the belt over her shoulder. The boy lunged after her, but Astrid didn't falter.

Weapon in hand, she turned just in time to put the edge of her blade against the boy's neck. He immediately stopped. She told him something, it was impossible to hear what, but Hiccup would bet it was an offer of mercy.

The boy kneeled, and the crowd began cheering. Hiccup let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

It was over, and Astrid was perfectly fine.

* * *

"Stop this now", she said, "and let your hands heal. Or, I can cut your neck. Your choice."

He kneeled. Smart boy. "In front of the eyes of God, I have failed. May I be punished as He sees fit."

Astrid didn't know what he meant, but she really hoped he was just being metaphorical.

The chiefs said something, but she wasn't listening anymore. She was looking for Hiccup in the crowd. She knew this must've been nerve-wracking for him to watch.

When she saw him, she smiled, and then winked. He responded by blowing her a kiss, and she blinked in surprise. He'd never done something like that before.

The chiefs walked over to them. The guy from Insular Deo just took his warrior, glared at her, and left, but Folke was grinning.

"That was brilliant, Astrid."

"Thank you. I try."

He laughed. "I noticed. You put all of us who call ourselves 'warriors' to shame."

"Come now, surely some of you could've handled it", she said, even as she knew it wasn't really the case. It was why she'd decided to do this herself, after all.

"Not so sure. Which brings me to an idea I had watching you." He peered at her. "How would you like to train us to fight?"

* * *

"No, not like that", she said. She went over to the two boys who were sparring and corrected their stances. "If you don't watch what your legs are doing, a mere push will be enough to make you fall over, and that could be deadly. It's not just your arms, remember that."

They sighed. "Yes, Astrid" they said in unison.

She hid a grin. "Very well. I think that's enough for today. You may leave."

As they left their practice swords and walked away, Astrid looked around. They were the last ones; it was getting late, and most people had other chores to do. That was just as well; she wanted to get home, too.

She began picking up some of the things her students had left: shields, swords, barrels for target practice. The elder people picked up after themselves, but the younger children tended to forget that part when they had to leave, eager to tell their parents what they'd learned. Still, she didn't mind. To her surprise, she'd found that she actually quite enjoyed this.

The most important thing was patience, and she'd learned it a long time ago. Patience to show her movements step by step so that everyone could replicate it, correct people, answer their questions, and give advice when she watched them fight. While it had its challenges, it wasn't hard, and it made her feel useful. Hiccup jokingly complained that he had more swords to repair at the forge now, but he wasn't serious, she knew.

More than anything, she felt like they'd fully accepted her now. Not that they hadn't before, but now she had become a part of their community. Her and Hiccup were just another family living in Thor's Rock. This feeling of belonging was something new. Sure, she hadn't felt out of place among her employees, but that was a community she'd forged all by herself; it was different.

She felt at home, not just because of Hiccup, but because of this place. What a strange thought.

Stormfly, who had been hanging out with her, squawked suddenly, announcing the presence of someone. She looked up to see Aron coming.

"Hey", he said. "Need a hand?"

"Sure", she answered, and they put things in order silently.

After her fight, he had joined her school, and sometimes sought her out to ask for advice, usually on women. By now, she knew that, if he came to her specifically, it was because something was bothering him and he didn't want to tell his parents. It made her uncomfortable sometimes, seeing how much Runa had helped her, but she'd hate to break Aron's trust.

Finally, he spoke. "I... I think I fucked up."

She waited for him to continue.

"I... we..."

"Speak, Aron."

He took a deep breath. "Inge might be pregnant", he blurted out.

 _That_ was unexpected. But she remained calm. "Might?"

"Yeah..." Suddenly, the dam broke. "We didn't mean for it to happen, I swear. We just... we were in the forest, we snuck out, and things just..."

"Yeah, I know. When was this?"

"Last night."

"All right." She thought for a moment. "Everything isn't lost. There is a certain tea that I can give her that will help stop this. It won't be pleasant, but it will be effective." She had the ingredients at home; she could do it discreetly.

"Really?" He was relieved. "Oh, thank you. Can we get it now? Inge's parents aren't home, and I can give it to her without anyone knowing."

"Of course."

They quickly finished, and then went to Astrid's house, where she prepared the tea and gave it to Aron. He left, thanking her profusely.

She was going to put the herbs away, but something made her stop.

Among these herbs were all the ingredients for moon tea, which she'd drank every month ever since she'd first started bleeding. After her experience when she was ten, she'd realised that it was probably best to make sure she didn't get pregnant, ever. It would ruin her life, her reputation, everything. So she steadily drank it. And she didn't stop after she came to the south with Hiccup.

She hadn't questioned it, really. It was second nature to her, at this point. But... she hadn't spoken to Hiccup about it, either. Their neighbours often asked teasing questions about expanding their family, but she hadn't even thought of it seriously, until this moment.

Before, it would've been impossible to consider having children. Now that she could... did she want to?

Hiccup would be an amazing father, she had no doubt. She wasn't so sure about herself, though.

So deep in thought was she, she didn't hear him come in, and jumped when he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Evening, milady" he mumbled against her neck.

"Evening", she replied, for once not getting distracted by his ministrations.

"What is that?" he asked, nodding towards the herbs.

"Moon tea ingredients", she told him without preamble.

It took him a moment to put two and two together. Of course, having never had a mother or sisters, it made sense he wasn't so familiar with this.

"Oh." There was only surprise in his voice, but she wanted to see his face, so she turned around.

"Yeah. And I was thinking... I've been taking it all this time, and yet it never occurred to me to ask you if you wanted me to continue."

"Because if you don't continue... you might get pregnant?"

"Yes."

"So you're asking me if I want children?"

She nodded.

He pursed his lips in thought. "I guess?"

"You don't sound very sure", she noted.

"That's because I've never really thought about it. I mean, being the heir, one day I'd be chief, and then _I_ would have to have an heir. Like marriage, it was both an obligation and a future thing."

"Yeah, I thought more or less the same. So? Do you want to, knowing you don't _have_ to?"

"I... I suppose it would be nice." He studied her face. "What about you?"

"I... On the one hand, I'd like to give a child the chance to have the childhood I didn't have. With a permanent home and friends. On the other hand... I'm not so sure I'd be a good mother."

There. It was out. And it was the truth. She'd been a murderer for years; how could she possibly bring life to the world? How could she look her child in the face and tell them about what was right and what was wrong, knowing that the line for her had always been extremely blurred?

She must've said this aloud, because Hiccup sighed. "Astrid, we've been over this a million times. Owning up to your mistakes shows you've grown. You're not that person anymore."

"But how can I presume to tell anyone what to do, knowing that I did those things?"

"Nobody has perfect parents, Astrid. In fact, I think every parent hopes their children won't make the same mistakes that they themselves made. This is just a... special case of that."

"That's sugarcoating it and you know it."

"Maybe, but it's also the truth." He smiled. "Look, if you want to do this, don't let your own mind get in the way. I'll be here, like always. And hey, parenthood is supposed to look terrifying from the outside. It's okay to be scared."

She sighed and hugged him. "Thank you", she said, head buried in his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "Anytime."

"So... how many do you want?"

"No idea. I say we start with one, and then see where we go from there."

"That sounds reasonable."

"What about... when?"

She considered it. "Maybe not right now", she said. "I think we both need some time to get used to the idea."

"Yeah, that'd be nice", he agreed.

"We'll just bring it up when we decide we want to", she said, and he nodded.

"Okay." He kissed her hair again. "I love you."

She pulled back enough to look him in the face, and smiled. "I love you too, babe", she said, and then stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.


	18. Announcement

**A/N: So... sorry about the long wait. Unfortunately, I had homework to do, and that took precedence over this.**

* * *

"Astrid."

"Mmm."

"Astrid. Wake up."

"No."

"You're going to be late."

"Am not", she mumbled, and turned around. But Hiccup was relentless.

"Yes, you are. Come on." He tugged on the sheet she was holding, pulling it out of her grasp.

She sighed. "I don't want to get up."

Suddenly, concern appeared in his face. "Are you sick?"

"I'm fine. Just tired."

"Nightmares?" he asked in a sympathetic tone. While they weren't anywhere near as frequent as they once had been, they still haunted her every now and then.

But she didn't remember anything from last night. In fact, she was sure she'd had a deep, peaceful sleep. She told him so.

"Then why are you so tired?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to call off your class?"

"No, no, I'll go." With more effort than it should've taken, she sat up. She had no idea of why her limbs seemed to be weighing her down so much today, or why the bed looked so alluring. Yet she wouldn't let it stop her from going about her day.

"Well…" Hiccup fidgeted, and she smiled.

"If you have to go, go. Don't be late on my account." The master blacksmith, with whom Hiccup worked, had a limited tolerance for tardiness.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"Breakfast?" At the speed she was going, she wouldn't have time to cook.

"I already made it. There's a bowl downstairs for you."

"Perfect." When he still hesitated, she laughed. "Just go already."

"All right." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "See you later, milady."

He walked out of their bedroom, and Astrid began her morning routine, trying to hurry up as much as she could. It was hard when she really felt like every movement cost her more than usual.

The warm food helped lift the fog from her mind, and she was only a few minutes late to her class. Nobody made any comment about it.

She could tell that, in her current state, showing new moves might prove more challenging than usual, so instead she did a practical lesson, setting her students against each other, correcting their mistakes and praising their advances. By the time the lesson ended, she felt a little better, although there was still some residual fatigue in her mind.

"Astrid?" Aron, who was there helping her as usual, stepped closer. "Are you all right?"

"Sure", she smiled. "Why?"

"You seemed a bit… _off_ today."

She made sure not to react to those words. She hadn't realised that Aron knew her well enough by now to be able to tell when something was wrong.

"I'm a bit tired, is all."

"Oh. Didn't sleep well?"

"No", she lied, not wanting him to worry. Hiccup was enough.

"Happens to all of us, I guess", he shrugged. "Maybe you should go take a nap."

"Nah, I can take it. Don't worry about me."

During lunch, she made sure to eat more than usual, to give herself the energy she seemed to be missing today. Hiccup had come home, and he looked at her with concern.

"Are you sure you want to take the afternoon lesson?"

"I'm _fine_ , Hiccup. I'll just go to bed early tonight, I guess."

The rest of the day went by in much the same way. She had no idea of why she felt so tired, but she made sure to sleep extra that night.

The following day, she felt better. But two days later, she was exhausted again.

She didn't really understand it, until one afternoon, when she went to get some spices from their cupboard, and accidentally knocked something over. When she picked it up, it turned out to be a moon tea ingredient. And that was when it struck her.

Her period was late.

It should've come over a week ago, she estimated.

Before her emotions began boiling over, she forced herself to calm down and consider it rationally. She _had_ missed periods before in her life, and been late. Maybe this was one of those times.

Except when that had happened, it had usually coincided with a particularly stressful period of her life. The complete opposite of what was going on now.

Could it be?

She'd stopped taking the moon tea a while ago. A few months after their talk, Hiccup had told her he felt ready. She hadn't, but somehow she knew that she might never feel that way. She thought maybe she should just do it, even if she didn't consider herself to be prepared for it. So now it had been... what? A month? A bit longer than that.

A month and a half of her not drinking any tea, and, well... she made love with Hiccup often. It was obvious that they'd done it during her fertile days, several times. She wasn't taking anything to prevent a pregnancy anymore, so logically, it was perfectly plausible.

Suddenly, that inexplicable exhaustion she'd been feeling came to mind. Was that one of the signs? She knew about morning sickness, but not much else.

What if this was it?

Twin feelings of panic and excitement began rising up inside her. On the one hand, she did want a child, specifically Hiccup's. And there was something else, the feeling of actually _creating_ a life inside of her. Of knowing that even someone like _her,_ who had brought so much death to the world, could also bring life to it.

On the other hand... well, she was a notorious ex-criminal and murderer. Could she really raise a child and have them turn out normal?

Of course they would, but because Hiccup would make sure they didn't go down a wrong path. He would be the example. Not herself.

She sighed. She might be getting all worked up over nothing. She didn't even know she was pregnant for sure yet.

Should she tell Hiccup? No, she decided. If it turned out to be nothing, she'd crush his hopes. Better wait until she was completely sure.

* * *

Hiccup felt like he was walking on eggshells around Astrid lately. Her sudden fatigue, though not as bad as it had been at first, had not completely vanished. On those days, he'd have to practically force her to get up and go about her day. (The second time it happened, he'd made the mistake of letting her sleep in, telling her students she was indisposed that day. She'd yelled at him over it for a few minutes, although that night she apologised profusely for it. It wasn't an experience he wanted to repeat.) And of course, like most people when they're tired, she snapped at anyone far more easily, even if she always regretted it later.

On top of that, she was also having some stomach problems, it seemed. She'd all but stopped eating meat, which she usually loved, and started cooking far more vegetables instead. The change wasn't doing her well, though, because more often than not, he'd find her puking outside.

Of course, Hiccup wasn't stupid. He knew what all those signs seemed to suggest. But Astrid didn't say anything to him, so he remained silent. When she wanted to speak to him, she would. He wasn't going to pressure her; he was aware that this was a much bigger deal to her than it was to him.

Not that he didn't care about having children; that was far from the truth. The idea of forming a family with a faceless stranger had always felt like an obligation, but Astrid was no stranger. He wanted a child with her, truly. Even if the idea of being a father terrified him.

There were two reasons why he knew Astrid would have a harder time than him. The first one, obviously, was the fact that she'd be the one carrying the child, and from what he remembered of other women back in Berk, it wasn't exactly the most pleasant of experiences. And the second one... well, she'd told him herself. She didn't think she could be a mother, not with her past. Hiccup was sure that was something that would haunt her for a long time, maybe forever. There were only so many times he could tell her that she was a good person, and that he was there for her, without sounding repetitive. And she knew it, at least the latter part; he didn't have to say it out loud.

And women's emotions went all out of whack when they got pregnant, so that would just make matters worse. He was mentally preparing to deal with Astrid going back to daily nightmares, or something like that.

So, for all those reasons, he waited. If Astrid knew she was pregnant, she'd tell him in her own time. And if she only suspected, well, she probably wanted to be certain.

She'd let him know. Of that much, he was sure.

* * *

He'd noticed, obviously. He suspected, same as she did, but he respected her silence, and she appreciated that more than she could tell him.

But that morning, when she had to run out of the bed to vomit violently, she felt like something might be different, after all.

She hadn't wanted to go to the healer before, wanting to see what happened. Well, it was time, it seemed.

Hiccup had had to leave early, so she was alone. She realised that that was strangely relieving. She wasn't sure how she would react to the news, if it indeed was pregnancy, and she knew that Hiccup wouldn't feel anything other than happiness. She couldn't say it would be the same for her; her reluctance would make itself present, and it might overshadow her own happiness.

She didn't want to ruin things for him. If he came with her, she wouldn't be able to pretend. But if she heard it first, she'd have some time to get used to it, and push her doubts aside enough to let more pleasant feelings show.

So she walked out and went to see Harvald, the healer. Stormfly came with her. She smiled at anyone who went past her, revealing nothing of her inner turmoil.

When she got there, he was treating another patient, so she waited until the person was out and then walked in. He smiled at her.

"Ah, Astrid. What can I do for you? I heard you've been tired lately. Perhaps something to help with that?"

"No, thank you. But you can help me identify the cause."

"Let me guess. Are you having nausea, in addition to that? Perhaps you feel more irritable? Or-"

"Cut it out, Harvald", she snapped before thinking, and then sighed. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Sorry. I just-"

"I know. You're a smart woman, Astrid. I'm sure you've figured out what's going on by now."

"I'm mostly sure, but I wanted you to confirm it."

"Of course, of course. Come, lay down here."

She felt a bit uncomfortable with his prodding at first, especially the physical part. She'd taken off her top in front of other men sometimes, but this was something else. Her entire lower half was exposed to his searching gaze. She felt terribly vulnerable.

Soon, though, she was able to relax. Harvald was very professional in how he went about his task. Not once did she feel like any of his touches lingered more than they had to. She'd never been treated by a man before, but she supposed he had to be as unaffected by what he did as a woman was.

Finally, after feeling up her stomach a bit, he told her to get dressed again.

"So?" she asked as she pulled her leggings up. The suspense was killing her.

Harvald looked at her with a completely serious expression for a second... before he broke out into a wide grin. "Congratulations", he told her. "You're pregnant."

* * *

Hiccup sighed as he _finally_ finished the last order. Today had been a long, hard day; he'd come early to get started, yet still took forever to be done. He had no idea of why so many people were requesting things, but he hoped he didn't have another day like this, at least for a while.

"Well, that's all", he called out to the blacksmith.

"Good. Now go home, Hiccup, and get some rest. I can tell you're tired."

"Thanks. You too."

He called Toothless, who was napping by the fire, and left. He was exhausted, so his mind just wandered while he walked home. Before he could go in, though, he heard Astrid's voice coming from the stable. It was a building they'd made next to their house for their dragons to stay in, so there was no reason for her to be there, unless she was talking to Stormfly or something.

He walked in, and sure enough, there she was. The Nadder, who was lying on her spot, squawked when she saw him, interrupting her rider.

"Astrid?" he asked tentatively.

He heard a sigh. Then she got up and turned around to face him. "Hey", she smiled. "Long day?"

"Yeah. What's going on?"

She closed her eyes for a second. "I'll tell you inside."

Toothless curled up next to Stormfly while they went into the house.

"So?" he said. "What's going on?"

"Dinner first. You must be starving."

Despite her obvious stalling, he _was_ hungry, so he didn't call her out on it. He let her warm some stew by the fire and then bring it to him, sitting at his side on the table. While he ate, he could see her pensive expression, and could tell she was trying to figure out how to tell him what was happening.

He had a strong suspicion of what it was, but he didn't want to second-guess her. It could be something else entirely. So he waited.

At last, she took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

So he'd been right. That was his first thought.

Then the realisation began to dawn on him. She was _pregnant_. They were going to have a child.

He was going to be a father.

The thought was so strange... and yet it filled him with joy, although tinged with some nervousness. A _father_. Him.

He tried to say something, but found himself unable to express what he was feeling.

"Hiccup?" Astrid's voice was concerned, and he realised his silence was making her nervous.

A grin broke free in his face. "You're pregnant", was all he could say.

She smiled back. "Yes, that's what I said."

"I know. I just..."

"Can't believe it?"

He nodded, still unable to speak.

"Me either."

He noticed her somewhat serious expression, and, struggling to contain his emotions, sobered. He remembered her doubts all too clearly. This was something that both of them should enjoy. "Are you... happy?" he asked tentatively.

Her eyes widened in surprise at the question. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You don't look like it", he pointed out.

"Sorry", she smiled sheepishly. "I was just like you when Harvald told me. But all this time I've been waiting to tell you, and I was alone with my thoughts, and, well..."

She didn't finish, but she didn't have to. He understood.

He pulled her off her chair and onto his lap, weaving his arms around her. She clung to him, burying her face in his chest.

He kissed her hair. "Astrid, listen to me. I know you have doubts, and I guess that, until this baby is born-" the words gave him a thrill "-you'll keep having them. But you can do this. We're in it together, and I'm not planning to leave you alone to deal with this."

"I know that. I just... have to keep fighting these thoughts. It's much easier when you're around."

"Well then, I'll have to stick to your side for now, won't I?" he asked playfully, and she laughed.

"I doubt they'll let you."

"It's my life, I can do what I want with it."

"I think the blacksmith would disagree."

"I don't care." He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back so he could look her in the eye. "We did this together, Astrid, and I'll always be there for you. So please, don't ever hide what you're feeling from me. If these negative thoughts start haunting you, tell me."

"I have so far, haven't I?"

"What I meant was, _always_ tell me. If you wake up because of a nightmare, don't let me go on sleeping. It will be bad for you." Before she could protest, he added, "And right now, what's bad for you is bad for the baby."

It was such a foreign concept still. The baby. _Their_ baby. A little person who would be some combination of both of them.

Astrid smiled. "Well, I guess that's a pretty convincing argument."

"Of course it is. Now let's focus on the positive aspect of this." His grin was back in place. "We're going to have a _baby_ , Astrid. You and me. We're making a family."

She grinned back and looked pointedly at their rings. "We already _are_ a family, babe. We're just making it bigger now."

* * *

The following morning, as it had been happening lately, Astrid had to get up and run down to find a bucket to puke into. No more than two seconds had passed since she started, than Hiccup suddenly was behind her, holding her hair.

When she was able to breathe again, she spoke. "Hiccup, you don't have to see this."

"I know that. I _want_ to help", he told her, handing her a piece of cloth to wipe her mouth with.

"I'm aware, but this is kinda gross, and not exactly the hardest part of what I'm going through. I won't be offended if-"

"Astrid", he cut her off, "I don't care how gross it gets. I'm going to be there, every step of the way."

She smiled. "Thanks."

He smirked. "Although I think I'll wait until you've washed your mouth before giving you a good morning kiss."

She laughed. "Shut up."

The rest of the morning, he was there all the time, handing her things that were barely out of reach, cleaning things that were _her_ responsibility, and generally preventing her from doing any sort of work. He was coddling her, really.

She supposed his reaction was only to be expected after the way she'd broken down yesterday. Part of her wished she'd been able to keep it together; if she had done so, he wouldn't have seen it, and wouldn't be acting this way. But another part reminded her that she knew, from experience, that keeping her emotions bottled up wasn't healthy. That it had been necessary, and that, even if Hiccup couldn't really do anything about it, he could at least be there, like he'd said. And a very, _very_ small part of her seemed to enjoy being taken care of. Maybe because nobody had ever _pampered_ her in her life.

The only thing she truly regretted was giving Hiccup the impression that her issues were preventing her from being excited about the baby. She was; she really wanted it. She was just terrible at letting it show.

Hiccup eventually had to leave for work, while Astrid stayed home. Harvald had told her that the first trimester of the pregnancy would be the hardest, and considering that this was her first baby, she should take it easy. She wasn't planning to just permanently drop her lessons, of course; she'd have to make some plans for the upcoming months. Maybe she could get some of her more advanced students to teach the others.

Hiccup must've spoken with the blacksmith and told him the situation, because he came to have lunch with her, something that rarely happened.

"You don't need to spend every waking moment with me, you know", she told him over the food. "I'll be fine. I can just... go to Runa's or something if I need anything."

"I know. But I'm not doing it _just_ for you." He glanced down at her belly significantly, and she smiled.

"Fair enough. But it's not like you're going to get to see much at this stage."

"I don't care. When the baby starts to kick, I want to be here."

That was another strange concept. The idea that there was another human being formed inside of her, and would soon start to move.

And it was hers. Hers and Hiccup's. (Well, metaphorically. She planned to let her child live their own life.)

She spoke before she became too lost in her own thoughts.

"I don't know when that will be", she confessed. "I didn't ask."

"That's okay. We'll find out."

They finished eating in companionable silence. Then he spoke again.

"By the way, I'll have to send a letter to my parents, to tell them we won't be visiting for a while."

Astrid was surprised. She knew that taking long flights while pregnant was probably a bad idea for _her_ , but Hiccup could come and go as he pleased. And he usually visited his parents about once a month.

"But... I'm barely more than three months along, Hiccup. And when the baby is born, you won't be able to visit for a while longer."

"I know that. But I can visit my parents any time I want. However, I can only watch my firstborn grow inside the womb once."

Their _firstborn_. She hadn't thought of it in those terms, but it was, of course. It felt strange, like everything else.

But she wouldn't change it for the world.

"Okay. Just... promise me you're doing it for the baby, and not because you're afraid of what may happen to me. I don't want to hold you back."

He smiled and reached out to touch her cheek tenderly. "You could never hold me back, milady. I'd always stay by your side willingly. No holding."

She turned her head and kissed his palm. "I know."

* * *

She was sitting down on her furs, by Cloudjumper's side, when Einar appeared at the mouth of the cave.

"Hey, miss Valka?" No matter how many times she'd told him to just call her by her name, he insisted on 'miss'. She wondered if it was something he'd learned wherever it was he was raised.

"Yes, Einar?"

"The dragons are all fed. I'm off to sleep. Good night."

"Good night."

She smiled briefly as he left. She hadn't realised how much she missed human company until Einar came to live with her.

When Astrid had made her request, she had been unsure, but eventually agreed. She had seen the boy handling dragons, and it was clear that he had the appropriate level of respect and care for them. She just hoped that he would act the same way with people. And she knew that her own customs probably looked strange, used as she was to living with only dragons. So she'd been cautious.

Her concerns had been baseless. Einar had never been anything but perfectly respectful and polite with her. Valka wondered if that was the way he talked to Astrid, and he was simply used to it. Admittedly, he did eventually start to speak in a more informal way, once he was comfortable with her. But he never dropped the 'miss'.

More importantly, the dragons liked and accepted him. He knew the basics of caring for them, and soon learned the rest from her. He adapted easily to living on the island with her. And strangely enough, she found it easy to adapt to his presence, too, despite having lived alone for twenty years. Probably because he tended to leave her to her own devices, not imposing himself, or his needs, on her. He solved things by his own means. Of course, they shared time together, but it wasn't every waking moment. For that, she was glad.

She looked back down at the piece of parchment she had in her hand, and her smile vanished. She read the letter again.

 _Dear Mum,_

 _I'm writing to tell you that Astrid is pregnant! We're both very excited, but also kinda nervous... I guess you know how that feels, huh? Anyway, obviously she can't travel long distances, and I don't want to leave her alone for that long. So I'm sorry, but we won't be visiting for a while. But hey! Next time we go, you'll get to meet your grandchild. Isn't that great? I mean, I never had a grandmother, so I'm sure our child will be happy to have you._

 _See you soon!_

 _Love,_

 _Hiccup_

She should be ecstatic about the news, she knew. Her son was a grown man, starting his own family... and she'd meet her grandchild, something she had given up on when she left Berk over twenty years ago. Yet there was something about the letter that didn't sit quite right with her.

She remembered the lessons she'd had with that woman in Astrid's pay who'd come to teach her the intricacies of manipulating people. One of the lessons had been reading between the lines, and understanding people's intent. And she was sure there was a hidden message here. One that perhaps Hiccup hadn't actually intended to send.

She read it once more, and finally found the line that bothered her: the one about her future grandchild meeting their grandmother. There was something strange there. Why weren't _both_ grandparents mentioned? There was no reason for Hiccup to neglect mentioning Stoick to her.

She thought about the last time they'd visited. They were clearly overjoyed to be married, and happy to share it with her. However, when the time came for them to leave, Astrid had looked at Hiccup with sadness, as though she'd made a difficult decision... That had been bothering her, too. Something was going on.

Valka glanced at the edge of the furs. Sharpshot, Hiccup's Terror, had curled up there, tired after the long journey. The letter addressed to Stoick was still tied to his leg.

It would be a violation of privacy, both for Hiccup and for her (ex?) husband. But she had to know.

Was it really possible that Hiccup and Astrid hadn't told Stoick that they'd got married? Sure, he didn't like her, but this seemed a bit extreme. Their son's life revolved around her now. He couldn't just keep ignoring that.

After a moment's hesitation, she reached for the letter. Sharpshot, startled awake, hissed, but relaxed when he saw her. He seemed confused that she was taking the second letter, but didn't stop her.

Of course he didn't. Hiccup hadn't trained his Terror with a scenario like this in mind. She felt guilt once more... and then she opened the letter.

 _Dear Dad,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing to tell you that there have been some complications here in the village, I'm afraid, and Astrid and I have to help. I won't be able to visit for a couple of months. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it._

 _I'll see you as soon as I can._

 _Love,_

 _Hiccup_

Valka sat back, stunned.

* * *

 **A/N: I just want to let everyone know that this week I'm getting a project at university, and that's going to take up most of my time. So the next two or three chapters will probably take as long as this one did.**

 **Fun fact #1: I actually asked a member of the fandom who is an OBGYN nurse about pregnancy times, because I had no idea. xD**

 **Fun fact #2: There might be as few as four chapters left in this fic, if everything goes according to plan, so... yeah.**


	19. Coming soon

"I hate this", Astrid moaned as she wearily lifted her head from the bucket. "Why are we doing this again?"

Hiccup, who was standing behind her, holding her hair back, chuckled. "Because we both agreed that we wanted it."

"I think I've changed my mind."

"Too late", he replied cheerily as he handed her a mug of water to wash her mouth. She glared at him.

"Keep that up and I'm going to kiss you with my puke-tasting mouth", she mumbled before downing the water and rinsing her tongue.

"Nah, you wouldn't."

If there was one thing he'd learned in these five months of dealing with pregnant Astrid, it was that she was always irritable and snapped at him, but didn't really mean any of it. He'd lost count of how many times she'd lain in bed, alternating between complaining about her body changing and threatening to do him bodily harm in various ways. He found it almost cute now. Fortunately for him, she also spent a lot of time sleeping. It was like her mind was forcing her to relax after years of being unable to do so completely. He was glad for it.

But even if it weren't like that, he wouldn't change a thing. He still remembered the first morning that he noticed the smallest of bumps on Astrid's stomach. She'd been changing, and he'd remained staring at it, transfixed, until she noticed what he was looking at.

He'd known what was happening before that, of course, but that was the first clear, unmistakable sign that there was a life forming inside of Astrid. A life that _he_ had helped create. It was like it was becoming real, then.

He'd kneeled before her, gently caressing the area. Astrid had been entranced, too, running her hands over his. Her eyes had begun to water, and he'd got up and kissed her, excited because this was really happening, and the proof was there.

Now, the bump had grown and was much more noticeable. She'd had to make herself new clothes, because most of her old ones were too tight for her belly. (That had led to the surprising discovery that Astrid was good at sewing; apparently, she'd had to learn when she was with the Outcasts because they had no clothes that would fit her.) She mourned the loss of her beloved spiked skirt, but it simply wouldn't fit her anymore.

Of course, everyone, especially her students, noticed this. They had kept the pregnancy quiet for a while, simply because it was something they didn't want to share with anybody else for the moment. However, when Astrid started to show, it was inevitable. Hiccup always remembered how, the day that she announced the news to her class, Aron had come to visit him in the forge. He'd congratulated him first of all, but then he'd been silent, and Hiccup knew there was something else bothering him.

"Hiccup?" he'd asked at last.

"Yeah?"

"Is Astrid still going to be teaching her class?"

"Until she feels she can't do it anymore, yes."

"Oh. And... should she be doing that? With the pregnancy?"

Hiccup had sighed. "Probably not."

"Then why don't you stop her?"

He'd snorted at that. "Stopping Astrid? Really? You know her. How do _you_ propose I do that, Aron?"

The boy had looked sheepish. "Sorry. I should've realised that."

"It's okay. I appreciate the concern. However, I would advise you not to tell Astrid about this conversation, if you want to keep all your limbs."

"Why do you think I came to _you_? From what I've seen around here, pregnant women can be scary."

"Truer words have never been spoken."

Suddenly, the sound of snapping fingers brought him back to reality. Astrid was looking at him amusedly.

"Are you with me?"

"Sorry", he smiled. "I zoned out. I was thinking about, uh... when Aron came to congratulate me, after he found out you were pregnant."

"He did?"

"Yeah."

"That's nice." She'd already got up, and she was putting together some ingredients for breakfast. "I've heard that the marriage negotiations with Inge's family are going well. I hope it works out."

"Yeah, from what his father told me, it sounds like it's almost a done deal."

"Good for..."

She didn't finish her sentence. He turned to look at her, and she had an astonished expression on her face. Her hands were on her stomach.

"Oh", she said softly.

"Astrid?" he was at her side in an instant. "What is it?"

"It's... I think the baby's kicking."

"Oh. _Oh_."

He wanted to say something else, but found himself unable to, so instead he placed his hands over Astrid's stomach, too, and waited. A few seconds later, he felt it. A light tap against his fingers.

The emotions were overwhelming. This was their first sign that their baby was alive and, well, kicking. That it was there, breathing, soon to come out to the world as a fully formed human. And it was the first time they were able to interact with it, however limited that interaction was. Their child was moving, letting them know it was there, and they could both feel it.

He looked up, and Astrid's face showed the joy that he felt. Her eyes were welling up. She opened her mouth to speak, but just like him a moment ago, couldn't find the words.

"Hiccup…" was all she managed, her voice trembling.

"I know", he answered. "He or she is there."

"I…" She choked on her words. The tears were spilling down her cheeks. "Damn. Why does everything make me want to cry?"

"It's part of the pregnancy", he chuckled softly. "What is it?"

"I… kinda want to talk to it. But I can't help but feel that it's stupid, because our baby can't hear me yet."

"Hey", he smiled. "Future mothers do that all the time. Forget logic. Do what you feel like doing."

"Okay." She looked down. "Hey there", she began, patting her stomach. Then she stopped and stared at him, confused. "Should I do some kind of voice? I've always heard mothers speak to their children in these high-pitched voices…"

Hiccup wanted to laugh at how much she was worrying, but he didn't. He knew that a part of her was still afraid of the whole ordeal, and wanted to get it right. And a part of himself was sad that she was so unsure of herself as a mother that she wanted to imitate other women, down to such an inconsequential detail.

Still, she was allowed to do things her own way.

"Do what you want. If it doesn't come naturally, then why pretend?"

She smiled. "True." Her gaze went back to her belly. "Hey", she said again. "It's your mum." She paused, and Hiccup knew she was assimilating the application of the word to herself. "I hope you're comfortable in there. And I… guess I just wanted you to know that we love you, both of us, and we can't wait for you to be here."

She paused for a second, then giggled. "Gods, that was so sappy."

"But it's true." On a whim, he kneeled before her, lifting her tunic, and kissed her belly. " _Both_ of us love you. And I wanted to say something, too, but your mum took the words from my mouth."

"Now, don't get jealous. You're still his or her dad."

"I know." It was still strange, to think that he'd be a dad soon. He straightened up, carefully putting her tunic back in place.

She smiled at him, then looked at the half-cooked breakfast and sighed. "We need to hurry."

They had their meal in silence, both still digesting what had just happened. Every now and then they'd share wondrous looks, and Hiccup knew they were thinking the same thing.

Astrid accompanied him to the door when he left. She kissed him goodbye, as usual, and he began walking away… until he noticed that Toothless wasn't by his side. He turned around to find the dragon approaching Astrid, sniffing curiously.

"Hey, Toothless", she said as he came near. She petted him, and he cooed. Then he pressed his nose to her belly and sniffed again. He warbled questioningly, clearly confused, and Astrid laughed.

"Yes, that's probably Hiccup's smell." Toothless warbled again. "He put an egg inside of me."

Hiccup snorted at the description, and Astrid smiled at him. "What? It's not like he's going to understand the word 'pregnant'."

"Fair enough. Though I'm not sure how much he understands 'egg', either."

"Doesn't matter. I bet our baby will love him."

"Why?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"Because it's _ours._ " She said it like it didn't need any more explaining, and he smiled.

"Sounds reasonable."

* * *

Astrid sighed as she waited outside Harvald's hut. The healer had his mother from the north visiting, so she was asked to hang on just a minute before coming in. The man had asked her to come see him every month or so, to make sure that the pregnancy went smoothly. She was unsure if it was necessary, but Hiccup had agreed, so she had no choice. It wasn't like she had a lot to do in the house, anyway, now that she wasn't teaching her class anymore. (It had been hard, but she'd been forced to accept that she could no longer keep up with her students. And they sometimes refused to train with her for fear of hurting her, so it was kind of pointless to try.)

Still, walking was becoming a more tiring task now, with the current size of her belly. Just getting here had left her exhausted, and she'd had to sit down. It wasn't just the walking, though. She was tired every day now, and it seemed like any time was a great moment for a nap. She'd sleep all day if it wasn't for Hiccup insisting that she had to keep somewhat active and pushing her to get up. (Ironic, considering he was the one who told her to stop training in the first place. Then again, the kind of activity she did now was much lighter.)

Harvald finally opened the door and she stepped in. His mother was a very old woman, her hair completely gray and her back lightly hunched. When she saw her, her eyes widened for just a second before she managed to control her expression.

Astrid was instantly on edge, but she couldn't let it show, so she waited.

"Astrid, this is my mother, Dotta. She's the one I learned my trade from. Mother, this is Astrid Hofferson."

"Nice to meet you", the blonde greeted politely, and the elder woman nodded.

"Likewise", she said. "How far along are you?" she asked, nodding towards her belly.

"Over six months", she said cautiously.

"My, you're rather close now, aren't you? First baby?"

"Yes."

"Well then, I'd better get to work. If that's all right with you."

"Uhh..." she looked at Harvald, silently asking him if he was okay with someone else taking over, and he nodded. "Sure."

Dotta felt her stomach, asked her about her symptoms, and explained certain things to her son. This, she had to admit, was the kind of healer visit she was used to.

"Harvald, dear, could you leave us alone for a moment? There are some things I need to discuss with this young lady. Woman to woman."

Harvald was confused, but nodded and walked out of the room. Astrid looked at the woman, suspicious.

"Hofferson", she said thoughtfully. "I used to know a Hofferson, back in my day."

Astrid tensed up immediately. "Well, it's a fairly common last name", she said dismissively.

Dotta smiled. "Maybe so, but you look an awful lot like the Hofferson I knew."

There was a glint in the woman's eyes that she didn't quite like. "Really? Strange."

"Yes. His name was Asmund. Asmund Hofferson. Died quite young. You wouldn't happen to have known him, would you?"

"If you want to say something, out with it."

"I know who you are, girl."

It was exactly what she'd feared. When they'd come here, nobody knew what she'd done, having lived far from the north for so many generations. But if this woman hadn't left her home...

Unconsciously, she began scanning the room for weapons, before she realised that this was an old woman who could pose no threat to her, at least physically. Then she felt ashamed; was she really considering attacking a defenceless old lady?

No, she couldn't do that. But she had to do _something_. She'd built a life with Hiccup, and she wasn't about to let anyone ruin it. She'd have to use her manipulation skills to convince her to remain quiet.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the woman cut her off. "I won't tell anyone."

Astrid's words died in her throat. On the surface, that was apparently good news, but... why had she said it, then? Something was up.

"Then what is it?"

"I knew your mother, too."

She froze at the mention of her. Her mother, who she knew so little about. But as far as she was aware, nobody had ever known about the affair between her parents, so how could this woman know who her mother was?

"What was her name?" She meant her question as a test, to see if this old woman really knew as much as she seemed to.

"Tabitha."

So... she did know. However, Astrid didn't remember having seen this woman when she investigated the tavern her mother worked at.

"How?" she asked. "How can you know? What happened between my parents was a secret."

"Oh, it was. But, see, I was there when your mother gave birth to you."

 _That_ was unexpected. She'd questioned the healers that worked on her mother when she gave birth, and Dotta hadn't been among them.

"I was hiding in a corner, watching", she continued. "I couldn't help because of a recent injury."

Well, that explained that. If she wasn't supposed to be there, there was no reason for the other healers to mention her.

"When your mother died, the healers came to me to ask what I thought we should do. We had almost convinced a family to adopt you...And then Hofferson showed up. He had heard in passing that Tabitha had died, and about her child, and somehow guessed it was his. Or maybe he knew it because you looked so much like him. Either way, he came to me and said, 'I will take care of her.'"

"And you agreed?"

"I didn't know who he was then. I thought it was awfully nice of him to recognise his daughter. I gave you to him and didn't think about it anymore. It was only many years later, when you came to the tavern asking about Tabitha, that I understood what had happened, who you and your father were."

"How come I didn't see you?" Astrid asked.

"I was at the back. You didn't see me, but I saw you. Heard the questions you were asking."

"And you were surprised", Astrid concluded, and the woman nodded.

"It was completely out of the blue. I've helped deliver many children into the world, but I doubt any of them ever amassed the reputation you did, or had the father you had. I felt sorry that you'd never had a chance, but you were an independent young woman, so obviously I didn't even try to approach you. I accepted it was your fate, and moved on." She smiled wryly. "So imagine my surprise when you walked in here, very visibly pregnant, to have a check. And from what Harvald tells me, you're leading a mostly peaceful life."

"I am", Astrid said. "I never got to experience it before, and decided to try."

"So what happened to make you decide that?"

"My husband", she admitted. "He made me accept that I could change."

She didn't elaborate, and Dotta seemed to understand that she didn't want to. "I see. Well, I can't speak for your father, but I wanted to tell you that your mother would be proud of you."

"You think?" She'd thought her father might be proud that she'd decided to change the course of her life; that she was the only person who owned her destiny and could do whatever she wanted. But she had no idea about her mother.

"Yes. Even if you were a criminal, in the end, you left that life, and that's what matters, I think. And Tabitha always admired people who acknowledged their mistakes."

Astrid's chest felt like it was being constricted with emotion. She looked down at her hands, already expecting the tears that promptly started to fall.

* * *

Hiccup hurriedly put his apron away. Thankfully, the blacksmith was understanding and had given him shorter shifts while Astrid was pregnant. He practically ran to his home, Toothless trotting beside him... and opened the door to find his wife right there in the kitchen, sitting, gaze lost somewhere. She must've heard him come in, though, because she turned her eyes on him.

He was alarmed to see they were red and puffy.

"Astrid?" he asked, approaching her. "What's wrong?"

She told him everything that had happened during the visit to the healer. By the end of it, she'd started sobbing again. Hiccup had sat down next to her and cradled her against him, running soothing hands over her back. He was surprised at the coincidence of this woman's visit and her knowledge of Astrid's mother, but he didn't mention it; it wasn't important.

"And I... it hit me", Astrid said when she was done telling the tale. "That my past could come back and bite me at any given moment, ruin everything we've built. Just one word from someone... and it'd be over. And then what would happen to us? To the baby?"

"I doubt it's likely to happen. It's why we came so far south, after all."

"I know, but what if it did? I don't want to raise my child on the run, Hiccup. I promised that I'd give him or her a different life from the one that I had." Her voice was starting to grow hysterical. "I _promised_. And I'm only now realising that it's such a fragile promise..."

"Astrid, _stop_ ", he said firmly. He was somewhat tolerant of her getting all worked up over nothing; it was part of the pregnancy. And he understood that there was still some lingering reluctance inside her. But if there was one thing he'd learnt these past months, it was that there came a point when he had to put an end to her negative thoughts. "It won't happen. You know that. No sane Viking would come this far south unless it was completely unavoidable. They wouldn't be able to stand the heat. Nobody knows us, and, according to you, everyone but Harvald has been here for generations, so they won't know of our pasts. Nothing is going to go wrong. Okay?"

"Okay."

She seemed to calm down enough, and the rest of the day, she looked thoughtful, though not miserable.

Until bedtime, that was. They were lying side by side when she spoke.

"Hiccup?" she whispered.

"Yes?"

"I... I almost killed her, though. She was an old, defenceless woman, and I considered hurting her, because she might say something."

"Did you actually make any sort of move?" he asked patiently, placing his hand on her arm.

"Well... no. I just thought about it for a second."

"Then you didn't _almost kill_ her. It was a fleeting thought, nothing else. Those happen. And besides, if you had done it..."

"I would've been a despicable human being", she mumbled. "Well, more than I already am."

"No", he contradicted her. "You would've done what you thought was best for our family. You would've tried to protect the ones you love. You told me once that, if someone I cared about was threatened, I could probably cross lines I never thought I would. Well, that's what happened with you."

"But..."

"No buts. If it applies to me, then it applies to you."

She sighed. "Fine." Her eyes began to water, and she snorted. "Gods, I cry for everything these days."

"Hey, it's perfectly normal. Besides..." He caressed her cheek. "You were out of touch with your own emotions for years. It's time you got reacquainted with them."

She cried herself to sleep that night, while he mumbled reassurances into her hair. He wished he could do more, but he knew that she'd have to get over it by herself. It was exactly what had happened to him, after all.

She simply needed somebody to be there with her through it all. And he was more than willing to be just that.

* * *

Astrid stretched comfortably on the bed. She was now more than seven months pregnant, which meant she was more tired than ever and naps seemed to be an almost irresistible temptation. Bedtime was the best moment in the day.

Admittedly, it was often also a moment for crying. Anything set her tears off these days, unfortunately, and everything affected her deeply. For example, meeting the woman who'd known both her parents. The morning after it happened, she woke up feeling like she was making a fuss over nothing, and was pretty chipper the rest of the day. Then, two days later, it hit her again that she almost struck a defenceless old lady and was back to being depressed.

Mood swings might be normal, but they sure as Hel were annoying. At least she seemed to be getting over that particular event now. Hiccup was right; she was trying to protect what she cared about.

The man in question finally came upstairs to join her. Astrid watched as he took off his tunic. She hummed appreciatively when she saw his back muscles shifting as he put some things in order.

Another symptom of her pregnancy: being horny all the damn time. Since she also happened to be tired a lot, she usually just slept it off. However, it was moments like this that she wished she could be a bit more active. Of course, it wasn't that they hadn't slept together since they found out about the baby. But Hiccup was too worried about hurting her or their child, and being overly cautious was not conducive to passion. That, combined with her state of perpetual exhaustion, meant that sex like they had before didn't happen often.

Right now, she'd love to do something about the fact that her husband was practically flashing her, even if unintentionally. But she didn't feel like moving at all. And the size of her belly didn't help matters.

She hadn't made a noise, but her pupils had to be completely dilated, because when Hiccup turned around, he stared at her, eyebrows raised. Then he smirked.

"See something you like?" he teased.

"Yes", she huffed. "And I'd love to get my hands on it, but..."

"Too tired?" he asked. She nodded. "Well", he said, stepping closer to her, "let me be of service then."

"What..." Before she could ask, he kneeled before the end of the bed and lifted her nightgown. In one swift movement, he pulled her underwear down to her feet.

She squirmed, and his hands restrained her.

"Shh", he said. "Just let me do this for you."

She bit her lip, and nodded. His breath was gently blowing over her centre, and she could feel herself growing wet with arousal already.

Then his mouth was on her, and there was no more room in her head for coherent thoughts. He licked along her slit and she gasped.

He hummed, and she felt the vibrations in her core, making her whimper. He chuckled lowly and then found her sweet spot, applying his lips to it and sucking. She bucked her hips at the intense sensation.

He continued alternating between slow, long licks, circling his tongue and sucking. The pleasure began to build inside her, but she knew from experience that it wouldn't be enough.

And so did he. Soon, his hand joined his mouth. She was dripping, and his long fingers slid in effortlessly, quickly thrusting in and out. She moaned at the double assault on her senses.

Now, the edge began to creep closer. Gasps and pleas for Hiccup not to stop came out of her mouth as she continued to climb, until finally she got lost in the waves of pleasure. Hiccup didn't stop, continuing to move his fingers and tongue over her, letting her ride out her orgasm. Only when she had calmed down did he finally stand back up.

When she had the presence of mind to speak again, she saw his noticeable erection.

"Do you want... help?" she asked, barely containing a yawn. He noticed, though, and smiled.

"It's fine, I can take care of it myself. Sleep, milady."

She half-mumbled a good night as her eyes closed.

* * *

Valka sighed as Cloudjumper flapped his wings powerfully. She still wasn't sure of the decision she'd made. Once she got to her destination, there would be no turning back. Her life as it had been for over twenty years would change forever, she knew.

But she owed it to Hiccup to try. She'd broken apart his family once; if she could put it back together now, then it might even things up. Although she was aware that Hiccup didn't begrudge her for what she'd done, she wanted to stop feeling a slight squeeze of guilt whenever she thought about him.

Truth be told, she didn't know if what she was going to try would help, either. Maybe it wouldn't, and then everyone would be hurt by her attempt. However, she'd thought about it long and hard, and couldn't come up with any other idea. She was relying on the shock factor, which might make him listen to her.

Or so she hoped, she thought, as the island she had left with this very same dragon came into view in the horizon.

Berk.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you guys don't hate me for ending it on that note... especially considering that the next update might take as long as this one. (I really hope not, though.) But anyway, sorry for the wait!**

 **Also: please don't expect a sweet reunion. It won't happen like that. Be warned.**


	20. Now I'm here

Stoick was absently having breakfast, gaze lost somewhere on the wall, when the Terror entered through a window. For a moment he thought that was strange, since Hiccup's last letter had arrived only two weeks ago, but then he realised that this wasn't Sharpshot.

The thought of his son brought such nostalgia that he had to try and stop it, before he got carried away. Yes, he missed Hiccup terribly, especially now that he wouldn't be showing up for a while, but it had been over a year now. One would think that he'd had plenty of time to get used to the loneliness.

He had not. And really, considering how he never stopped mourning Valka, he should've known better.

He snapped himself out of those thoughts and took a closer look: this Terror was a purplish colour that he didn't remember seeing around the village. However, nobody else used Terror mail, so it had to be from one of his people. Maybe it was a newborn or something.

But how could anyone train a newborn dragon to bring mail? It didn't make any sense.

Suspicion began to creep into his mind, but before he could ponder it further, the dragon approached him and stood there obediently, waiting for the letter it carried to be removed. Stoick reached for it carefully, in case it tried to bite him or something, but it did nothing of the sort. Once the parchment was untied, the dragon immediately left the way it had come.

Realising there was only one way to solve this mystery, Stoick opened the parchment.

 _Stoick,_

 _Meet me at Hiccup's special place. I have something very important to tell you regarding him. I realise that you don't know who I am and have no reason to trust me, but I would greatly appreciate it if you could come alone._

There was no signature, no initials, nothing. The chief considered it. 'Hiccup's special place' probably referred to the cove by Raven's Point, as he could think of no other place that his son would consider special. There, he had met Toothless and trained him in secret. But that was something that precious few people knew; himself, and some of Hiccup's closest friends. So how did this anonymous messenger know it?

They had to know Hiccup, and in a friendly manner, too: his son would never reveal such information to an enemy. Then again, Hiccup _did_ trust some questionable people...

Such as Astrid Hofferson.

That gave him pause. Could it be Hofferson? No, she wouldn't have hesitated to sign. She wouldn't be afraid of showing herself to him. Somebody she knew? But he doubted she would go around saying intimate details about Hiccup's life. She had more to gain by keeping that information close. And of Hiccup's old enemies, none were around: Dagur was still in prison and he'd heard from Johann that Viggo was found dead in a brothel. So it couldn't be either of them. Maybe this person, whoever they were, wasn't dangerous.

There was only one way to find out, he decided. Just in case, he would bring Skullcrusher with him. The letter didn't mention dragons, after all.

* * *

When he arrived at Raven's Point, Skullcrusher walking beside him, there was nobody there. He considered leaving, but then thought better of it. Maybe this person was just waiting to see if he truly was alone. So he sat down and waited, while his dragon went to catch some fish in the lake.

A few minutes later, rustling in the trees leading to the cove caught his attention. Skullcrusher came back to him and cocked his head curiously. His attitude reassured Stoick; if there had been any danger, his dragon would've sensed it.

Suddenly, a large, four-winged dragon glided down to the cove, its owl-like eyes staring at them. The chief stared back, transfixed; the dragon looked terribly familiar, although he couldn't say where he'd seen it before.

Then he saw that, from its back, a rider climbed down, aiding themselves with a hooked staff. The person wore big armour and a strange, spiked blue mask, making it impossible to tell if it was a man or a woman.

The rider slowly walked forward. One, two, three steps... then they stopped.

"Stoick?" a voice came from the mask, muffled. He didn't recognise it.

"Yes, and you are?"

The masked figure stayed silent for a second. "Never mind that for now", they said. When Stoick started to protest, they continued. "I will tell you, in due time. But first, I have some... ah, news for you, concerning your son."

He suddenly remembered the content of the message again. Worry immediately filled him. Hiccup was too far away, and with that treacherous Hofferson... he had seemed happy enough, but if he wasn't, Stoick's help would probably be too late.

"What is it? What did that woman do to him?"

The rider actually scoffed. "By 'that woman', do you mean Astrid?"

"Of course I..." He stopped. This person had called Hofferson 'Astrid'. They knew her on a personal basis. Not only that, but they knew that she was with Hiccup. So his theory had been correct after all, it seemed. But why would Hofferson send a messenger, instead of coming herself?

There were two options. The first one was that, whatever was going on, Hofferson didn't want Hiccup to find out that she'd contacted him, so she'd sent someone else. The second one was that this person used to work for her, and maybe was a detractor.

"How do you know her?" he asked. "And how do you know she's with my son?" It was only after the question was out of his mouth that he realised the rider had never said those exact words. If they didn't know, he'd just given them information on his son's whereabouts.

The masked figure shrugged. "She helped me take care of dragons for a while", they said. "As for how I know that... well, I'll reveal that later. What matters is that I know Hiccup, and that's how I know Astrid is with him."

Stoick was growing more and more intrigued with this person, who apparently knew his son well, and also Hofferson. Besides, the rider seemingly worked with more dragons, which was rather peculiar.

Still, he forced himself to ignore all that and focus on the apparent news this person had. Hiccup was more important than their identity.

"So, what is it?"

"Well, I have two things to tell you."

When they didn't continue immediately, he prompted, "Well?"

"The first one..." They trailed off. "The first one is... that Hiccup's married. To Astrid."

The words felt like a punch to Stoick's gut.

He knew that Hiccup felt fond of Hofferson, for whatever reason. And he supposed he should've suspected, when he left with her, that they'd get closer. But... married? His son? To a woman like her?

What could've possibly driven him to tie himself forever to her? What kind of trickery had she pulled on him?

"And that's not all", the person continued. Stoick looked at them miserably.

"There's _more_? What else could there be?"

"She's pregnant, has been for months. In fact, I believe she's close to delivering now."

 _That_ made the previous piece of news seem cake, compared to this one. _Pregnant_? He didn't even want to think about Hiccup and that girl doing... but it was inevitable, of course. She was attractive, and knew how to seduce men. And his son, smart as he was, was terribly naïve in that sense. Of course something like that would happen.

It didn't make hearing the news any easier. His first grandchild would have a mother like Hofferson. Worse, since she was married to his son, according to all their laws and in the eyes of the gods, she was a part of his family now, whether he liked it or not.

For the hundredth time, he wished she had died somewhere before coming to Berk.

"Oh, for the love of Thor, Stoick", the rider spoke again, and their voice sounded exasperated. "You're acting like you were just told the worst news in the world. As though you'd learned you have a terminal illness or something."

"I might as well have", he muttered. "That girl is an illness for the Haddock bloodline."

The masked figure actually scoffed. "Unbelievable", they said. "I see now why Hiccup didn't tell you. Wanted to save you the disappointment – and his own disappointment at seeing you react like this, probably."

At the way they spoke, Stoick was able to forget his grief for just a moment. "How can you possibly know all of this?" he demanded. "How can you know my son so well?"

"Letters", they replied. "The same as you. When Sharpshot brings you something, he's just come from my island. That's how I found out that Hiccup hadn't told you anything."

He felt a surge of anger. "You went through my correspondence?"

"I had begun to suspect, and I wanted to confirm my theory. Maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but I had to know."

"And _why_ do you care so much anyway?" That was the fundamental question.

The rider sighed. "Well..." Then they took their mask off, revealing their face. _Her_ face.

A face he hadn't seen in over twenty years, but that he'd recognise anywhere. A face he never thought he'd get to see again.

"Valka", he whispered.

* * *

She'd run over this conversation in her mind a thousand times. The words she would use; the way she'd say them; Hel, even the order. At first, she had thought of revealing herself first, and then telling Stoick the truth. But then she'd thought that, if she did that, he would be too shocked and wouldn't listen to her other news.

And she needed him to listen. It was why she was she was doing this, after all. Whether he hated her or not, whatever his reaction to her still being alive was, was hardly relevant. She thought their relationship to be long past the point of salvation. She was doing this for her son, not for herself.

She'd agonised over this, yet she still didn't know what to do when she revealed herself to Stoick.

His reaction to Hiccup's marriage and future parenthood had been exactly as Hiccup had feared, and she was glad she'd taken it upon herself to make that revelation to Stoick. It would hurt her son's feelings, to see his father showing such open and strong contempt for the woman he loved. She really didn't understand what Astrid could have possibly done to warrant such feelings. Her (ex?) husband's animosity towards her seemed almost personal... except, as far as Valka knew, Stoick didn't even know her before she came to Berk, so that wasn't possible. Maybe it was like Hiccup had said: he thought she had corrupted his son, and hated her for that.

While obviously Astrid had had some influence on Hiccup, it was clear to Valka, from the way Hiccup spoke, that the bad decisions he'd made had been entirely his own. And so, Stoick's position seemed unreasonable to her. If he wanted to dislike his future daughter-in-law, he had every right, she supposed; it happened. But despising her to the point that his own son didn't tell him he'd be a grandfather, because he was afraid of his reaction? That was too much.

And she had to make him see that, somehow.

When Stoick saw her face, he was as shocked as Valka expected. Many emotions passed his face: confusion, awe, pain, yet there was no hint of anger, which surprised her. She'd expected him to shout at her for leaving him. For leaving t _hem_.

He began stepping towards her, and she started getting nervous. She didn't know what his intentions were, and that made her wary. Next to her, Cloudjumper shuffled his wings, sensing her agitation. Skullcrusher growled in response, but Stoick held out a hand to calm him down.

"It's all right", he said, and Valka wasn't sure who he was talking to. "I'm not going to do anything."

His voice was tender, she realised. He wasn't angry. He'd missed her.

That feeling of guilt that she'd come to associate with Hiccup hit her then, and it was exactly the same as when she'd laid eyes on her son for the first time in twenty years. Knowing that she'd left them, that she'd _chosen_ to stay away each day, was painful when she could see the result of that.

If anything, this time it was worse, because Hiccup didn't even remember her. He hadn't really missed her. Stoick, on the other hand, had grieved her every moment; that was becoming clear to her.

It was also clear that he'd accept her back without question. He was lonely, it was obvious, and needed someone. But Valka wasn't ready to come back. And she didn't want to disappoint him with a negative answer the moment he asked her to stay. She couldn't let him get to that question. So she squared her shoulders and pushed her guilt back down. She would have to deal with it later; right now, she had to be strong and remember why she was here. And that was Hiccup.

"Stop", she said firmly. He did so instantly, his expression confused. "This isn't about us", she continued. "This is about our son."

"Val..." he pleaded. "You've been away for _twenty years_. How can you say that?"

"I know, and we'll talk about that later. But right now, I need you to focus on Hiccup. Can you do that for me?"

"But..."

"Stoick."

"I have missed you so much, Val. How can you be so cold? Have you not missed me? Do you not care for me anymore?"

This was getting out of hand. She needed to get her husband to _listen_.

"I have, but... Stoick. Please. Later. Hiccup. Our son. Can we talk about him?"

He sighed. "I suppose." His expression turned morose. "What about him? There's nothing we can do, Val. If he's married like you say, we..."

"There _is_ something you can do, Stoick. You can _accept_ it."

"Why should I? Hofferson is a liar, a criminal-"

"And she left that life behind", Valka cut him off firmly. "When I last saw her, her face was completely different from all the times I'd seen her before. She seemed genuinely happy. And she really loves Hiccup."

"Someone like her can't feel love."

She resisted the urge to scream. No wonder Hiccup had given up on trying to convince him. But she would do this.

"Stoick, listen to yourself. You refuse to accept that some things may not be as black and white as you think they are. How many years did you fight dragons, believing them to be nothing more than murderous, evil beasts?"

Her husband had the decency to look ashamed. "Too many", he admitted in a low voice.

"Yet you were wrong about them, weren't you? Is it so hard to believe that this may be the same?"

"There is no comparison", he insisted. "The dragons were being controlled. Hofferson doesn't have that excuse."

"She doesn't", Valka agreed, "and she doesn't deny what she did. But think about it, Stoick. _You_ changed when you were shown the truth. Why wouldn't it be the case with her, too?"

Stoick scoffed. "Do you really think Hiccup was able to show her just how... how wrong _everything_ she did was?"

"He didn't, because she already knew. What he showed her, and she didn't believe it any more than you at first, was that she wasn't beyond redemption, if that was what she wanted. That the only one who could change her was herself. And eventually, she understood that."

Her husband remained silent, but she could see he was unconvinced. She decided to try a different approach.

"Look, Stoick, you're going to be a _grandfather_ , and Hiccup didn't tell you because he was afraid of what you might say. What kind of relationship is that? Why would a son not trust his own father?"

"Because... Hofferson told him so." This time, he didn't sound so sure of himself.

"That's not true and you know it. Because you showed him that, where the woman he loves is concerned, he can't trust you. Yes, Stoick", she continued; he'd made a face at the word 'loves'. "He's very much in love with her. And I think it's time you stopped begrudging him –and her- for that and accept it."

"You want me to just... give up?"

"You can only give up in a fight that's your own", she said sternly. "And this is not the case. This is Hiccup's decision, and his alone. And with your stubbornness, you're only tearing your own family apart."

Stoick looked irate at that, but before he could speak, she continued. "Yes, I know I have no right to criticise anyone for that, seeing as I did it first. But that's exactly the point. I have seen the consequences of my actions. So I beg you not to make the same mistake as I did. Don't stay away from your family. Let Astrid in."

"That girl is no family of mine", he hissed.

"Except that she is, because Hiccup chose her. And do you know how I know all this?"

"Because Hiccup told you?" He seemed surprised, and maybe a bit betrayed.

"Exactly. Because he feels like he can speak to me without being judged. He doesn't feel that way with you. He's your only son, and you're pushing him away."

He looked agitated at that. "I'm not-"

"Yes, you are. Look at the giant secret he's keeping from you. How long do you think he plans to stay quiet about the child? Until they are born? Until they are ten? Or is he so afraid of you that he'll just tell the kid that they have no grandfather?"

Stoick seemed appalled. Well, _finally_. Maybe she was getting through to him. "He... he wouldn't..."

"It's what he's doing right now."

She stayed quiet for a while, letting him process what she'd said. He was as stubborn as they came, and accepting that he was in the wrong would take some time.

"How could this happen?" he said in a small voice.

"You know how", she simply said. She'd just told him, after all. No need to twist the knife.

"My own son", he said. "My Hiccup. Afraid of me to the point of keeping my grandchild from me?"

"Only you can change that. There's one way to do it."

"But... how can I ever accept a former criminal into my family? Families are supposed to be bonded by love. I don't think I could ever even like her."

"Give it time", she said softly. "But even so, you don't have to like her right away. She'll just have to grow on you. In the meantime, you simply have to tolerate her. Speak to her civilly, without accusing her of being evil all the time. Treat her with politeness, like you would an acquaintance. Just enough that Hiccup can bring her here without feeling uncomfortable."

"So... you're saying I should pretend? Hofferson is smart. She'll see right through it."

"Of course she will", she agreed. "But she will also see you making an effort, and appreciate it."

Stoick sighed. "You're asking for a lot, Val."

"I know", she said. "But, if you want to keep your family close, it's the only way." She turned to Cloudjumper and began to climb on him. "I've given you much to consider, I know. I'll let you think for now."

She couldn't see Stoick's face, but she could hear his desperate tone. "But Val-"

"I'll be back tomorrow", she assured him. "Same time, same place. And we can... talk about everything else."

She patted Cloudjumper and he began to rise. And while he did, she was glad she couldn't see her husband's face.

She thought about their next conversation. If this one had seemed hard, she was sure it would seem nothing compared to what awaited her tomorrow.

* * *

Astrid woke up in the middle of the night, feeling the urgent need to go to the outhouse. Carefully, she manoeuvred to get out of the bed without waking Hiccup up. It was harder than ever, considering the size of her belly.

She wobbled down the stairs and, wrapping herself in a cloak, went outside. They had a chamber pot in their house, but squatting down was too much of a struggle these days and she'd rather make the short trip. Besides, walking was good for her legs, even if it was only a small distance.

When she came back, just as she walked past the stable for Stormfly and Toothless, she heard her dragon getting up. Her head poked out of the door.

"What is it, girl?" Astrid asked, sleepily. The Nadder stepped closer and poked her snout against her swollen belly. "Yes, there's a baby in there. We've covered this. Good night."

She tried to walk away, but Stormfly got in her way, squawking.

" _Stormfly!_ " she hissed. "Be quiet! People are sleeping, and I want to be among them. Come on. Let me through."

The dragon didn't budge at all. Just stood there, staring at her.

"Are you going to force me to sleep with you guys? Hiccup won't be..."

She trailed off as she noticed something. A liquid was trailing down her legs. For a fraction of a second, years of experience made her think it was her moon's blood, before remembering she wasn't getting that anymore. Not since...

 _Oh_.

The baby was coming.

* * *

 **A/N: So... how was that reunion? Not as sweet as in the movie, that's for sure xD.**

 **Also, good news for you guys: since this took waay longer than I'd expected, _now_ there are three chapters left. So there's one more chapter than I'd planned. (I was going to put the birth this chapter, but obviously that's not the case anymore, lol.)**


	21. A kind of magic

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, but the school project I had kind of took priority over this. Plus, my own feelings on this topic mean that I'm kind of indifferent to it, and I tried hard not to let it show in my writing.**

* * *

For a moment, she didn't know what to do. For a brief instant, her mind was blank, nothing but shock filling it. Panic threatened to overtake her, but then her brain kicked back into gear and she forced herself to remain calm. Fortunately, one of the few good things that her previous life had left her was the ability to keep a level head, no matter what.

 _Think, Astrid_ , she told herself. _What do you have to do right now?_

She needed the healer, that much was obvious. But first, she had to get Hiccup. She could try to shout for him... but it was the middle of the night, and if she'd just chastised Stormfly for being noisy, she couldn't start yelling at the top of her lungs now.

She thought that she should just go get him herself... and then, like a bolt of lightning coursing through her, the first contraction occurred. Breathless, she waited for it to pass, willing the pain to go away... but just as the aftershock faded, another contraction hit, and it was clear to her that moving any more than necessary was a big no right now.

Her Nadder noticed her rider's distress and pressed herself against her. Astrid grasped her horn, grateful to relieve some of her weight off her legs.

Someone else had to go alert Hiccup.

"All right, girl", she whispered. "Go get Hiccup. Can you do that for me?"

Stormfly cooed and padded towards the door. Astrid let herself be carried until she could lean against the hut's wall. The dragon went inside the house just as Toothless came out of the stables. She didn't know if he'd woken up because of the noise or if he'd somehow sensed what was going on, just like Stormfly. Whatever it was, he immediately came up to her, warbling worriedly. He sniffed her stomach, and she held on to him.

Hiccup was down in no time. Despite the situation, despite her pain, Astrid smiled at the sight of her husband, dressed in nightclothes, hair sticking in odd directions and generally looking like he'd been roused from a deep sleep.

His expression, of course, contrasted with that image. It was filled with anxiety.

"Astrid! Are you all right? What happened?"

"It's..." she trailed off and hissed as another contraction hit. "It's time", she said.

He was confused for a second, before he understood. Happiness was visible on his face briefly, before going right back to being anxious. This time, though, he was also clearly determined.

"Let's get Harvald", he said. "Can you walk?"

"I..." She tried to take another step, but the feeling of having a hand constricting her organs was very real. "I'll take Toothless, if you don't mind." The Night Fury was shorter and would be much easier to get on than her own Nadder.

"Of course. Lay flat, bud." Toothless did so, and Hiccup helped her get on him. Stormfly stood next to them, worriedly watching them, clearly wondering why her rider wasn't going with her.

"I'll be fine, girl", she smiled. Hiccup patted the Nadder's flank as well.

"She will", he said. "Let's go"

And they were off.

* * *

"If you keep pacing like that", Eydis said, "you're going to rub off the floor completely."

"I just... it's been _hours_."

"And that's perfectly normal, like I keep telling you. We've had no word of any complications, which means everything is _fine_. Now sit."

"But-"

"Hiccup. _Sit_."

He sighed. "Fine", he relented, joining the other man on the log that they'd haphazardly placed next to the healer's house, so that Hiccup could wait. A bit pointless, since he couldn't sit for long.

He didn't know how long he'd been panicking now. Probably since the moment he was woken up by Stormfly's screeching. That had made him jump out of bed, heart pounding both from the rude awakening and from the fact that her presence meant that something was up with Astrid. When his wife told him it was time, he had two reactions. Part of him was elated... and part of him wanted to break down into hysterics, but he didn't. Probably because Astrid herself was pretty calm, especially for someone who was about to give birth for the first time, and he didn't want to ruin that.

So he'd sucked it up and mustered the strength to overcome some of his nervousness, at least while she was present. He'd brought her to Harvald, who had looked annoyed at being woken up before dawn but understood when he saw Astrid. He'd taken her in and sent Hiccup to get some of the elder women who assisted him in these situations.

Once he did that, at first, he'd stayed there in the room, not wanting to leave Astrid's side. She didn't say much, only crushing his hand when he grasped hers, gasping and occasionally cursing out loud. For the most part, though, she bore it silently, something that he guessed was a remnant of her previous life. It was too deeply ingrained in her, and she hadn't worked to suppress this instinct like she had others. Probably because she didn't think it was that important.

Soon, though, it became clear to Hiccup that he was a nuisance. The other women had to step around him to do their work, since the available space was little, and keeping a calm facade was hard when Astrid was obviously going through so much pain. Eventually, it was her who told him to go.

"But-"

"Go", she said firmly. "Before you get kicked out. I can see this is hard on you, and there's not enough room for you anyway."

"I want to be by your side."

"I know, babe", she gasped, presumably at another contraction, "and you will be. Even if you're on the other side of the door, you're still here. But, to be honest, I think that soon enough, I won't be able to focus on much. I don't want to break your fingers."

He hesitated, looking at her face. Her eyes were soft, loving, despite the evident pain in them. She was doing this for his own benefit. Thinking of him, even now.

But also, what she said made sense. If he had a breakdown while she was in labour, it would just complicate things for everyone.

"I love you", he told her, and leaned down to kiss her briefly.

"I love you too", she answered, smiling.

"I'll be right outside if you need me. Call."

"I will", she'd told him as he walked out.

By then, the sun had come out, and news of Astrid's delivery was spreading around the village. It wasn't long before Aron and his father, Eydis, showed up to keep him company. (Runa was among the women taking care of Astrid.)

Aron had to leave eventually, since he was in charge of Astrid's class, but Eydis sat there. He told Hiccup about the birth of his second son, which had gone through without a hitch... but the rider remembered all too well that, according to the man, Runa's first delivery had been the exact opposite. From what Eydis had said in the past, she'd been toeing the line between life and death. Though no bad news had been received, Hiccup couldn't help but worry.

Astrid had led a difficult life in the past. What if that had left some kind of mark on her body that somehow affected the birth? What if her hips were too small for the baby to pass?

So many 'what if's, none of them good. Somewhere deep inside, he knew his paranoia was ridiculous, but he couldn't stop the train of thought, despite Eydis' reassurances. It also didn't help that nothing could be heard from inside the house; Harvald's hut had been built with thick walls and doors to prevent the cries of injured people from disturbing others.

Toothless, who was there with him, crooned worriedly, and occasionally glanced at the door, probably wondering what was going on with Astrid. (Stormfly had to be sedated with dragon nip and sent to sleep, since she kept trying to barge into the healer's house, concerned about her rider's state.) Every now and then, he'd bump into Hiccup and try to cheer him up, but to no avail.

He didn't know how long he'd been waiting by now. Eydis eventually had to leave, and other people from the village, including the master blacksmith, came by, wishing his wife and child the best.

The sun was already high in the sky when the door was opened, finally. Before Harvald even stepped out, he could hear a sound that was so relieving, he wanted to drop to his knees.

The wailing of a newborn child.

* * *

The hours seemed to blend together without distinction. It was ironic, really; she didn't notice time speeding by, making each hour seem a minute, and yet each of those minutes, each second felt like an eternity. An excruciating moment that stretched on and on, with no end in sight.

The contractions in the beginning had been just a warning of what was about to come. She had wanted Hiccup to be there, with her, and at first he'd been; but then she saw just how much it hurt him to see her suffer like this. So, with a heavy heart, she'd told him to leave.

Now, she was glad she had, because it had got worse, and she didn't think she could bear to see him see her in this state. He'd blame himself for it, somehow, even though childbirth was painful and everyone knew that. As if there was anything he could've done to stop it.

After some time, she wouldn't know how long, Harvald told her to push, and Astrid could feel it; the baby moving inside her, sliding towards her opening. She pushed, and pushed, even though it caused her even more pain. The healers encouraged her, telling her to hang on, that they could see the baby's head.

And finally, she could hear her baby crying, and then the endless stretching inside of her seemed to stop.

And she knew she'd done it.

She tried to sit up, to see for herself, since her still huge belly blocked her view, but found she didn't have the strength. Harvald noticed her struggle.

"We're just cutting the cord, Astrid", he assured her. "Then we'll wash him a bit."

"Him?" she asked.

"Him", he confirmed, smiling. "Congratulations. You have a son."

* * *

Hiccup walked in carefully, slowly (not sure why, since it wouldn't make a difference). The women were gathered in a corner, doing something, but he barely noticed them. His attention was all on Astrid, who was sitting up on some pillows. Dark bags of exhaustion marked her eyes, but her expression was one of profound joy as she cooed at the little bundle in her arms, shushing it. From here, all he could see were blankets.

She noticed him, and looked at him, smiling. He could only stare back, dumbfounded.

That was their child. He was a father.

Even thought he'd technically had months to get used to the concept, he hadn't, really.

Astrid laughed. "Well, are you just going to stand there?" She raised her arms carefully, lifting the baby a bit. The baby. _Their_ baby. "He wants to meet his dad."

His mind was trying to process the application of the word "dad" to himself. It took a moment for him to realise that the sentence contained a revelation. "He?"

"Yup. Now stop gawking and get over here."

He chuckled and covered the short distance to the bed, leaning over so he could take his first good look at his son.

He was small, but not too much. Not in a worrisome way; he was born in due time, after all. As with all newborns, his features weren't fully defined yet, and since his eyes were closed, he couldn't even see their colour. And yet he was somehow one of the most beautiful sights he'd ever seen, excluding perhaps his wife. He felt his chest widening, as a new kind of love grew inside him, and he knew right then, he'd do anything to protect this little life that he'd helped create.

His son.

He didn't even notice the tears until they started spilling down his cheeks. Wiping them, he smiled and looked up at Astrid. Her expression mirrored the wonder that he was feeling.

"I love you", he told her, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. Then he turned to his son. "And I love you, too", he added. He started to bend, before realising that if he kissed him too, he might disturb the boy. So he settled for caressing his cheek instead. The skin was soft, flawless.

The baby mumbled something (and Hiccup could swear he'd never heard anything so sweet) and moved a bit, but otherwise continued sleeping.

"He's amazing, isn't he?" Astrid asked.

"That he is", he agreed.

It was quiet for some time. No words were needed, after all. Their expressions showed each other the depth of their happiness as they looked at their child. Eventually, Astrid spoke again.

"I've been thinking about names", she said.

"Oh? What did you come up with?"

"Well... my father taught me that names should be meaningful. Either because they're representative, or because they're chosen to honour someone else." She smiled up at him. "And since our baby isn't old enough for us to be sure about the first one, I thought about the second one. So... what about Birger?"

He considered it. It would be a bit strange at first. Bittersweet, even. But Astrid was right: it would be a way to honour their childhood friend, a person that had sort of been the first link between the two of them. A way to have his memory continue, with their son. To have him symbolically grow old and live the life he should've led.

"I like it", he agreed. "What about a middle name?"

"Well, I didn't think that far."

One of the elder women, who was apparently listening in on their conversation, chimed in. "We rarely use middle names here", she told them. "One first name will do."

They both looked at each other, amused at the situation, and then down at their baby.

At Birger.

"Very well", he said.

"In that case", Harvald interjected, "we'll have to get the chief so we can write down the birth of one Birger Haddock."

* * *

Astrid sat on the bed, her son in her arms as he fed heartily from her breast. Some part of her was wondering if this was all a dream. Despite the months that she'd spent with this baby clearly inside of her, it still felt surreal. Yet there he was, little Birger, all cleaned up and at home, partaking of her milk.

She'd always heard from other women that every mother thought their newborn to be absolutely perfect. She had often wondered just how true it was, and now she had her answer: very. To her, there was nothing more beautiful than her son, whether he was sucking on her breast or dozing off. His face, his little hands and feet: everything about him was, in Astrid's eyes, flawless.

And there was something else, too. She'd loved him since the beginning, from the moment she found out he was growing inside of her. But now, it was even more profound. Before, she didn't have a specific person to give her love to. Although she'd thought it made no difference, now she could see it wasn't the case. Being able to put a face on all that affection made it feel much more real. Like she'd cared for a more abstract concept before, but now she had an actual person.

A tiny person who was only now starting to get full, apparently. According to Harvald, it was good that he fed so vigorously; it'd be worrying if he didn't eat enough.

Birger let go of her breast and then moved around in her arms, finding a comfortable position. Once he did, he looked up at her. It wasn't a deep stare, merely curious, but Astrid felt it down in her soul. The connection between a mother and her son.

How strange it was to even think about, her son. And yet, how wonderful.

The sound of Hiccup's footsteps coming up the stairs interrupted her thoughts. Since they'd got back home, they'd been visited by a string of neighbours who wanted to give them their blessings and meet Birger. It was nice at first, but the baby was soon overwhelmed and started crying, at which point Astrid brought him upstairs to their room. Hiccup had been talking to the other villagers for quite a while now, and she'd been wishing he would come, so they could have this moment as a family.

"Have they all left?" she called as he entered the room.

"For now", he said. His eyes instantly brightened at the sight of his son. "But honestly, if they come knocking again, I won't answer." He walked towards them. "I have more important things to do."

"Yeah, you do", she smiled as he sat down next to her.

"Can I...?" He made a vague gesture, and she understood.

"Of course. He's your son too, you know", she told him as she passed Birger carefully to Hiccup's arms. The little one cooed and made himself comfortable against Hiccup's chest. The look on her husband's face melted her heart.

"I know", he said eventually, distracted by Birger, "but, well... you know how it is."

She raised an eyebrow, surprised at the comment. "No, I don't know. How _is_ it?"

He shrugged. "Usually, the mother is the one who loves their child the most, and doesn't let the father be as much a part of the child's life as herself."

She rolled her eyes. "That only works for overprotective mothers and uncaring fathers, Hiccup. I won't be like that. And I know for sure that _you_ aren't like that, either."

He smiled sheepishly and brushed Birger's cheek. "I know, I know", he said. "It's just... it's how I've often seen that things are. At least for Vikings."

"Maybe." She grinned. "But when have we ever cared for traditions?"

"Touché", he agreed.

They sat in silence for a while, and eventually Hiccup spoke again.

"Astrid?"

"Yeah?"

"How are you feeling?"

She knew it was a question with more than one meaning. He was asking not just after her physical state, but her mental one, too. She decided to answer the most important one.

"For now, I'm fine. The... _novelty_ of the situation hasn't worn off yet. I still can't believe that we have a son." She smiled briefly down at Birger, then looked back up at her husband's worried eyes. "But I don't know how long that will last", she admitted. "My doubts may creep back up at any moment." The joy of seeing her newborn son kept them at bay, but it wasn't a permanent situation, she was sure of it.

"Will you tell me if they do?"

"Of course. Don't I always?"

"Yeah, but it's different now. Again."

"And I haven't lost sight of what keeps me going. Only difference is that now I have _two_ people to keep me going."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "And two people who will love you no matter what."


	22. Crazy little thing called love

**A/N: Time to thank someone who only joined the boat during this story, but who has reviewed every chapter since, and that is majothemexican! Also thanks to CajunBear73, for their long and detailed reviews.**

* * *

"Have you got his cloak?" Astrid asked Hiccup.

"Yup, right here." He held up a small bundle of furs. "Asked Runa to make an extra one, just in case."

"Good thinking." She smiled down at Birger, who was currently sitting on the floor, playing with the toy dragon that Hiccup had made him. "He's a summer child. He's never experienced the archipelago's winter before."

"Well, he's a Viking by ancestry. He'd better get used to it", Hiccup joked, and Astrid laughed.

"True. Anyway, I think that's everything. Let's go."

They went to the stables and Astrid climbed on Stormfly. Then Hiccup passed her Birger, and she adjusted him on the special saddle seat that Hiccup had prepared for this flight. Once she was sure he was secure, she nodded to Hiccup, who proceeded to get on Toothless. Her son, meanwhile, was cooing excitedly when he saw what was happening.

The first time that they had taken Birger for a flight, he'd been about three months old. It had been short, of course; just a lap around the island. Hiccup had flown Toothless while Astrid held the baby in her arms. He'd been giggling and shrieking excitedly, and they both knew he'd want a dragon of his own when he got older. It ran in his veins.

Since then, they'd let him have more contact with Toothless and Stormfly. Sometimes they went on flights. Sometimes they went to the stables and placed him on the floor, then watched as the two dragons curiously poked what to them was undoubtedly a strange creature. Birger loved them, and the feeling was obviously mutual. Both their dragons were incredibly protective of him.

As they rose in the sky, Astrid felt glad that she was finally catching up on some much needed sleep these days, or else she wouldn't be fit to fly so far. The first few months of parenthood weren't easy, just like everyone said. She was used to running on little energy, something she'd learnt in her previous life, but even then it hadn't been this extreme. Hiccup was on the same boat as her, and she was glad that the master blacksmith had given him some time off work, or he might've fallen asleep right between his tools and burnt himself.

And of course, she had her own problems. While she could control her thoughts most of the time, there were occasions when she looked at Birger and wondered how she could ever teach him to be a good person, when she herself hadn't been one most of her life. That would usually lead into a downward spiral where she convinced herself she wasn't fit to be a mother, and if she had those thoughts at night, nightmares usually followed.

Hiccup had an infinite amount of patience, and would accept being woken up by her so that he could comfort her. As if he didn't lose enough sleep because of the baby. It was moments like those when she reminded herself of how lucky she was, and thanked every god for having put him in her life.

Other times, the negative emotions happened during the day. When that was the case, Birger was the one who got her out of it. He would cry for her attention, or laugh, or do something, and look at her in that profound way that told her she was his mother, and he loved her; it was that simple for him. And she'd snap out of it. Most of the time, in fact, if she felt tired of not sleeping or having to clean dirty diapers, she'd look at her son and think that he was worth everything.

Still, they decided to wait until he was older to visit Valka. Not just to prevent him from catching any sort of disease, but because travelling such a distance with a toddler who didn't sleep through the night would be insane.

* * *

Stoick absentmindedly finished feeding the dragon that was prodding his hand. Valka had told him what it was called, but he'd heard the names and species of so many dragons in the last months, he couldn't possibly remember them all. Besides, dragon names were the least of his concerns right now.

The fact that his wife was alive, and had been absent for twenty years, was much more pressing.

He didn't know how he didn't collapse when he first saw her, from the sheer onslaught of emotions. In the end, his relief at seeing her again had won, and he'd strode forward fully intent on feeling her in his arms again... but she'd pushed him away, insisting that they talk about Hiccup.

For the remainder of that conversation, he'd just barely managed to put aside his desire to reconnect with her, listening instead to her message. And it wasn't easy to hear. That his son had kept so much from him... it hurt. And eventually, he'd decided that at least he had to give them a chance.

But that came much later. The day after seeing her for the first time, she had come again, and that time, they'd talked about their relationship. Again, he'd stepped forward to hug her, and though she'd seemed reluctant, this time she'd let him, and he understood that she had been afraid of what he was going to do. But when she saw that he meant no harm, she relaxed.

He would've been happy to stay like that, but she wanted to talk. He didn't want to, but only because it would shatter the illusion that everything was all right. In truth, he knew it wasn't like that.

She didn't really try to justify herself. Only said that, when she found a more peaceful life than the one she'd been living, she took it. She admitted that she'd been selfish, leaving him and Hiccup alone, and that she couldn't undo it, only try to make it up. And that, she explained, was the reason why she'd decided to intercede on his and Hofferson's behalf. So that he could have his family together.

She carefully avoided any mention of _them_ , and Stoick wanted desperately to talk about it. Eventually, he mustered the courage to bring it up. Her answer was rather evasive. She confessed that she had always thought he'd find another wife. That he hadn't made her feel guilty, that was evident. But guilt over making him suffer was not equal to love. He'd wanted to insist, but decided not to; she had already bolted once, and could do it again.

So he remained quiet. At first, Valka would come every week or so, and they would talk. He'd tell her about the village, and she'd tell him about the dragons she looked after. About a month later, she showed her trust in him by letting him come to her island, although she was adamant that nobody else learn about it. She showed him the place where she lived now, what she did every day.

And while he was eager to listen to whatever his wife had to share, there was something else to be understood from her actions: she had no plans of coming back to Berk. She wouldn't insist on keeping her existence secret if it were otherwise. She wouldn't tell him all her ideas for future dragons that came to this island.

It pained him at first, of course. He'd thought, when he first laid eyes on her, that he'd get his Valka back, and now he saw that wasn't going to happen. But later, when he reflected on the life that he'd been leading the previous months without Hiccup, he decided to be grateful for what he had. This situation, while not ideal, was still an improvement from the stifling loneliness he'd felt before. At least he got to speak with Valka, to see her. Occasionally she'd let him hold her hand or caress her cheek, but he was always careful not to do it too frequently, for she rejected his touch if he did. And that always stung.

Even so, his visage turned a lot more cheerful... which the other villagers were bound to notice. While nobody in the council questioned it, Gobber was constantly pestering him about what had happened to put him in such a great mood. He disliked keeping secrets from the man, but so far Valka hadn't allowed anyone else to learn the truth. He hoped to be able to convince her of at least letting Gobber come. Eventually.

Valka wasn't the only thing occupying his thoughts, though. Hiccup was also in his mind a lot. Especially now that he knew that he was married and expecting a child. From Hofferson.

He tried hard to convince himself to accept it, he really did. His wife took care to narrate in exact detail everything she'd done, to help her and the dragons, to help Hiccup, which had included recruiting her for a complicated mission... She did her best to paint a more positive picture of her to him, and always mentioned just how happy Hiccup seemed to be with her.

Despite all that, he couldn't help his dislike of her. He could recognise that she had helped his son get out of a terrible situation... but that didn't change anything of what she'd done. When the name Astrid Hofferson was mentioned to him, a dangerous criminal was the first description to pop to mind.

Maybe it was like Valka said, and he just needed to give it time. In any case, he'd agreed to be here when Hiccup and his son came to visit, and try his best to be civil with Hofferson. He may not like her... but he also didn't want Hiccup keeping practically his whole life secret from him.

"Stoick?"

He turned to see Valka, who was rushing towards him. "They're coming."

* * *

Birger was just starting to stir, and just in time, too. His mother's island was growing bigger and bigger on the horizon, and if they had to wake him up, he'd be cranky. Hiccup was glad that their baby found sleep so easily, or else this trip would've been much harder than it was. Obviously, they hadn't travelled all the way without stopping; they'd spent the night at an inn. When Birger got bored, he'd play with the toy he had, or Astrid would tell Stormfly to do some aerial tricks to keep him entertained.

Hiccup had always admired his wife, in a way, even before he liked her, but now he was even more in awe of her. Post-pregnancy blues were not uncommon for first-time mothers, as far as he knew, and he was aware that Astrid had the potential to be a particularly bad case of that. He was sure that she had her doubts about herself, even if he'd never come home to find her sitting in a chair, staring into nothingness, like it had happened in the past.

The nightmares that she'd had some time after the birth told him everything wasn't fine. When those happened, she always thanked him for his patience, and looked terribly guilty for waking him up, but really, what else would he do? Let her suffer it alone? The rings on their hands indicated that he'd be there for her, always. And that was what he meant to do.

In a way, he also felt like Birger helped ground her in a way that he never could. Hiccup had learned to love her, but their son... their son needed her, simply because she was his mother. It was an uncomplicated love, and maybe that was all she required to keep her self-loathing away. And despite the obvious hardships in parenthood, like the constant exhaustion, she never stopped doing her best. Even if she was suffering far more than other mothers did.

He loved her even more for it. To him, it was further proof that she was a much better person than she thought she was.

Toothless' excited noises broke him out of his reverie, as they flew over the island. Some of the dragons there rose up to greet them, and Birger cooed happily when he saw them.

"There!" Astrid exclaimed, pointing to where Cloudjumper was visibly basking in the sunlight. She smiled down at her son. "Let's go meet your grandma, shall we?"

They landed, and Hiccup rushed towards Stormfly. Astrid helped him get Birger off, and then did so herself. They both turned to Valka, who was standing there with a smile that he thought looked at bit strained. Maybe seeing a baby was strange for her.

"Hello, Hiccup, Astrid. And who's that?" she asked looking at the baby in his arms.

He stepped closer so she could see him. "Mum, this is Birger", he beamed.

His mother barely glanced at him, before turning her attention back to Hiccup. "He's great. And... there's someone else here to see him."

Hiccup frowned, confused. Astrid came next to him.

"Who?" she asked in a tone that he knew all too well.

A tone that meant she knew exactly what the answer was. His growing confusion was cleared when, a second later, none other than Stoick stepped out from behind a tree.

"Hello, Hiccup" he said in a nervous tone.

Hiccup looked at him, then at his mother in shock. "What..."

"I told him", she said. "I told him everything you didn't tell him. How you were pushing him away because you knew he didn't approve of your choices."

"And she told me I was in the wrong", his father added. He looked down at Birger, joy and guilt mixed in his features.

Then he turned to Astrid, who raised an eyebrow.

"So did _you_ realise that?" she said levelly. Her tone was just short of cold. "Or are you still deciding whether you are?"

"Astrid..." Hiccup pleaded. If his father was really trying to make amends of some sort, then the last thing they needed was for her to make Stoick mad.

In his arms, Birger moved uneasily at his mother's tone.

She looked at him, her gaze unreadable. "What? I'm not the one who made disapproving comments at every turn." She turned back to Stoick. "I'm not the one who made sure to show how much I don't like what my son has done with his life."

"I have made mistakes", he said, through gritted teeth. "I recognise that. I want to be a part of Hiccup's life", he said, looking at him. "And now I realise that if I want that..."

"You have to put up with me", Astrid finished. "So are you actually going to do that?"

"I will try to be civil with you. I make no promises that I'll ever like you."

That response was typical of his father, but Hiccup felt almost dizzy with the sudden possibility that Stoick could be a bigger part of his life. After all, the loneliness the man felt was blindingly obvious every time he visited. If there was a way to change that...

"Well", Astrid said, "that's good enough for me."

Gratefulness filled him. He could've kissed her, and he would have if it wouldn't have been too much for his father.

"So", Valka spoke up, "I think you two-" she pointed to Stoick and Astrid "-need to have a conversation. Alone. Come along, Hiccup."

"But-"

"Come", she practically dragged him away, leaving his wife and father alone. Now that the reason for her nervousness was out, she fussed over her grandson like he'd expected her to. "Oh, he's a beauty!"

"I know", he smiled. Then he frowned. "You revealed yourself to Dad."

"I did. Look, Hiccup, I know you didn't want to tell him, but-"

"Yeah, how _did_ you know that?"

"I... suspected and opened his letter, when you told me the news. It took me a long time to decide what to do... but I didn't want our family to be split. I hope you can forgive me."

"I'm not mad", he clarified. "If this works out, it'll be great. I didn't try it because I didn't think I could get him to listen to me."

"Oh. Well, it wasn't easy, I'll tell you that."

"And how did he feel? You know... about you being alive and all that."

"Well... he took it better than I expected."

"So... are you guys...?"

"No, I don't think so. But I think your father wants to."

"And you don't?" he asked, surprised. He supposed he shouldn't have been; she wouldn't still be in this island if that was the case. But somewhere deep down, he held hope that his father wouldn't have to be alone.

"I don't know, Hiccup. I'm still thinking about it, but... too much has happened."

"So you're not saying never."

"I'm just saying nothing's definitive. Now, can I hold Birger?"

* * *

Stoick seemed uncomfortable, which was understandable. He was exactly the kind of man who didn't like to admit when he was wrong, and now he had to try to be nice with Astrid. It had to be hard.

She was mildly surprised that Valka had let the secret out. What really stood out to her, though, was that she'd revealed her own existence to her husband, but that was not her problem, thankfully. She wouldn't want to deal with _that_ drama.

"So..." Stoick shuffled his feet. "You and my son."

"Yes", she said. "But surely you knew that when we left together."

"I strongly suspected. I didn't have this kind of confirmation."

"Well, now you do", she shrugged.

There was silence for a few seconds.

"What do you want?" he blurted out.

She thought she knew what he meant, but wanted him to confirm it. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you doing this? You were one of the most famous criminals of the archipelago, and suddenly you're married to my son and have his child? It doesn't make sense. How could you possibly have changed so much in such a short time?"

She sighed, wondering how to explain this to him without making it too long, and in such a way that he would believe her.

"Did you ever think that maybe I didn't really want it, but it was the life I was stuck with?"

He looked disbelieving. Of course. "Now, that's not-"

"Think about it", she cut him off. "I was the daughter of a famous assassin. When my father died, what else could I have possibly done? I was a girl with no relatives, no dowry, nothing. What family would've taken me in, or married me to one of their sons? Tell me."

He was quiet for some time, digesting this. At last he spoke again. "Well, that might explain why you started out on that path, but you didn't have to stay on it."

"That's the problem, though. You've never been in that situation, so you wouldn't know. Hiccup does, because he got to walk a mile in my shoes, albeit unwillingly. But the thing is, once you're on that path, it's extremely hard to get off it. Plus, everyone here knew me. If I had tried to change the course of my life, everyone would've reacted like you right now."

"So what changed?"

She smiled. "You know exactly what."

"I know Hiccup had something to do with it, but I still don't understand. How could someone like you ever fall for someone like my son?"

She shrugged. "I wonder that myself, too, sometimes. But then again, I suppose the heart never listens to reason. I mean, from what Hiccup told me, Valka always opposed you when you fought dragons, yet you still loved her, didn't you?"

He looked away, smiling fondly. "Yes."

"I knew it made no sense. I knew it would never come to anything. But it happened all the same. And once I was at that point..."

She turned to look at her husband and child, who were playing with Valka in the distance. "When you love someone, you have no control."

Stoick came to stand by her, staring at his own wife.

"That's what love is", she continued. "Being powerless."

"Aye", he said. "That is true."

"I was powerless against my urge to stay close to him, even when I knew better. And well... that resulted in Viggo going after him. I never wanted him to have to go through that, but he did. And that will always be my fault. No one else's." Although she knew Hiccup would disagree, it was how she felt. "Then he chose to leave... and let me go with him. And now here we are."

It was again silent. Eventually, Stoick spoke.

"I know love for a partner, and love for a son", he said.

"So do I."

"I don't know if I'll ever like you. But... I don't want to keep pushing Hiccup away. So for his sake, I will try to... deal with this situation."

"As long as you don't try to kill me, I'm good", she half-joked.

"I couldn't do that now. Hiccup would never speak to me again."

"True."

More silence.

"Truce?" she asked, turning to him, holding out her hand.

He looked at her in the eye for a moment, then shook her hand. "Truce."

"Great." She grinned. "Now do you want to meet your grandson, or what?"

* * *

As their dragons rose to leave that evening, Hiccup watched both his parents, but especially his father. There was a light in his eyes that hadn't been there the last time he'd seen him. And he knew he had his mother to thank for that, for bringing them together again.

He didn't know what he and Astrid had talked about, but when they came back, Stoick seemed much less averse to her. He fussed over Birger without showing anything but adoration, and while he kept some distance from Astrid, it didn't seem as hostile as before. The rest of the day had been spent all together, as a family.

He hadn't thought that was going to be possible, but seeing both his parents caring for his son filled his heart in a way he never imagined it could.

"So", he asked his wife, "what did you guys talk about?"

"Well, you, mostly."

His eyebrows raised. "Me?"

"Of course. You're the one thing that we have in common." She brushed Birger's head in front of her. "Well, used to be, anyway."

"I'm glad you guys were able to make peace."

"So am I." Her eyes were warm. "Mostly because you seem much happier now."

"I am. My family... _our_ family is whole", he corrected himself.

She looked surprised. "Hiccup..."

"It's like you said. When we got married, you became a part of my family, just like I became part of yours."

She looked down at Birger, and smiled softly. "Our family", she agreed.


	23. These are the days of our lives

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, guys, but other things were taking up my mind and I wanted to give this chapter the attention it deserved. After all... it's the last one.**

* * *

Heather looked at her map to make sure that she was heading in the right direction. She never came south, so she had no idea of what islands around here looked like, and couldn't rely on that to guide her. Besides, if she got lost, she had no doubt local people would be able to tell she was a foreigner, and she didn't know if they'd help her in that case. The trader who had given her the map had assured her that they were friendly people, but she'd rather be extra careful. Besides, wherever she landed, she'd have to hide Windshear, a prospect she didn't look forward to.

She wished Eret was here. Having been a sailor for years, he was much better at finding the right direction from the stars and the position of the sun. But he'd refused her invitation to come see Astrid, explaining that he didn't want to interrupt what would be a heartfelt reunion. Part of Heather suspected that Eret simply didn't want to travel so far.

The idea of seeing her friend again filled her with joy. Ever since their parting about five years ago, they had exchanged occasional letters, but it was meaningless compared to a face-to-face chat. At first, Heather didn't want to intrude on Astrid's new life. She seemed happy, exploring islands and having adventures with Hiccup, and the brunette knew she was a reminder of things that the blonde probably wanted to forget. So she stayed away. Then she found out about her marriage and subsequent moving to an island, and obviously she couldn't visit at that moment. Her friend was still adapting to just doing regular tasks like cleaning or trading for household items, not to mention in the middle of her honeymonth. She certainly wouldn't want to interrupt _that_.

Later, she got the news that Astrid had had a child, and that had made Heather happier than anything else. She'd read that particular letter many times, enjoying the obvious elation in the written words. Again, with a small child, Astrid was bound to be occupied, and so Heather kept her distance. Then, the brunette got into a complicated affair that would've made visiting impossible.

But now, long enough had passed, and she wanted to see someone she loved like a sister. So she made up her mind and set on her journey. A journey that, if she was reading the map correctly, would end in a few minutes, maybe.

Indeed, it wasn't much later that she saw an island. While these people were used to Toothless and Stormfly, it didn't mean they wouldn't be alarmed if they saw a strange dragon in the sky, so she commanded Windshear to fly around and hide in the forest.

Once she got to the village, she realised that it was, like Astrid had said, quite small. Which meant that everyone soon noticed that she wasn't from there.

"Can I help you?" a man asked, coming closer. Deciding not to be suspicious of him, she nodded.

"I'm looking for Astrid Hoff... Haddock. Astrid Haddock", she corrected herself. "I'm an old friend of hers, from the north."

The man scrutinised her for a moment, before apparently deciding she was trustworthy. "Continue down this road, and you'll find it. It's the house with the stables right next to it."

"Thanks", she smiled and walked away.

The people looked at her curiously, but said nothing. Soon, she had to take off some armour and roll up her sleeves. Astrid hadn't been joking when she said it was much warmer here.

She was about to reach the house when something slammed into her legs from the side. Looking down, she found the blonde head of a boy. He had been carrying a basket full of apples, most of which were now rolling on the floor. He looked up at her with large blue eyes.

"Sorry", he said sheepishly. He ducked and began picking the apples up.

She smiled. "It's okay. Let me give you a hand with that."

She helped him, and once all the apples were back in their place, she saw that the basket was rather heavily loaded for the boy; he had to be four or five at most.

"Hey, do you want me to carry that for you?"

The boy seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, before nodding. They walked silently side by side, though Heather kept an eye on him because she had no idea where he was headed. After a few minutes, they reached a house with a secondary building just outside. It looked oddly familiar, but she couldn't place where she'd seen such a structure before.

The boy knocked on the door. When no one answered, he knocked again. Still nothing.

"Mum must be out back, training", he said, and began walking along the house's side. Hesitating, Heather followed him.

She heard some grunts and the unmistakable sound of an axe hitting a tree before she saw her. Blonde hair in an ornate braid, and simple clothes. She suspected for a moment, and then the woman turned around.

It was Astrid.

She looked at Heather in astonishment, but before she could say anything, the little boy ran up to her. "Mummy!" he said. "You were right. Those were too many apples for me."

Astrid picked him up, hoisting him against her hip, then smiled at the brunette.

"And this kind lady helped you carry them?"

Meanwhile, Heather was trying to make sense of what she saw. She knew that Astrid had a son, of course, but reading about it and actually seeing it were two different things. The blonde had always been a caring boss, but that didn't mean she'd make a good mother, too. Yet here she was, expertly carrying her little boy who had obviously been raised in a loving home. Hel, even her clothes were adapted to the new situation; the spiky skirt had been replaced with a more conventional one, probably to prevent her child from being hurt by them, and her shoulder plates had been replaced with leather. Her face was different, too. More mature, but it looked good on her.

She was so lost in her contemplation that she missed the child's response, but she caught Astrid's voice again. "Well, aren't you going to thank her?"

The little boy turned to her. This time, Heather looked at him with more attention, and she could see the similarities. Not just the obvious ones, like the hair and the eyes, but more subtle details like the shape of his nose and cheeks. And if she really squinted, she could see Hiccup in the boy's face, too.

"Thank you", he said.

"You're welcome", Heather replied. "Now, Astrid, aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Of course!" the other woman grinned. "This is my son Birger." Heather's eyes widened in surprise at hearing the name. "Birg, this is Heather. She's an old friend of mine."

Birger watched her attentively, in a way that reminded her of his father. "From the north?"

"Yes", Astrid confirmed, and set him down on the ground. "Go on, say hi."

He stepped shyly forward, and Heather bent down to his level.

"Hello, Heather", he said politely, and the brunette smiled.

"Hello, Birger", she answered. "You can think of me as aunt Heather, if you want. Your mum is practically my sister", she winked.

The boy looked behind him at his mother, who nodded encouragingly. He turned back to her and smiled. "All right then", he said. "Aunt Heather."

"Now", Astrid interrupted, "why don't you go find Runa and get the rest of the food so I can start cooking?"

Birger nodded and ran off. When he did, Heather barely had time to get up before she was wrapped in Astrid's arms. She returned the embrace with equal force.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Astrid asked. "I would've... I don't know, made something special to eat."

Heather laughed. "I wanted to surprise you", she answered, not letting go of her.

"Well, you did. Gods, I've missed you so much."

"Me too", she said. "I wanted to visit earlier. But you were busy, and then _I_ was busy, and... ugh. But I'm here now."

Astrid finally stepped back to see her face. She was beaming. "Luckily. You look great, by the way."

She laughed. "So do you. And, well, clearly Birger inherited his mum's good looks."

"And his dad's brain", the blonde added, grasping the basket full of apples. "It seems all he does, when he's not observing stuff, is ask questions."

"How is he?" the brunette asked, walking next to her and inside the house. "Hiccup, I mean."

"He's great. He found work as a blacksmith, so he still gets to use his skills."

Heather smirked. "That's not all I was asking."

Astrid stared at her for a second, then smirked right back. "Things are good. _Very_ good. And that's all I'll say."

"Seriously?" she asked, disappointed. "I don't get _any_ details? I remember telling _you_ everything."

"Because you wanted to, not because I asked."

"True", she admitted. "But still. Nothing? Absolutely nothing?"

Astrid sighed as she began taking out some apples to wash in a basin. "His hands are skilled at more than just creating things. I'll tell you that."

"That's better", she smiled. Then she grew serious. "And, you know, other than that..."

Astrid laughed. "We're perfectly fine, Heather."

The brunette was relieved. She'd urged her friend to leave everything behind in order to find happiness, and she was glad it had worked so well. "Good for you. What about, you know, domestic life?"

"Not as boring as I thought, surprisingly. I train the younger people in combat, so there's that. I don't spend all day cooped up in here."

"I never thought you would", Heather smiled, and went to help her friend with the apples. "But to be honest, I can't say I would do the same. Doing stuff like this every day... eh. Not for me."

"Yeah, what _have_ you been doing?"

She told her, about the different jobs that she took, never staying in one place for too long. Her absolute freedom had been strange at first, but she'd soon got used to it. When she mentioned seeing Eret occasionally, Astrid wiggled her eyebrows.

"And how is _that_ going?"

Heather laughed. "As good as it could be, considering what it is. Just two people who every now and then sleep together."

"So you don't want anything more?"

"Not for now, no. I think Eret does, but to be honest I don't think either of us could handle something resembling a committed relationship."

"And what has _he_ been doing?"

Hours passed by as Heather told her what she knew about her former co-workers. Obviously, there were many whose fate she didn't know, since she didn't try to keep up with everyone. Astrid, in turn, told her about her everyday life here in Thor's rock. It was oddly ordinary for the blonde, but she was clearly content and that was all that really mattered. They also reminisced about their previous life together, although they didn't stop on the nasty details.

Around noon, Hiccup came home to eat with his family. He was obviously surprised to see her, but it seemed to Heather that he was glad to see her, too, if only because her presence made his wife smile. Throughout their meal, she took special notice of how they looked at each other, and was overjoyed to see their love for each other so plainly written on their faces.

Astrid had truly found happiness.

Hiccup stayed around for a while, and they all talked together while Heather got acquainted with Birger, who was obviously curious about her. He asked her many questions about who she was, and later, with his parent's approval, she took him to meet Windshear. The Razorwhip had sniffed him curiously, not used to the presence of young children.

"She likes you", she'd told him, and he nodded.

"Toothless and Stormfly do, too. Dad says it's because I look like a baby to them."

"Could be. He probably knows more about dragons than me." She noticed how he petted Windshear carefully, expertly. "And you like them too, don't you?"

"Yes", he said. "I want my own dragon. Mum and Dad say I can have one, when I'm older."

"Sounds great", she smiled. "In the meantime, want me to take you for a ride?"

During their flight, it was obvious that he'd done this before, because he stayed still and hanging on to her, instead of moving around. He was also clearly enjoying it. He'd make a great rider, just like his parents.

Finally, it was time to go. Astrid invited her to stay over, but she declined. She didn't want to intrude, and besides, she had important matters to attend to back home.

"Well, come by any time", the blonde said. "And preferably don't take so long next time", she joked.

"You could visit _me_ , you know, especially now that I know you go north to see Hiccup's parents." It had been interesting, to hear about the reconciliation of sorts between her friend and Stoick. She was glad that peace had come to them.

"Yeah, but we never know where you'll be."

"Touché. Well, if you send me a letter, I can try to make sure to be somewhere close."

"I'll hold you to that", Astrid said as she hugged her. Then the brunette hugged Hiccup, and finally the little boy. "See you soon, Birger", she said.

They waved at her until the forest hid them from her view. And as she walked away towards Windshear, she had a huge smile on her face.

Her friend had what she'd always wanted. Finally.

* * *

Astrid sighed as she restlessly turned over in bed. It was amazing how used she was to sleeping next to Hiccup, to the point that she found it harder to do so when he wasn't there. But since he'd spent the afternoon at home with her and Heather, he had to make up for the time lost at the smithy, so he was working late.

She was so glad to see Heather again; from her letters, it seemed the brunette was always busy with one thing or the other, so she never even tried to visit. It had been an unexpected surprise, but definitely a pleasant one. It was good to know that her friend was doing well. Astrid wasn't surprised that her life was still so chaotic, though; Heather was never one to stay still for long. But it was what she wanted, so it was fine.

Truth be told, it had also been a surreal experience to see someone who was so intrinsically tied to her previous life. And she'd be lying if she said that it didn't bring back some unwanted memories, as happy as she was to see Heather. They'd barely talked about it, mindful of Birger, who was nearby, but she still remembered.

That had also brought to the forefront of her mind a question that she was trying to ignore: should she tell her son about her past, someday? He was curious, just like Hiccup, and she knew that one day, when he grew up, he'd want to know about their life before coming here. What would she say to him then? She'd hate hiding it from him, but the prospect of telling the truth was terrifying.

She didn't know how long had passed, but suddenly she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. They were too light to be Hiccup's, though.

"Birg?" she asked softly. The door creaked open.

"Mum?" he said. "Can I come in?"

"What's the matter, sweetie? Can't sleep?" Being four years old, he sometimes got nightmares.

"I was thinking."

Huh. Not the answer she was expecting. "Come in", she said. He stepped inside and went to the bed. She sat up and scooted over to leave him some room. He settled in beside her, and she brushed his hair behind his ear. He'd need a haircut soon, she thought. "What are you thinking about?"

"Something that aunt Heather said."

She smiled at the nickname. It was funny that Heather would want to be an aunt, but then again, she'd never imagined herself being a mother, so... "What did she say?"

"She... when she was talking to you, she asked you if you still thought about everything you did, and you said that you did, sometimes. That you were sorry for it, but had to learn to be okay with it."

Astrid froze.

If this conversation ever came, she'd expected to have it with a much older Birger. Not when he was this young.

"And?" she asked, glad that the darkness hid her expression.

"And... it sounded like you did something bad, Mum. And I can't imagine you doing something bad, but... I keep thinking about it. I can't come up with another explanation. So... I decided to ask." He paused. "Did you do something bad, Mummy?"

She couldn't see his face right now, and part of her was glad for it. His tone was so innocent, though, with only a hint of worry in it. None of the judgement she'd expected... but then again, he was too young for that.

She sighed. She'd decided long ago that, just like she'd never lied to Hiccup, she'd never lie to Birger, either. "Yes."

The single word felt like an anvil dropping. She waited, with baited breath, for him to answer. He wouldn't understand the gravity of what she was saying at first... but it would soon dawn on him, she knew.

After a few seconds, the inevitable question came. "How bad?" His voice was more curious than anything else.

She inhaled. "Very bad." She hesitated to elaborate, but she knew that he'd ask anyway. "I... I killed people. Many times."

There. It was out. She heard Birger's breath hitch. Undoubtedly, he wasn't expecting her to speak quite so candidly, and maybe she shouldn't have done so.

But she remembered herself at that age, and her own father telling her the truth. He hadn't avoided the conversation, but rather explained to her what he did and why. She now saw that it couldn't have been easy for him.

If he could be brave enough to tell her that, then she had to be brave for her son, too.

Since he was sitting so close to her, she could feel that he'd gone rigid. However, he hadn't scooted away from her yet. That was a small victory.

At last, he spoke again. "Were you a bad person, mummy? Is that why you did it?" His tone was more guarded this time.

She sighed, putting her thoughts in order. Trying to come up with a way to explain this to a four-year-old so that he would understand. "Not at first. At first, I was just a scared little girl. I was alone, and... if someone tried to harm me... I made sure that they couldn't do it anymore." A giant oversimplification, but it'd have to do. "But then... I got used to it. And that's when mummy turned into a bad person."

This time, the pause didn't last so long. "But you didn't _stay_ a bad person." He sounded like he was thinking out loud.

"I was, for a while. Some years." She didn't want to sugar-coat this; he deserved the truth. Just because she'd changed, it didn't negate what she'd still done. "Until I met your dad. And, eventually, he convinced me to change."

"How?"

She pondered how to answer. "He told me that, if I wanted to stop being a bad person, the only one who could make that decision was me."

"So you did?"

She wondered if she should tell him about how she thought she didn't deserve it, before deciding that it'd be too complex a conversation. "When I understood, yes."

It was quiet again. Birger was obviously processing everything, but he wasn't as tense as before, which she took as a good sign. She wanted to hug him, to make sure he didn't find her repellent, but she was aware this wasn't the moment. The last thing she wanted to do was force him to do something, right after talking about her previous criminal behaviour.

"So..." he finally said. "You were a bad person. You did bad things."

"Yes", she confirmed cautiously.

"Is that why grandpa doesn't like you?"

She stiffened for a second. Although her relationship with Stoick was much better, there was still a definite coldness in the way he treated her. It seemed Birger had noticed.

"Yes."

"But you changed. Daddy made you change."

"Aha."

"And... you're sorry for what you did."

"I am, but sadly there's nothing I can do about it."

"Okay then."

That was confusing. "Okay?"

"You were bad", he said slowly. "But Daddy always says that, when you hurt someone, the best thing you can do is to accept you were wrong, say sorry, and try to be better next time. And you did that."

The knot that had been tying up in her stomach loosened instantly, and she had to do her best to stop the sudden tears that welled in her eyes from spilling. She couldn't hide the sob that escaped her, though.

"Mum?" Birger was alarmed.

It was like Hiccup had said; she was his mother, and he loved her unconditionally for that. The relief was indescribable.

"Don't worry, sweetie", she managed through the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. "I'm fine. I was..." She couldn't find the words to tell him that she'd been scared of his reaction. Scared that he might hate her.

She felt his short arms wrapping around her, and she hugged him tightly back.

"Don't cry, Mummy", Birger said. "I love you."

Another sob came out. "I love you too, sweetie."

* * *

She was jolted awake when she felt Birger being taken from her arms. For an instant she started to get ready to attack... before she realised it was just Hiccup.

"Hey", he said softly. "Didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay", she whispered.

While he went to put their son in bed, she lit a candle in their room so Hiccup could get undressed more easily. When he came back, he yawned loudly.

"Long day?" she asked.

"You have no idea", he sighed as he quickly removed his tunic. He got into the bed and did a double take as he looked at her.

"Were you crying?" he asked, concerned, and she realised her eyes must be red.

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry."

"What happened?"

She told him.

Hiccup lay on his back, staring at the ceiling for a moment. Then he turned back to her and smiled.

"I'm usually not one to say this, but I told you so."

"Yeah. You did."

"So he's fine?"

"Seems like it. I'm sure he hasn't fully processed it yet, though. We'll probably have to talk with him tomorrow. Tell him not to tell others." She took a deep breath. "I'm not ready for everyone to know. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be." She felt like a coward, but part of what made her new life so idyllic was the fact that nobody judged her.

"Hey, it's okay." He reached out to brush her hair. "Nobody knows anything about me, either, remember? We don't have to tell them everything."

"I know, but what you did doesn't even compare and you know it. I just... wish I could own up to everything, in front of everyone. But I can't."

"You owned up in your consciousness", he said soothingly. "That's all that really matters. Nobody else."

She smiled. No matter what, he was always so incredibly supportive of her. Sometimes she wondered what she'd done to deserve him.

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "I love you, Hiccup."

"And I love you."

She looked into his adoring gaze, and felt like it was the right moment to let him in on something that had been in her mind for a while. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I've... kinda been thinking about getting Birger a sibling." She bit her lip. "Maybe a little sister."

His eyebrows rose for a moment in surprise, but his smile was back quickly enough. "Funny." He rolled over so that he was on top of her. "I've been thinking the same thing."

She wove her fingers into his hair, dragging his head closer to hers. "Shall we, then?"

He chuckled lowly before pressing his lips to hers.

* * *

 **A/N: Aaand... that's a wrap. I can't believe I'm saying it.**

 **I never thought this whole story, starting from Burning, would turn out to be as long as it did... but here we are. I always wanted to reach this ending, and although it took a lot more than I thought it would, I finally managed it.**

 **I want to give a final thank you, to all of you, for reviewing, favouriting, following, and generally letting me know that you were interested in this story. I never would've made it this far without your support.**

 **I do plan to write a little drabble that's basically going to be an AU of this AU: what would've happened if Astrid had decided to go to Berk when her father died, instead of going to the Outcasts. Even without a life of crime, she still has some secrets at that point, so... yeah. majothemexican asked for it, and I thought it sounded interesting, so I'll try that. I don't know when, though.**

 **Even so, this is officially the end of this story, this universe. So thank you all, again, and I'll see you in the next one!**


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